I have so many things I want to write
about today. It is a strange kind of writers block I have been having
for the last few days. Too much to write about, and the inability to
focus on one topic only. While this may seem like a good problem, you
know like those pro athletes with their millions of problems, it is
still frustrating. The main reason is that there is so much floating
in my head that it is hard to stay focused. Compound that with jet
lag, insomnia, and the feeling you get of uncertainty when the future
presents so many paths, and you get the pool of A.D.D. infused
delightful confusion that is my gray mushy little mind.
Politics offer so much with so little
right now. We have this situation we can dissect like a frog in
biology class that is just as lifeless. Your frog is not very
different from your class mates frog. They probably have sat on the
shelf for the same period of time. They stink. They all have an
asshole. Oh and nothing you cut off of this little green beastie is
going to taste good, no matter how much sugar you put on it. So
really hard to pick on thing to talk about there.
On the personal front, its just hard to
align my thoughts with people. Its just about the same as that little
homage to Kermit we call modern politics. It seems that everyone has
an opinion or suggestion as to how your life should be lived. However
they don't seem happy with their life at all. People get so wrapped
up in what they are told about how to be happy, that they can't let
themselves be happy, and they have to bother other people about how
to be happy so they can justify their own fucked up pursuit of what
society has defined as happiness for them.
I am regressing socially to a more
simplistic understanding of life. This is helping get all these
little thoughts about big things in line. They are helping me think
about the sound of one hand clapping at a pirate party with Captain
Hook. I suppose it would go smack ow smack ow smack ow, or something
along those lines. Seriously, what really does matter to us? Why does
it matter? Does it matter because someone else says it matters, or
because we as a people understand that it matters to us as
individuals. Or perhaps our thoughts are nothing more than
prepackaged hydrolyzed shots of high fucktard life syrup served in
convenient individual serving sizes?
Right now my only bastion of sanity has
been writing. Not writing here obviously, but rather writing on
stories, and research. It is my form of escapism that oddly keeps me
connected in a way that many people would not understand. I can step
back and see those things that most people ignore from the outside.
You see the details that change and shape the world around us with
the subtle beauty of a smile.
Why do we feel the need to complicate
everything. It is as if the greater levels of complexity somehow add
value to what ever it is we are looking at. The truth though lies in
a basic principal of a physical science. Let us look at engineering,
and think about what makes a machine or structure perfect. It is not
in what you can add, but what you can take away. How simple can you
make a device and it still be able to preform its function? If its a
toothbrush, why does it need to be a pizza slicing, fossil fuel
detecting missile of social reconstruction with a love button
accessory?
So in the end, I try to coalesce my
thoughts and find that all I really need to do is smile. I am not
worried about all the crap that people try to spoon feed me, because
its my choice to open my mouth and chew. I am going to worry about my
happiness, and try not to step on somebody on the way. I am tired of
being fucked, but I would not mind getting laid. So in the mean time
I will write, get my thoughts together, and stop being worried about
things. Worry is nothing anyway and holds no value.
So if you are not offering me a hand, I
will take a handie. If you are not offering me a beer, I will accept
rum. If you are not offering me a smile, an exchange of Oh faces will
be just fine. You can keep your grief, hate, and discontent. I have
better things do than to get wrapped up in a game that people really
can not win. Oh and one more thing,... Get over yourself.
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