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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Brain drain pain turned to gain

I have so many things I want to write about today. It is a strange kind of writers block I have been having for the last few days. Too much to write about, and the inability to focus on one topic only. While this may seem like a good problem, you know like those pro athletes with their millions of problems, it is still frustrating. The main reason is that there is so much floating in my head that it is hard to stay focused. Compound that with jet lag, insomnia, and the feeling you get of uncertainty when the future presents so many paths, and you get the pool of A.D.D. infused delightful confusion that is my gray mushy little mind.

Politics offer so much with so little right now. We have this situation we can dissect like a frog in biology class that is just as lifeless. Your frog is not very different from your class mates frog. They probably have sat on the shelf for the same period of time. They stink. They all have an asshole. Oh and nothing you cut off of this little green beastie is going to taste good, no matter how much sugar you put on it. So really hard to pick on thing to talk about there.

On the personal front, its just hard to align my thoughts with people. Its just about the same as that little homage to Kermit we call modern politics. It seems that everyone has an opinion or suggestion as to how your life should be lived. However they don't seem happy with their life at all. People get so wrapped up in what they are told about how to be happy, that they can't let themselves be happy, and they have to bother other people about how to be happy so they can justify their own fucked up pursuit of what society has defined as happiness for them.

I am regressing socially to a more simplistic understanding of life. This is helping get all these little thoughts about big things in line. They are helping me think about the sound of one hand clapping at a pirate party with Captain Hook. I suppose it would go smack ow smack ow smack ow, or something along those lines. Seriously, what really does matter to us? Why does it matter? Does it matter because someone else says it matters, or because we as a people understand that it matters to us as individuals. Or perhaps our thoughts are nothing more than prepackaged hydrolyzed shots of high fucktard life syrup served in convenient individual serving sizes?

Right now my only bastion of sanity has been writing. Not writing here obviously, but rather writing on stories, and research. It is my form of escapism that oddly keeps me connected in a way that many people would not understand. I can step back and see those things that most people ignore from the outside. You see the details that change and shape the world around us with the subtle beauty of a smile.

Why do we feel the need to complicate everything. It is as if the greater levels of complexity somehow add value to what ever it is we are looking at. The truth though lies in a basic principal of a physical science. Let us look at engineering, and think about what makes a machine or structure perfect. It is not in what you can add, but what you can take away. How simple can you make a device and it still be able to preform its function? If its a toothbrush, why does it need to be a pizza slicing, fossil fuel detecting missile of social reconstruction with a love button accessory?

So in the end, I try to coalesce my thoughts and find that all I really need to do is smile. I am not worried about all the crap that people try to spoon feed me, because its my choice to open my mouth and chew. I am going to worry about my happiness, and try not to step on somebody on the way. I am tired of being fucked, but I would not mind getting laid. So in the mean time I will write, get my thoughts together, and stop being worried about things. Worry is nothing anyway and holds no value.

So if you are not offering me a hand, I will take a handie. If you are not offering me a beer, I will accept rum. If you are not offering me a smile, an exchange of Oh faces will be just fine. You can keep your grief, hate, and discontent. I have better things do than to get wrapped up in a game that people really can not win. Oh and one more thing,... Get over yourself.

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