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Friday, July 29, 2011

I still has checks!

How many of you still use a check book? Hopefully not many. However most of you try your best to be responsible and maintain a sense of balance on your own personal finance. Imagine though that you are exceeding you are living back at home. You parents are fighting over money. Your mom says we can make it work, but we need get another credit card. The spending is only twelve hundred more a month then what is brought in. Dad says no, we are not getting another card, and he wants to cut out spending. He starts by saying we can save twelve hundred a month is we stop donating to charity, stop eating, stop going out, and stop paying for health insurance.

This is the whole argument with the debt ceiling. Both sides are being retarded, and fighting each other so hard they are ignoring what the hell is going on. We spend ONE HUNDRED TWENTY BILLION dollars more then we bring in every month. Yes billion. Also they are using this to create a fiscal crisis in the US. If they fail to raise the debt ceiling, aka get another credit card, the adverse effect is we lose our triple A rating. We would still be a double A. These means we may or may not have to pay more in interest. Yet they spin it up like a commercial finance Armageddon. Wall street of course buys into it, so they can blame their own irresponsible behavior on the government.

On the other side of the party lines they want to cut spending. Sounds like a great idea right, why spend more then you make? The trouble is they are looking to cut things that people count on. They are talking about cutting food stamps, with out offering those on them better employment. They are talking about cutting government support programs without insuring those that are on them have the means to support themselves. Most of the cuts they are offering are bitter attempts at making their partners on the hill look bad becasue they will never agree. It would be like you or I cutting out gas money without getting a ride to work, cutting out food without getting something to substitute it. Then you add something excessive to the list like going out and buying twelve happy meals and throwing them in a dumpster to piss off the homeless. Then when the other side will not agree to it points that is what they bring up saying that their opponent just wants to keep on throwing away those happy meals.

The issue is they are both horribly wrong, but they are locked in a fight so old they can not use reason. Creating more debt to pay debt is robbing Peter to pay Paul. Cutting all spending is cutting off your nose to spite your face. The solutions however are simple and where solved for us in middle school. If you spend more then you make you need to either cut spending and bring it back to that level, or you can bring in more money. For most of us that would mean getting a second job, for the country though that would be raising taxes.

Now everybody talks about raising taxes like tax the rich. I agree that the rich could and should pay a bit more in taxes, but you have to understand a few basic principles about rich people. Most of them are rich because they are very protective about their money, and they are extremely smart in what they do to make their money. If you tax them more they will find other ways to make money and keep more of it. Do not hate them because they do what many will not try to do. Be happy to know though they do pay sales tax, property tax, and a variety of luxury taxes. They just do not pay as high of a percentage on their income.

Even then lets look at taxes and government programs. Lets look at all the things the government spends our money on and see what makes sense. First the average Joe loses almost twenty five percent of their income to taxes or funding government programs. So if you worked for one dollar a day (like many other countries) you only take home seventy five cents. Now you spend that seventy five cents and have to pay taxes on your purchases. National average is at least another ten percent or ten cents. So at the end of the day you only make sixty five cents, and the government makes thirty five percent directly from your labor.

That being said don't you think it would be nice to hold them accountable for your labor? Do you think it would make sense that you say what they spend your labor on? Shouldn't all the programs be brought to the table, and all of them should be looked at and tracked for success? Wouldn't it make sense that we see how our labor is spent before they ask us for more labor? Because the rich will protect their money, and those tax raises will be put on us. It is the way it has worked for generations. So think about that.

I say DC needs to balance the damn check book. They need to stop bickering like divorced parents living together. They all need to shut the fuck up and look at what they are doing to all of us. Hence the other phase in the war on stupid. I once proposed that during the next two elections that you do not reelect a single person in office. Let them know we are tired of the party bickering that serves nobody and sure as hell does not serve the country. I say we cut their retirement checks and salaries. Get their damn hands off ours. Getting elected should not be winning the lottery, it should be about serving your country. It should not be about trumping up your party, but serving your country you ass hat.

That is the beauty of America, we can take the reigns back. We can fix it if we really want to. So get involved in your future. Declare war on stupid and take the fight to them. Hand them a pink slip and make them balance the check book with pointing fingers. Stop grand standing and show boating, just fix it. I don't care what party you are, I just care if you are really trying to do whats right by the country, or are you only worried about trying to do right by you? So don't put up with this crap people and stop declaring your are republican or a democrat, and start calling yourself an American.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

San Dimas High School Football Rules!!

It looks like we will not be hearing this outside of San Dimas, or on the silver screen. Scientist at Honk Kong university stated clearly that time travel is not improbable, but flat out impossible. Yeah scientist really did something to help their image of being party poopers. Why do they feel the need to crush my fantasy with reality? What next? Do they debunk the theory of space fold, kill Torchwood, or tell me there are not little tiny copies of people hiding in my cell phone talking in my head? Worse yet, will they tell me that women will never be figured out?

I understand the need to get it out to the world so you get credit, like Watson and Crick and that whole double helix ladder of life shit. You discover something you have to share it with the world, but in the process these guys also crushed an entire section of science fiction. That makes me sad. I have never really thought about writing a time travel novel, but I loved Quantum Leap. I also really wanted to make like a tree and split.

I guess what really bothers me is that our standard pursuit of knowledge kills our imagination bit by bit. Imagination is needed even in the pursuit of knowledge. Our ancient ancestors used imagination to describe the things they did not know, like Apollo's chariot got to close to the earth and poof deserts. Or we need a way to rebuild an empire and keep the poor people inline with a terror only they can create so we can sexually assault their children, and poof the Vatican.

I remember when I was a child my mother told me that the sunsets and sunrise was the only time it was safe for the Dragons to take flight. The sky would light up with their play. As they belched their fire and lighting the sky would take on the colors of the old Denver Bronco uniforms. Having read some even as a kid I was terrified of this. Hydrogen is flammable. The also had to breath other flammable gases there by being the true source of the green house effect. Fucking Dragons, no wonder they always die in the stories. Industrial age my ass.

Now my thoughts of traveling back in time to vacation in places and enjoying unbridled civilization are dashed. I will never legally go on a viking raid, spread the plague to the crappy places in Europe, or eliminate the genetic material that would later become the myriad amount of douche nozzles that annoy me. I guess I shall after conquer the planet to make sure I can do those things and take them off my bucket list.

To make matters even worse this information came from China. I am not a huge fan of China already. I mean they corrupted Walmart, and made it a red neck breading ground as part of their plot at global domination. Quite frankly that is what really peeves me about them, is the competition on the global conquest thing. I also think they are doing it for the wrong reasons. They are doing it for ego, while I am doing it for purely selfish entertainment reasons.

So I am going to ignore the speed of the photon, Pluto is still a planet to me, and the scientist can take intelligent design concepts to make better toilet paper. I am not a scientist so I will take a page from the extremist on the left and right and just ignore things that infringe on my limited sensibilities. Yeah that's right damn you, I am going to get in my phone booth in front of the circle K and wait for Neo.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Spare some change?

Its driving me nuts that so many people think they have the solutions for everybody but their life is shit. People offering parenting advice when their kids are screaming lunatics or worse. People offering financial advise and they can't pay their own bills. Oh and all those people that tell you about your relationships when they have a turnstile for a door in their life. If you have been divorced six times it does not make you a master of love, it makes you a subject matter expert on divorce.

To compound that further even if you have done something multiple times does not mean you did it right. Take that cat that got divorce six times. Did they get taken to the cleaners each time? If they didn't lose anything was it becasue they really had nothing left to lose? You can learn from them, but probably not from their advice unless it really is about what not to do.

To me intelligence is learning from your own mistakes. Wisdom is the ability to learn from the mistakes of others. In this world most people struggle with intelligence and give into the definition of insanity. If it didn't work one way, do it over and over again the same way is not going to help. People caught in loops are not good sources of advice even if they tell you they are. They are as mad as a hatter, and not in the good way.

There is also two sides of this coin. Just because you think you know how to do something does not mean you have to share it with the world. You found something that worked for you, great. That does not mean you have the right or responsibility to share it with anyone that is unfortunate to come within arms reach of you. I am a firm believer advice should be asked for, and interventions are not as good if the target is not receptive.

If you really want to be an advice columnist take that advice from Dear Abby. People ask for her advice. She does not send random emails to people telling them how to live their lifes. They go to her. Be Abby if you really feel you need to offer advice, and you feel you really have learned enough from life that you have the right to screw with other peoples life.

The best way to do this is to do what I call the ideal approach to parenting. Be the person you want your kids to be. If you want your kids to be successful, show them how. You want your kids to be respectful, show people respect. You want your children to use manners, you do so in all aspects of your life. You want your kids to grow up healthy, stop shoveling crap into your throat and go out and get active. In essence stop being the fucktard you are, and be that cool ass cat you want them to think you are.

Then if you are that person people may come to you for advice, or maybe a genetic donation. You might even find success in those other areas of your life by default. So stop trying to fix other people, and fix yourself. Nobody likes it when a douche bag shares. Don't be a douche.

The reason for this is that I have gotten good advice from people recently about my writing. I noticed that those that gave me the advice told me what worked for them. They are actually good at what they do. They also offered suggestions. I asked for most of them. Few tidbits passed my way unsolicited. I also did not go to people that struggled to throw their work at people.

I understand you have to pimp your work, but also don't quit your day job. I took the advice to write this blog so I can see if I can really write all the day time like its a job. I am enjoying it for the most part writing everyday. Now I also write more after this, also learning that I can do work writing and still have the energy to write what I want after. That is good advice. This came from somebody who is successful in this industry.

At the end of the day, you have a brain use it. If you brain sucks figure out how too use a smart dudes brain. Most people know that if you feel bad about something it is probably bad. If you are scared that is not the same as feeling bad. Last but not least, if you take financial advice from a broke ass bum, don't cry when you see your wallpaper turn to cardboard. Yay Fannie Mae.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Layers, like a parfait,.. hmm parfait.

I gave time last night to pause in thought. I put up a question on my Facebook page looking to press gang the mind into being creative. That and a glass or two of some real good mead from Dithyramb Winery. I think the mission was successful. I wrote a few pages, but more important I wrote some quality stuff. I also thought deeply on the topic and that got me going in another direction. My mind does that, you say peach and I think James.

Yesterday I asked a question about rites of passage. I wanted examples of what people had gone through. They are all around us, from that first hunting trip, to boot camp, and even a few traditional ceremonial rites. The one that stuck with me though was a friend of mine stating regret for being unable to attend one in his life. To compound the thought process he went into what he lost, or at least perceived that he lost from not attending such rites of passage.

From there my brain pulled a Barry Sanders and started running all over the field going places that people didn't think it could by taking many more steps then it should. I started thinking about community. I starting thinking about status. I started thinking about the little groups with in groups, and the value we get from them. I started thinking about this importance we stress on community. There is a need in us to interact with others that does not seem to be justified in modern survival. I also see the development of a whole new social structure with other needs in the upcoming generations.

How many friends do you have on your friends list? We have seen the car commercials with the kids talking trash about their parents and how disconnected they are. They brag about the hundreds they have on their list, and the handful their parents have on theirs. While they are sitting in front of their mass media devices their parents are out and about at concerts or mountain biking. Now I am not going to say which method of social development is better, because I might be biased. I will say I have a large following on Facebook, but I would rather be hiking.

So this got me thinking on the layers of social structure we surround ourselves with. Some people use these layers like armor as they attempt to climb and claw up the social ladder. For some it is more important to have more friends then it is to have a good friend. Others need to have their family or tribe in a more manageable size. This got me thinking about the purpose of the various layers of social structure. I know we talked about the degrees of love, but this is a bit more simplistic.

There are the mass friends. These are the people you may or may not have met but you have developed a relationship with in one form or another. These are the people that may come over for a party if they can geo-locate with a degree of convenience. Which describes the level of commitment rather simply. Your exchange between them is for entertainment. You are in a mutually beneficial exchange that breaks the monotony in your life.

On the other degree there are the closer group of friends. These are those handful that are about you like a swarm or pack when ever you go out. There are very interesting social dynamics in these tight knit groups that are interesting to watch. You can also see the caliber of the persons in the group by watching the group as a whole, and then selecting one individual from the group. Watching the change in the person away from the group can tell you what the group has to offer, and how tight that group really is. If you see a man in a group of friends that exchange beers, are boisterous and vocal, then one or two of them alone are reserved and quiet, might show you that need for real strength for those individuals. The group offers strength in numbers and therefore placates their ego. Low self esteem is a bitch huh.

This social acceptance inflation of the ego does help esteem, but people then miss the point of self esteem. The key work being SELF. It does not come from these social groups, it comes from a conscience choice on your behalf to feel good about yourSELF. When you see people that get that, the social groups are more relaxed. The hierarchy is not as apparent. These are the groups I enjoy. People who get together because of shared interest but will still engage in the same interest outside of the group, because it holds value without the need of external validation.

That is the whole thing about these rites of passage, they serve two purposes. They offer validation for those that need that external validation. Those that need praise for themselves and internalize accomplishments. Then there are those that need the milestone markers to gauge self development. They also show a deeper level of social acceptance building a stronger bond with the family social group.

Yeah I know this was a bit like a drunk driver swerving on the highway. This though is my train of thought. I think straight tracks make the trip faster, and that sucks. The journey is the point not the destination, or we would all be dead seconds after we where born.

Monday, July 25, 2011

What do you mean I have to pay for this?

First off let me say happy Monday to all you wayward travelers. Its the start of a new week, and the day I go get my schedule for college. Yeah its been a few years but I am thinking a brick and mortar school is going to do me some good. So I am actually excited about this. For the rest of you I hope your Monday works out to be as rewarding.

You know that is how I measure my actions by the way. It is also half of my simple life philosophy. What I mean by the that is I decide on what adventure I am going to have based on risk and reward. Also not matter how it turns out I believe from the first step on you need to understand your responsibility for your actions. I think people would be better served to understand those two simple things and how they interact with their life.

Good bad or indifferent responsibility is a huge part of measuring a person. It is also an involuntary action. There are few things you can do to cover your responsibility. The most a shifty person could hope to do is shirk their responsibility. However the responsibility is always easy to trace. Accepting responsibility is a good way to measure a person, at least in my opinion. Owning your own issues and taking your praise.

The second half of the equation is the risk reward formula. I give this pause in all of my actions. I think seriously about the consequences of my actions, and if the reward exceeds the worst possible outcome. I think to many people focus on the reward and ignore the consequences they do not want to deal with. Most people are also delusional pansies though.

Lets break this down Barney style so all the kiddies understand this. I am going talk about one of my favorite subjects, sex. Most people fixate on the act of sex and that wonderful three second orgasm. I love sex, I think it can be a great shared experience. I think about the varied degrees of intimacy. I too like the way it makes me feel and that release of the orgasm. The difference is I think of all the things and aspects of it before I even thought about sexual activity.

Every time you have sex you run the risk of an STD sure, I mean they suck and AIDs can kill you. Most people think about that but forget the whole purpose of sex int he first place. Reproductive organs are called reproductive organs becasue they are there to reproduce. That means you must give serious thought to every time you have sex it could also result in a child.

Granted there are ways to correct a pregnancy but there are people out there that do not agree with those methods. Also as a father I kind of dig the idea. So that does not scare me, but it is a responsibility. However think about how long it took you to get out of your parents hair? It can be a task if you are not ready for it, but even then children can be there own reward.

So think about your responsibilities. Truly give thought to the risk and the rewards of what you do, and do not lie to yourself about it. Don't lie to yourself because all you will do is end up with something in your lap you tried to hide from yourself. Good or bad you get what you get and you need to accept that. Its not your daddy's fault, or thanks to your mom. You have your big boy pants on and can make your own choices.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The pulpit,..?

Today is Sunday. I am not a religious man, so it has been a bit since I have stepped foot in a church. I am a spiritual man and I do believe their is a difference. I think its important where people get their validation. That being said I am going to preach a bit this Sunday. I am going to preach in a way that is life affirming, and gets you to ask yourself questions. These are questions only you can answer. These are things only you can do something about.

You see I have issues with where our culture is as a whole today. I see a huge level of apathy, and stupidity. This is a dangerous combo. Our priorities have shifted in such a way that this is also becoming visible to the world. Let us look at a few parts of our culture and see what I see in them, and then you can tell me what you see in them.

Last week on television the number one show was the women world cup. America versus Japan, which I can see. It was an event, the super bowl of women's soccer. The second highest show was Pawn Stars. According to one rating site Sponge Bob square pants rounded out the top twenty five with seven episodes taking spots. You can see the chart here.

Yesterday I watched my Facebook page erupt with condolences for Amy Winehouse and her family. Amy Winehouse was a pop star that was battling addiction for several years now. I am not saying her death was any less then another, but I am also saying it was expected, yet in one hour I saw thirty seven status updates concerning here. Two of those updates where local news stations. One of the news stations had over ninety comments in an hour. Yet over ninety people died in Norway and I only saw three status updates about that, and about four minutes on the local news total for the week.

What is it that has us watching Sponge Bob enough to fill up nine slots out of twenty five in a week where so much is going on? What is it that we as a people are more concerned with the death of a strung out addict pop star than those of eighty children killed by a right wing fundamentalist dressed as a cop? Since when did entertainment supersede social awareness?

You see we as a people have a fixation on our pop stars and media icons, to a point that if somebody tries hard enough they can build enough false celebrity that they actually become a celebrity (Paris Hilton). We as a people seem to think it is more important to see what they are doing, and how destructive their lives are. So we feed the need these attention whores have. They get a negative feed back loop, and we can't seem to look away. We killed Amy Winehouse or at least we helped. Is that why we are so interested in her death?

Wouldn't it be nice for their mental health and ours if they did not become a walking reality show? If the expectation of their entertainment value did not overlap the bounds of their trade? Athletes only interested us when they where on the field, actors on the screen, or singers on the stage. Yet for some reason we think that some cracked out junkie that happened to have the genetic fortune to have a good voice is going to some how hold a golden nugget of social redemption and we look at these icons for moral direction or life affirming wisdom.

We are a consumer culture and that is not just in our hard goods. We consume ever damn thing around us without regard. We are blind in our gluttony. We demand the monkey dances for us and we consume the lives of our entertainers. We like our sacrifices fast, cheap, easy and tasty. The best marinade seems to be the tears of the victim. Salty sweet. We carry so much over into all aspects of our lives and we can not find balance.

Extremism is extremism. If you are a Jihadist moron fighting the cause of the great pedophile, the hoarder in their junk filed hovel, the typical mass media spoon feed mind numb homicidal asshole, or the right wing blind subhuman ass hat in a cop suit sending his message out by killing children, you still suck. Extremes rarely find balance. The only thing they find is pain and suffering. Yet we celebrate those traits in us and in others.

So if you seek external validation look no further then joining your next reality TV series. Look no further then living vicariously through the eyes of the next pop star icon that is on the block to be consumed. On that note why couldn't you all just eat up Justin Bieber, I mean really what a waste of space there. At least Amy Winehouse had a voice and better hair. You can keep looking for this external validation, or you can grow the fuck up and validate yourself. You can let go of the extremes and stop being a tool.

Stop fucking rubber necking and wrapping yourself up in the Jerry Springer syndrome. You know that feeling you get from watching that show or the cornucopia of other shows that maybe your life is not that bad because it does not suck nearly as bad as the others. Just because somebody else is suffering a great tragedy does not mean you life is not tragic. Most are just a tragic waste.

It all boils down to responsibility, personal responsibility. When you are not only accountable for your own actions, but you are all you need to hold yourself accountable for those actions then all that celebrity bullshit does not matter. Your hero's actually have more weight and are closer to home. So fuck America's got Talent, lets watch what really matters and take care of our focus.

Its just said to me that more people can tell me how they voted for So You Think You Can Dance, yet they can't tell me one percent of the voting record of the last elected official they voted for. The same people can tell you how much money some icon whiny attention whore spent on their last car, house, or shoe shopping spree, but they can't tell you why there is an argument over the debt ceiling. Self indulged consumers. Obese cows sitting on the couch demanding the world feed our need like over stuffed children. I say get up and go play outside, go play outside your comfort zone and plug into the world. Validate yourself, and become aware of what is really going on.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Star Spangled Man

That is right ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, you are in for a treat. I am actually writing on a Saturday. Why the hell would I be doing this? I know you are asking yourself what have we done too deserve this? What would draw this humble writer wanna be out of his shell on the sacred weekend? Well the answer is simple, it was not you dear reader. It is for one person in particular, and that certain someone is fictitious.

Captain America go see it. Seriously. Its a good movie, great story, and well done. Yep I am writing a movie review, but as you that have been here since the beginning you know there is is going to be a little something more. I am not going to break down the masterful movie magic that was unleashed this weekend, I will let you make up your own mind. Go see it. I am not going to break down the masterful storytelling, I am going to tell you to go see it. I am going to say that this movie spoke to me much more then the one about the whiny British kid. I enjoyed that movie too, but the Captain stole my vote for the best summer movie.

The reasons behind this is much deeper. While there are many potter heads out there that where touched by the serious of books, I was a comic book geek all of my life. I have a strange contrast of the three characters I have followed with devotion. Deadpool the merc with the mouth was appealing to me because of his unbridled wild side. The fourth wall violation, and dark humor call to me. Spiderman is the geek done good, and also a wise cracking class clown that evolved into a real true hero.

Captain America though, was always the guy I wanted to be. He would sacrifice everything except his morality. He was and always will be the guy I measure myself against. He is outspoken. He stands up for the ideals of our country. His politics are simple, read the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence and you will know where he stands. He may not agree with you, but he will fight and sacrifice all that is in his being to let you be you. Personal freedoms carried more weight to him then fame, money, power, or lust. He could have been anything he wanted, President even, but in the end he just wanted to preserve what was right with America. He also had no desire to be in control. He was a natural leader, but could assume the role of a team member when he was not meant to lead. He was awesome, powerful, righteous, just, but more important Steve Rogers was also kind and humble.

This movie really captures all of what I admired about Captain America. Though he was gifted great power, he was always that little guy in his heart. The tagline that I think sums up Steve Rogers is when he was asked about why he didn't run away from a fight, when he got his ass beat all the time. He stated simply "When you start running, when do you stop?" or something like that. The only issue with the movie is the short condensed war. He fought through most of world war two, yet that summarized it in a few short hours. It was only his battle with Hydra and the infamous Red Skull.

There was a lot more there, but I understand this was a origin movie that is leading to the Avengers. Yes Captain America, was one of the first Avengers. He was the natural leader of the group, even with the ego of Tony Stark, the god status of Thor, the unbridled rage of the Hulk. Even with all of that, he was the clear leader. The reason for this is he lead by example. All in all he was a good man. He could and would use violence to resolve conflict, but he never sacrificed his principles. He is that perfect example of what I described in my previous blog.

In the comics the struggle in the last decade sums up the cast off the perfect soldier. Captain America resumed his role as a hero and soldier after he returned from his frozen grave, but Steve Rogers never quite fit back into this modern world. His lack of the natural shift of morality with generations growth, was apparent to him. His struggle though was mediated by the facts he knew and carried in his heart. Right is right no matter what year it is, or what language you speak. These are not individual truths, but universal truths. It is not the right that you feel when you find your spiritual path, its not those personal rights that others assume are right for the world. He is understood those truths that our founding fathers stated where self evident.

So watch the movie. Read the books. Admire. To me is he the ultimate servant leader. He understands personal justice. He knows that if something is worth fighting for yu fight for it. With that I will leave you with a few quotes that get to the heart of the character;

"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree besides the river of truth, and tell the whole world----No you move."

"I'm loyal to nothing, General...except the dream"

"Do you actually think the fact that you know how to program a computer makes you more of a human being than me? That I'm out of touch because I don't know what you know? I know what freedom is. I know what it feels like to fight for it and I know what it costs to have it. You know compromise."
◦To Tony Stark, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. , Civil War: The Confession

"For in a republic, who is "the Country"? Is it the government which is for the moment in the saddle? Why, the government is merely a temporary servant: it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. It's function is to obey orders, not originate them. Who, then is the country? Is it the newspaper? Is it the pulpit? Why, these are mere parts of the country, not the whole of it, they have not command, they have only their little share in the command. In a monarchy, the king and his family are the country: In a republic it is the common voice of the people each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak. It is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of pulpit, press, government, or the empty catchphrases of politicians. Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide it against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may. If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have your duty by yourself and by your country. Hold up your head. You have nothing to be ashamed of"

"Captain America is not here to lead the country. I'm here to serve it. If I'm a captain, then I'm a soldier. Not of any military branch, but of the American people. Years ago, in simpler times, this suit and this shield were created as a symbol to he lp make America the land it's supposed to be... to help it realize its destiny. Ricocheting from super-villain duel to super-villain duel doesn't always serve that purpose. There's a difference between fighting against evil and fighting for the common good. I'm not always able to choose my battles... but effective immediately, I'm going to make an effort to choose the battles that matter. Battles against injustice, against cynicism, against intolerance. I will still serve with the Avengers. I will continue to defend this nation from any and all threats it may face. But as of today, I am not a "super hero." Now and forevermore, I am a man of the people. Together, you and I will identify and confront America's problems. Together, we will figure out what we are and what we can be. Together, we will define the American Dream and make it an American reality."

Friday, July 22, 2011

I get it, no really I get it, not that often but I get it.

I understand that I am a walking contradiction. I think the reason for this is that I know the world is not drawn on absolutes. I understand that I am the center of my own universe, and people perceive that as arrogance. Yet I have spent my life doing all I can for others along the way. I am healer, and a warrior. I am a lover and a fighter. I am many things, and at the same time nothing. I understand that to me and my universe I am important. I also understand that in the cosmos I am a speck of matter on a large bit of balled matter spinning around a mass of burning matter that is not unique in the infinite void of the physical universe.

I give some time to the point of self absolution. I have turned a wrench for more hours with others then I have for myself. I ask nothing in return, and often do not receive praise very well. Though I find myself there often, I really have no desire to be the center of attention. I fear the spot light like a vampire fears the sun. I do know my resume though. I know what I have accomplished with my life. I am not a great self promoter though. I actually find myself mocking those that do. I will help all that I can, but do not ask for help from anyone else.

I have recently been very aware of the world around me, and have lost a trait that has helped me hang on the train. The train that is society. I have lost my tolerance. I have issues that I didn't have before. I see people do mean things to people and I have trouble ignoring them or putting my thoughts back in my head. I have my standards, and as my wife pointed out not many people can live up to them. In that I could go with the social norm and lower my standards or not hold others up to them. Or I can do my thing and go with quality instead of quantity.

In this I am making an effort to do something I have not done in a long time, and that is take care of myself. I have made other peoples issues my problem for a long time. I have shared issues with others, but then get spat on when I share mine with them. No longer. I am also trying to do what is right by me, and in doing so I find it easier to do right by others.

I can not tolerate spiteful people. I can not tolerate lazy people that work hard at taking theirs from the hands of others. I can not condone acts of malice even if they are directed at people I do not know.

Recently I had someone tell me that they are afraid to talk to me. They where afraid of how I would react. This was someone I care very deeply for. I understood what they where saying, but at the same time if you knew how I would react and where afraid of that reaction then you know there is a problem. Maybe that is a sign of compatibility? Maybe that is you telling yourself something that maybe you don't want to hear. I speak my mind. I speak my heart. With some that are not ready I bite my tongue. However I will say if you do not want to hear whats in my heart, maybe just maybe that is not what you want after all.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Yams and sweet potatoes who cares.

Lost in thought my mind has been racing the last few days. I have gone through spectrum of rage and betrayal to the extremes of self doubt. I mean who are these people to question my sanity and control over my emotions. Who are these people to lay an assault upon those I call family. Who are these others that are part of my social compatriots to tell me that I am over the top, and make them feel uncomfortable. Why are these people who not a few days before where fanning the flames of apparently unfetter wrath, now do not like the heat? Is my rage that wanton, and consuming that it is in control of me? Am I really this beast to be feared and only brought out when needed, then quickly put away. I am too be stored for controlled use and then cast off when no longer needed?

I can assure though that I am in control of my higher cognitive functions. I can assure that while I am able to express my rage, my rage is not in control of me or my actions. However I would argue that it cold logic that drives my motives, and that is not what troubles people. I think what troubles people is something else entirely. This is the age old societal question of what to do with the soldier when the war is over. It is not because of the fear of the soldier turning on their master, but the fear of actually having to share in the moral weight of their actions.

Most people are inclined and will accept the rewards of others sacrifice. They will not object to abusing the freedom that their soldiers provide for them. They do not question the security. They do not question the protected trade lanes. They do not question their ability to express themselves on a corner. They accept that they are happy they do not have to worry about tanks rolling over them in Tienanmen Square. They like the voice that they are afforded. They know that Democracy is the worst form of government with the exception of all other forms of government.

The issue they have is the violence. They love what that violence, or threat of violence can provide for them. What they do not like is to dwell on the violence. They do not want to personify the violence. They do not want to know that the violence done on their behalf has a face. They do not want anger to shake up their tranquility or privilege. They just want their tranquility and privilege. It is that whole issue of the blanket of freedom that Jack Nicholas brought to our attention on that silver screen.

It is almost like the very concept of aggression is enough to turn someones stomach, and install a primal fear. Most people I know have never had to fight, I mean physically fight for anything in their life. They have never had to assault with great violence in order to secure something for themselves or family. That could be security, or the perception of security, none the less they have never really had to fight for anything. People talk about the struggle and fight they have offered through out their life, but they really had nothing to lose. They had their rights, their civility, and rarely was their life ever really in danger.

So when they see the passion and resolve and the deep heat of violent action it is abhorrent to them. It is hard for them to process, and they fear that primal need. They do not know what a real fight is, and they are afraid to see it. They do not want the knowledge of this great violence to take away their innocence. They just want to accept that what they have is provided and they do not want to understand how it is provided. Bad people go away. They do not want to think of the process that goes into making that bad person go away.

Their rights are protected and that is enough for most.

Then there are those rare few that have had to use their own action to enforce those liberties for the masses, or even for themselves. Those rare few that understand that there is action that creates this situation. They understand it is not an novel or video game. They understand that violence is all around us. It is woven into our very existence and way of life. They understand that they are feared. They understand that while people are threatened they are celebrated, but when the venom of splashes on them they can not interpret what it is, and immediately are repulsed by it.

There is a reason so few people are doers. It is not because the majority are lazy. I am sure that is part of that equation but its not the only part. The other part is people are happy to hold onto their innocence or their perceived innocence. They do not want to sacrifice it because it is not something you can undo. It is like virginity. Once it is gone its gone. You can't unscrew a light bulb and all that. I can understand that. I can understand not wanting to see it or have to deal with the objectionable behavior of violence.

I said I can understand it, but it does not mean I am going to hide my ability to use violence, aggression or the ability to do what needs to be done. It is part of who I am, and it was long before I joined the military. I see things that are wrong, and know that I must speak out against them, because others won't. I speak whats on my mind because I feel it is the only moral choice. If you sit by and watch someone have there liberties violated then you might as well light the damn fire yourself.

If you really abhor violence that much then ask yourself why you celebrate so much. You think you don't celebrate it or its results, look at the last three movies you watched. How many of them celebrated the use and positive influence of violence. Even in reluctant use of violence the results are celebrated. Hell Harry Potter was rejoiced when he finally killed he who should not be named. There was rage on both sides of that fight. It was all for good reasons though, and the mugols need not be exposed to the violence. They just get to enjoy the freedoms that violence provided.

Well this concept is a part of who I am. If you want to be a mugol, stay away from me. I am okay with fighting and being visible and vocal in that fight. It is what I do. It was what I know. I am not a virgin, and I do not want to go back. Just because you can not process the action I can perform it is not my issue. Thank you very much for reading this. I hope that it at least entertained you. I am a good dancing monkey. I will go back in the alley now.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I yam what I yam,..

Man oh man I have had some fun in my life, but nothing has bothered me as much as this next bit. You see with all the crap that is going on, and going around, I heard something that got me thinking. People seem to think there are two me's. They seem to think that the guy writing this is not the same guy that they see at festivals, house parties, and the like. Well here is the shocker. I am the same damn guy. I say this same stuff when I am out. I talk the same stuff face to face.

However it seems that people get more butt hurt when they read it. Maybe its because they actually have to use a thought process to soak up the words, and can't just discount me. Now instead of the words being ignored by social nuances and all the other distractions, they get it with even less of a filter on paper. Some people just can't handle that.

You see I am what you would call a colorful person. I am very forward. Why is this? Well the answer is simple. I know life is to short to dress it up and call it something its not. I know that we as the specks of matter we are in the great big universe are really nothing. We get what we take out of life, and the powers that be are not going to hand us shit. It is all over in the blink of that great cosmic eye, so why the hell should I waste my time on things that really do not matter at the end of the day.

What does matter to me is different then what appears to matter to most others. It is not because I am an immoral person, but rather I have discounted the morals I think are silly. The morals that I have kept I pump all that energy into. I also hat to break it to people, but tact is not a moral. Nor is it something that moves the cosmic balance. If you can say something with two words, why use twenty. If you can sum up your feelings with one word, why not. Fuck does nicely in most occasions if you can get the fuck over yourself and realize it is a word. It only has as much power as you want it too. It also does not have to be yelled every time you hear it.

The other things that I can do without in life are words with no meaning. If you say you envy something, why fucking envy it. If you got off your ass, and did something, maybe, just maybe you could have that something too. Nothing is free, you always pay for it some way. So stop looking for a hand out. You want something you go get it, you earn it, you take it, but you should never trust anything handed to you.

On the subject of the two me's, there are actually two levels of me. All in all they are the same guy, just at different speeds. There is the public speed, with all the people and stimulation that comes with that. Then there is the I am in my comfort zone safe at home with my wife me. One I rapid fire my thoughts and watch the room, the other I don't have much to say that hasn't been said. Either way I am the same guy.

The other thing that people seem to mistake that really gets to me about me is they think they know me based on what I do. If you are going to do that, make sure to measure what I have done. Sure I am medic, a healer. I am also a soldier. As a soldier I protect people. In this case I protect those in my charge. I do not seek violence out, but I can damn well dish it out when I need too. I am not a pacifist. That does not mean I am a browbeating cave monster that smashes the strange talking box. Just because I can do violence does not mean that is all I am capable of. Being aware of that remember I am not opposed to it either. I understand that sometimes it has a place, and some times it is just easier. How fast I go to my fist is determined by how tired I am of your crap.

While people seem to have this perception of me that I fly off the handle. Not the case. If I call you a juvenile fucktard windowlicking no talent ass clown, raised voice or not, there was genuine thought behind it. It means I really felt the need to express my opinion of you or an action in way that express's my true disdain. Some times telling people they are being stupid can be ignored if they have heard it enough. However if you scream at them that the best part of them ran down the crack of their mothers ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress, they get the damn point.

You want too get to know me, try getting to know yourself. Start being honest with yourself, and then be honest with the world. Listen to what I am saying and how I am saying it. I can yell. People do hear me. Its when you can't hear me that you need to worry. If I stop talking that means I have figured out that words are not going to resolve our situation. You want to get to know me, tell me why you want to get to know me. Then maybe we can get to know each other.

If I count you amongst my friends that is a good thing, but if you ever get as far as being family then you will see the real me. This is the guy that will not let you go out with spinach in your teeth. This is the guy that will tell you his heart, and you know its my truth. This is also the guy that will help you stay off the smacktard road and well away from stupid. This is the guy that will move heaven and earth if need be. This is not only the guy the could and would kill for you, but the guy that would live for you. Its so much easier to die for someone, that's giving up. Living for someone is some Diehard Bruce Willis shit, and those in the way best tremble.

To get to that point where I want to talk to you you need to understand what it means to be selflessly selfish. You need to know that you are only as important as you think you are. You need to understand that words only have as much power as you let them have. You need to understand that perception is reality. If YOUR perception sucks, so does your reality, and that is not my fault. You own that shit. I will help you put your load down, but you need to carry what you don't sit down.

Life is too short to spend it fucking playing games. Speak your heart or shut the fuck up. If you don't like what I have to say, you don't have to get closer to me. I am not turning my brain off to pacify anyone. If you take it all to heart good for you, if you let it slow you down, well that is your problem not mine. If you don't get this now, you probably never will. I yam what I yam and dats all dat I yam.

Forgot to name this one,..

Today its kind of hard to think about what to write about. I am doing my best to not write about people that piss me off. So I was thinking about writing something about something else that pisses me off. There are a lot of things that piss me off. So that is what I decided to write about. Why is it that I get pissed off at things.

I want to start this off by asking a few questions of the people that do not allow themselves to get angry. What is wrong with being angry? What is wrong with expressing emotions? You know more people into trouble over the more "positive" emotions. Love causes more trouble in our day to day life then anger ever could. So why do you deny anger? Also anger if contained has a tendency to blow up like a Peter North money shot. Then it is all over you face and all over the place and not easy to control.

Anger gets a bad rap as a negative emotion. People are afraid of anger. Anger can turn into hatred, and it can consume people. Well love does the same shit and if that is not caught you turn into a stalker. More people have lost houses over love then anger, yet we encourage love to run around all stupid happy. We have babies having babies because of our cultural fascination with love. Love is not what keeps your kids in line, its a swat on the ass. So where do you think that comes from?

I get angry rather easily, the reason for this, I am not afraid of my anger. I do not let it control me. Even if people think it does, I can assure you there is some deep rational, and even calculating thought behind my anger. I freely express my anger so it does not sneak in one day and grab a hold of me. There are so many things in this world that are worth getting angry over, just as many if not more then things you can express love towards.

The trick is just like anything else is to moderate, monitor and control anger. Then it is your tool. I know I have talked about this before, but apparently people like to ask questions without reading other blogs, because they are lazy, and while that makes me angry, I control my anger. I address those children and instead of saying look back and read more, I write more. I am not angry because they made me write or gave me a subject. I am angry because they are the norm. So many lazy bitches out there. So see its okay to be angry if you know how or why.

I don't trust people that do not get angry, or I can say I don't respect them. Why is that? Well its simple, if they are not angry they are not paying attention. Politics, religions, global or even local news, modern media, North Korea, China, there are so many things out there just waiting to piss you off. If you actually get involved in life, instead of immersing yourself into denial, you will find anger a willful companion in life. Train it, and don't give into the Green Machine lying in your heart. Bruce Banner was an asshole. You can experience anger without becoming a total asshole, I just like being an asshole. Its the opposite of shit, it actually keeps the fly's away.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Clear as mud.

noun \ˈbu̇-lē, ˈbə-\
plural bullies
Definition of BULLY
archaic a : sweetheart b : a fine chap
a : a blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker b : pimp
: a hired ruffian
Origin of BULLY
probably from Middle Dutch boele lover; akin to Middle Low German bōle lover, Middle High German buole
First Known Use: 1538

Interesting huh? The origin on the word bully is romantic? Why am I putting this up here? Well its simple I gave this some thought. What defines the act of being a bully? Bullying is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen according to another site. I think this is interesting and lately this has been a buzz word in the news. Bully's are a popular target for the masses, and people get all up in arms over them. They say they should not be tolerated, and they get all aggressive when the punishment of the bully is dealt out.

We do this a lot. We don't think before we act. I have even been accused of this. Well I say if you want to see why people get upset you can look at the end results of an act. If the final part of your act or choice results in something bad for somebody else, you did something bad. I can also say that nine times out of ten those that claim their was no malice in their acts are liars, the one out of the nine is more dangerous, they are a sociopath. I know there are times when I do indeed fly off the handle, but I like to think of it as acting quickly.

Too many people I know NEVER act. The react when they have to, and if they can get away with it they never do a thing that requires effort or commitment. This is why bully is the watch word. We do nothing, we do not act, until its to late. If you force someone out of a job, we react. When somebody is embarrassed at school we let it go until they try to kill themselves. Then we react. We wait for extremes and we never look at the source of an issue.

I define a bully as someone that uses force to intimidate, under the threat of physical violence, or harm. They do this for entertainment to boost their ego. They are weak and do not want people to know they are. So they transfer their weakness on to others. Why do I think this, well what do they tell us when we ask how to deal with a bully, you stand up to them right? So far in my life that has worked. They back down, but then you get accused of being a bully. Because we so love that word.

You want to stop bullies then you need to act, not react. We need to get it where it counts. We need to raise our children to understand that they are not a victim. We also need to stop rewarding them for being a victim. We need to teach the difference in positive attention and negative attention. It might help if we also teach them that they do not need attention and validation comes from within. We raise them to be strong so they are not targets for bullies or do not become bullies themselves.

There will be bullies, or at least people will always feel like they are being bullied if we keep raising people to think like and accept being a victim. Yeah I know this is going to piss people off. Not once but twice. They are gonna be made when they see what a bully is, and they are gonna be made when they see where they hold the power and responsibility. Yep we feed create and act as press agents to perceived bullies and victims. We give the victim lavish attention, and we give the bully attention as well. They soak it up and do not correct their behavior because we rewarded them in our own way.

I also say bully on those accusing me of being a bully or even a victim of a bully. First let me say I am not picking on someone using physical violence to feed my weak ego. I do not need validation from anyone. Did I say some harsh things about someone? Yep sure did. I also mean all of it. Those are my feelings, and how I feel. My opinion. So deal with it ass hats, its your choice if you want to follow my opinion. End results tell me who the bully is, but they are crying victim saying I don't have the full story.

I have enough of the story. You scared, insulted, and harassed someone out of a job. I don't think you are a bully either. I think you are a conniving little bitch. I will not attend a single group event that you are a part of. This is not a threat of physical violence. Its a statement of my resolve and expressing how I feel. I will not be friends with people that call you friend, why because I do believe birds of a feather flock together. I do not want friends that manipulate like you. Period. To easy right?

So lets look at that definition of bully again and see what is really going on here? You know maybe the stupid delusional one could say I was a bully if the perceived threat of death to her and her unborn spawn? She might have had a case if the threat was real and not all in her crazy little head. I think people confuse this with my ability to commit violence. Just because I can, does not mean you are worth it.

After all this writing I am hoping I have confused you all further. I hope you understand this is a blog. Its not a fact sheet. Its me talking about how I feel. Its basically a journal shared with the world, and should never be taken as the gospel. If you find something good in here use it, but do not reference it as the perfect source. If you use it to fuel your social drama good for you, now fuck off. I am tired of it. You can lie all you want. I am not paying anymore attention to you or your goof troop.

Monday, July 18, 2011

From the ash you arise pretty bird,.. ow that burns.

Recent events have boiled over and tainted my blog. Stupid flowed over into my life, and rely pissed me off. However today I am renewed. I am ready to face the day. Why is that? Well that is because the best revenge is living well after all. Today is a great step in that path. You see most of these people struggle more then normal or smart people do. They make as much as normal people but they manage their funds as poorly as they handle their lives. One of them held a bake sale to cover their rent. While I appreciate that they didn't beg or pan handle like some other con artist I know, it still gives you a great look into there insight.

So how does one move on, live a better life, and escape the grasp of stupid? Well that is simple, you stop being stupid. You get smart. Today is another step on the path of getting smart. Today I have orientation for college,.. again. Yep I am going back to a brick and mortar college. I am also starting on a new educational path, so orientation is required. No hard sciences. No mathematics. Nope, not going to go the practical number crunching fact finding syllabi that I have enjoyed my whole life. Nope this is the time for me to study liberal arts.

Yep I is getting me and education in the writing stuff. I am is gonna learns me sum grammar. Hookt un fonix wurkt fer mee. I am taking that first physical step on my path of becoming a better writer. I am going for that paper that says I am supposed to be good at it. Then on to better things with my life from there. I am going to become a grammar Nazi and try to kick my dependency on spell check. Its like rehab for stupid.

Aside from that this whole ordeal has taught me something about community though. People are talking about a rift, and lines being drawn, and you know what? They are right. The lines are being drawn and I and can tell you where those lines are. It is not about this issue at all, because there will always be stupid people ready to try and screw people. No this is about definitions of community.

One side sees community as a group of people with similar ideas meant to support them in their life. These are the ones that ask what is in it for them, and pass lip service to the concept as long as it is keeping them fed and happy. They only refer to the community when the need something, might need something, or want to draw attention to themselves. These are you are your welfare grabbing, dirty house living, social sponges that entertain themselves with drama.

The other side is those that believe that community is a symbiotic relation. These are the people that are individuals but also understand the strength and support an extended family has to offer. They openly do things for those in their community with no request for help for themselves. These are the people that boost their friends up, rather then get jealous and tear them down. These are the people that understand that if your neighbor paints his house, it helps make the whole neighborhood better. I like this community and do my best to keep it strong.

So on this day two things have risen from the ash. The first is my inner student. A new career path is open before me and it is exciting. I also get to stare at hot little college students with short skirts and tight shirts for a bit, so win win there. The other is a concept of Community. The ash of selfish behavior sloughing off on one side, and the real community of people with support and helping hands on the other. One side seeks and needs validation from others, and only calls when they need help. The other validates others over themselves, and calls out to those needing help. That is a beautiful thing.

So in that I say piss off douche nozzles. I am happy. I am healthy. I am going to improve my life and give you so many more reasons to hate me. I am going to be the best I can, and I am going to help those I can in my community. I know you are going to hate me more because I am not giving you a hand out or offering you that support. I know you are going to hate me because me and mine are better off then you, so much better then you, and so much happier then you. You can't tear this down.

This is how we win the war on stupid. We live better. We discount them. We call them out. We improve ourselves. We improve our community. We love ourselves. We validate ourselves. We do not seek something becasue someone else has it, we seek what improves our lives. We do this by not tolerating that type of childish and selfish behavior. We do this by improving ourselves. Man I am excited to go to school and wash some more stupid off me.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Responsibilty,.. what the hell is that?

Okay people I want to make something perfectly clear. I am strong minded, strong willed person. Yes I have a wife. I have a family. I have great friends. I have a strong sense of community. However I am still an individual. I speak my mind. I speak my heart. I tell people what I think of them when I need too. If you do not want to hear something don't ask me about it. If you look fat in jeans, I am going to tell you that running a few miles might make them look better. If you are being a window licking smacktard, that is exactly what I am going to tell you.

Saying that I want you to understand that this is my voice. These are my thoughts. This is who I am. While I do share my life with people that I love, like my wife. I am not her mouth piece. While I will speak out for my friends I do not speak for my friends. My opinion and my decisions are mine. They do not belong to anybody else.

Why am I sharing this with you? Its simple. Smart people have probably already figured it out. I stand behind what I say. Going to my wife or friends and telling them to put a lease on me or a muzzle lets me knwo you have no fucking clue how the real world works. These are my words I own them. If you have a problem with what I say, take it up with me. If not shut your cock holster.

If I have a problem with you, you know it. I address you. I let people know how I feel. I do not ask your friends or family to reign you in. I might ask them if you are going to be at an event they invited me too, and then I will decide on my own if I want to attend. I wear big boy pants. I stand up fine on my own.

I choose to let certain people in my life because they make my life better, and I walk my path with them. They do not NEED me, and I do not NEED them. A few years into this life my mother weened me off the tit. A few years later I was broken of grabbing the skirt hem. I know how to walk on my own, and I know how to talk on my own. I do not talk in shadows. I do not hide my feelings. I also do not let my feeling hide or control me.

You can talk to my wife about me. You can talk to my friends about me. Asking them to curb me though is retarded. If they even tried they know that they would not be my friends. I do not attempt to censor or control my friends. Why? Because they are my friends, not my allies. I form bonds not alliances. I do not have pets, and I expect they think the same way I do about that.

With that out there, do my friends ever tell me to chill? Sure they do, but not because some spineless twit got their feelings hurt. They have their own voice and they are free to use it around me. I will do the same for them. If I have spinach in my teeth I expect my wife to say something before we go out. I would do the same for her. That is what people do when they love each other.

To sum it up in case its not clear. I own my actions. I own my words. If you have issues with them, take them up with ME. Not my wife. Not my friends. Not my family. If you don't have the spine to do it, then maybe its not worth being said. If you are afraid of the reaction to the words you want to say, maybe they are not that important to you. If you are not willing to face the consequences to your actions then maybe you shouldn't engage in those actions.

Why did you do this to me?

Alright the last few days I have had record hits on my blog. It seems that people really like to know what juicy tid bits are going on in other peoples lives. I also want to point out that those hits I got were probably those morons that totally miss the point and try ever so hard to rally behind someone that they think is their friend. First I want to point out that the young lady that had me so pissed off referred to her friendships as alliances. Who the fuck does that. This is life not Survivor or some other reality show.

So this got my gears turning and made me think some thoughts I would share with you. Maybe just maybe people are getting trained to think that life is like those reality shows? I mean reality is in their name right, so they have to be real? Life is all about getting ratings right? So you can sell primo space to advertising right? You have to build alliances because you only have to deal with people during commercial breaks.

Seriously people, we are so wrapped up in this false reality that we are letting it dictate our real life. The balloon boy ass hat is back in the news again. We buy the papers with the latest word on Octomom. We wonder who is now giving Brittany the spear. (hmm think drama might be linked to that name?) They are rewarded just like the other people in my previous blogs because we give them the attention they crave.

Those of us that get sick of hearing what starlet is flashing her shaved sausage wallet to paparazzi, who knocked up who and then adopted nineteen children for their sweat shop, or who got a hole in one then had a great golf game the next day, what do we do? We change the channel. We do not state to people we are fucking tired of gossip being news. How about the news reports the fucking news? Hows that for a concept.

If they do that then these no talent ass clowns that strive for attention will hopefully starve or maybe just maybe do something that might actually be news worthy. Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it also be great if we actually found decent human behavior entertaining? No we celebrate deceit with all the cut throat reality shows, desperate housewives, and the like. You know its because of one show I hate New Jersey. Well that show helped at least, if you have ever been to Jersey you might understand that it didn't need a lot of help.

So what do we do to make this world a better place? How about we mind our business. We hold ourselves accountable. We stop blaming the world for all our woes and we own them ourselves. We stop conniving against people. We call people out when they are being retarded or not willing to hold themselves accountable. We actually grow the fuck up. We become parent to those that won't and we take a page from the reality shows. We teach people by example and repetition. Its about time people are help accountable for the choices they make. Maybe they might start thinking about it, and that is the biggest step away from stupid.

So stop blaming others for what you have done. If you did something, lets say like holding funds because someone told you too, then its your choice to do so. If it smells like drama notice the scent, social drama and bullshit smell pretty similar. So own your own shit people and stop being stupid, and grow the fuck up.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Salvo of stupidity.

Wow, I love the divisions that developed after my blog yesterday. You can see a persons true colors. I am also seeing what is important to people. I heard she has done nothing to me. Oh sure I have seen what so and so has done to somebody else, but they brought me cookies. It was all about self. They did not do something to them directly, or they did something for them so it outweighs what they did to other people.

What disturbs me in this whole issue is the unique versions and softer approaches to the facts. I am going to say that the results should be the focus if you want to find the truth. A lady who dedicated several years of her life to a group that has done good things for good people in the community stepped down. I know personally so many family's that hit hard times that she helped out. I have seen the record. The fact is she walked away from it, and she walked away hurt.

Now lets break down why people have to be so mean to other people. Lets see if anybody repost this blog? This lady helped a lot of people, but could not help all the people. So she did what those of us in medicine call triage. She helped those she could and needed it most. She helped kids over adults, and she made calls as to who got the help and who put themselves firmly where they are. So naturally if you needed money, but had no kids and a full liquor cabinet she must be embezzling because you didn't get the help you wanted.

You see we are slowly developing into a culture of whiny selfish kids. We are so into me that we are willing to sacrifice others to make our lifes better. We try to do creative things for ourselves and promote them. For example we hold bake sales to pay our rent because we lack the responsibility to manage our money. We blame everyone but ourselves for it. We see what others have and rather then get off our fat asses and work for it ourselves, we put great effort into tearing others down.

We tolerate this behavior in others even if we do not exhibit it ourselves. We learn that people whisper sweet words in our ears and we accept that what they did was not so bad. People lets look at something here. You see those people that are sweet talkers and make friends quickly? You ever notice that they go through those friends just as fast? They do damage control so well and put a spin on everything they do? Do you not see anything wrong with that?

Personally I feel better being justified and doing what is in my heart, then having to justify what I did afterward. I know I have lost some contacts with all this, and I am okay with that. You see I look at friendship like I look at love, because that is what friendship is. Friendship is a degree or flavor or love. I love my wife. I do not need my wife though. She is the same way. We do not need each other, but it feels so good to share our lives with each other.

So in that I choose to share my life with my friends. I do not need them. I do not need there approval. I do not need their praise. This makes it feel so much better when I get them. So I do what I feel is right regardless of how people think of it. I do not need to put a spin on it, because my actions are exposed and raw. People talk about my harsh language and it gets the point across doesn't it? It is direct, its hard to twist, the meaning is clear. I do this because I have no reason to back pedal.

Now look at the other side of this argument. Stories change, people back pedal. They claim that I am over reacting. They try to say I am starting drama, and do their best to mask their efforts. End result she quit doing something that she has done for years because of you. You tell me what kind of person believes what ever spin you put on this? So stick your head in the sand and put up with that behavior, or stand up and feel how nice the sun is.

Just because I haven't in this one, its time for so harsh language. I say fuck your soft words. I say fuck your two faced nature. I say fuck your selfish motivation in all your deeds. I say fuck those false friends you make because you hide your true face. I say fuck your snide childish fat ass. I say fuck the lies. I say fuck the spin doctors. I say fuck all that is wrong with the world.

I am serious people. My tolerance for bullshit is low. So those of you that wish to continue to shovel it are going to get called out. If you can't say something about someone in the light and in a public forum then don't say it. I will continue to call you out. Those of you that use apathy and tolerate their behavior will also be called out. I am not putting up with any of the crap. Why should I settle for anything less in deciding on who I love. Somethings deserve compromise but this is not a part of your life that does.

Yes you can work for it, and make some hard choices. Yes you can get a group of real friends. These are the people that will drop what they are doing to help you when you need it, but also willing to tell you the things you need to hear. Yes men are not your friends, and sweet words are usually used to cover the smell of something foul. This is how you fight the stupid.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I declare war on stupid!

I am going to start this out by saying I am no saint. I am by no means the most moral man I know. Nor am I pure as the driven snow. I have my faults, I know them. I measure them. I do the best I can to be the best person I can be with every breath I can. I do this because my family and ancestors would expect nothing less of me. I have seen death. I have seen life. I have loved. I have hated. I have lived a pretty damn good life, and in doing so I can safely say I am no saint.

I can be very black and white in a very gray world at times. I have been accused of being crude. I love fast women, hot drinks, and red meat. I work hard when I need to, but if given the choice I would rather go camping. I doubt myself at times, and some times I let those doubts carry over to other people. I know my faults but there are some things that I can not abide in people. This is your chance to stop reading, move the hell on and walk away from this unscathed.

After this I am going to pour out some angry shit. Yep this is about to be a rant. Names have been changed because I will deal with these people face to face. I warn you though at the end of this, there will be something that will give you thought. At least it better give you thought. If not then this battle front is probably coming for you.

Not to long ago a self serving lady kicked a hornets nest into the middle of some people I call friends. Some of these people I even call family. In the process her little group poked and pried and tried to get my friends a riled up. Another member of her tribe took something I said out of context, and stated that she felt I threatened her and her unborn child. Now many people state clearly that knwo this bitch is crazy, and that her words are unfounded. Those that know me know that I could not care enough about this psycho princess to even want to go out of my way to kill her, or her child.

I will say that both the people on the other side of this apparently are attention starved and love to receive as much attention as they can. They slander, plot and crawl when ever they can so people will pay attention to them. Yet people still call them friends. They tolerate them though when they are around me they tell me they agree that the bitch is crazy, and that they did bad things. Yet they still find themselves over at their houses for dinner. Makes me wonder if they talk out of both sides of their mouths and if so, to what means?

Another man, if you can call him that, continues to plague on my community. Many in the community brush it off as unwarranted accusations. Yet many of them witness his lecherous behavior, have fallen victim to his cons, and even agreed with me in totality after I wrote a blog about him. What shocked me the most most that so many knew exactly who he was by name, without me naming him once. Yet they tolerate him, invite him out to community activities and offer visible support to him. Makes me wonder if they are yet again talking out of both sides of their mouths.

Now another event rears its head. A member of the previous tribe, one that stated I was a baby killer and needed some anger management, did something so despicable that I am shocked. I was almost, notice I said almost, speechless. This little soul whore, wormed her way into a group that was run by a real good friend of mine. I am not sure what her motivation was, and I really do not care. All I know is that she clawed and pried and got close to a good friend of mine. Then in dramatic fashion like a slut bitch cheer leader from every movie in the 80's, betrayed her. She made her so upset that she left a group that she ran for several years, that helped the community that I love so much.

Yet people rally around hands in the air in mock shock. Oh my that was a horrible thing to do they cry. They go on about how this was a cry for attention. They go on how horrible the act was. However I am waiting for the dust to settle. When the dust settles we will see the true character of those in my community. We will see how strong my tribe is. We will see what they are made of by what they do with this, and how they deal with the actions of this Prima Donna drama whore.

You see these people still seethe through our homes because we turn a blind eye to their behavior, because it is easy. We tolerate their outburst because it is so much easier to sit and watch then to stand up and do something. So they continue to do what they want, and get what they want out of life because we as a people do not hold them accountable for what they do. I will not any longer though. I can't.

I can not let these people go on hurting those around me. I can not let them continue to spread their poison in heart of the groups that I love so much. I have declared war on stupid. I will shine the light on them and force people to choose. They can let the cancer continue, if they wish, that is their right. However they will not do so with me or mine around. I will exile them, and all that choose to stand with them from my life. I will not tolerate this behavior any longer. I am not taking the moral high ground, but I will protect my family, my friends, and those I hold dear.

I have no right to claim righteousness, because I am not righteous myself. I am however going to say I am going to do all I can to protect my family from stupid. So if you are selfish conniving predator that was attention starved as a kid, you will not use mine as tools for you to get that. You will not use my family in ways that cause them hurt. I will shut you out so hard and so fast.

So this is part I give you something to chew on. How many times have you tolerated someone because you thought it wasn't your business? How often have you let stupid selfish people do mean things to people and did nothing to them for it? Apathy is their greatest protection, and how much have you let weave into your heart? Now are you willing to do something about it and start calling these people out on their bullshit? Or are you going to join the masses and bow your head in shame. Are you going to keep letting them run like a wild child through your home, or are you willing to put them in the corner? So where do you stand on the war on stupid?

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

I am going to start this blog with a disclaimer similar to one I put on my face book page. I will open up with saying I am not angry. This is not me yelling. I am not having a PTSD moment. I use harsh language becasue it gets to the point faster. I will belittle stupid people, not because it feeds my ego, but because they need it. These statements however are mostly observational. I am not against judgment, I am against being judgmental. There is a difference.

Now with that out of the way I am going to go onto the subject of today's blog. A good friend of mine, Jodi, inspired this train of thought. I will say that this is not about her though, but it was fueled by lazy moronic ass wipes out there. I have been exposed lately and thankfully I have had my vaccinations. Good thing too because this type of stupid spreads like herpes in a frat house.

Why is it that people are so happy to share their dreams and aspirations with you when ever you accomplish anything. I am not just talking about the one up game. I deal with that kind of moron with life experience. I have lived a full enough life that I call all of those jack offs out, and use the flashlight of truth on them. For example I knew a guy once that claimed to be retired from the military, claimed to have done some incredible things. Some of those claims where being a part of a special operations team, and isolation that lead to cannibalism. Yeah to easy to wave the bullshit flag there, but everyone else ate it up. (Pun intended) Needless to say after I started a query with him and probed, the veil of crap was thin, and he was exposed and does not bother me with those stories anymore.

No today we are going to talk about a different kind of laziness. We are going to talk about another brand of stupid. We are going to talk about a person that lies to themselves just to make you look less then you are. They not only like to tear people down, but they raise themselves on lies. Then if the planets align and they get what they claim to desire they destroy it so others can't have it, and they can go back to bitching about what they don't have because that is what makes them happy.

You see these people have a whole layer of hell that should and could be dedicated to them. These are those people that when you sit down saying this is what I accomplished today, and they start immediately tearing it down. They take your goals and make them seem small, and claim to be working towards a much more lofty goal. They talk you down and take away your pride. They do not really do anything though.

They are typically fat, bottom feeders, bitter, and chatty. They have actually done very little with their life, but they will always tell you what greatness they are on the verge of. This is a different kind of one upper because it is really hard to call them out on bullshit without the use of a time machine. They will tear you down, steal your spotlight with things they see for themselves in the future.

You tell them you got an A on a paper, they tell you they have nine job offers from fortune five hundred companies, waiting for them to graduate. You tell them you are going to have a baby, they tell everyone how twins run in their family. They have the best goals and aspirations, but you know damn well that this lazy asshole is not going to do a damn thing to work towards their dreams. They only share them with you, because they want to tear you down and take center stage from you. Their ego is directly linked to how much of your pride they can steal.

You can deal with them. The only way to effectively remove them though is to attack them directly and risk losing groups of friends. The most effective tool when dealing with this creature is to take the path of least resistance. Ignore the stupid a holes. Do not let them steal your thunder by ignoring their existence. The best revenge is living well, and eventually others will see them for who they are.

One can only hope that their dreams will indeed come true one day, and they move away. I like seeing people I do not value become victims of their own success. I get a simple joy from watching them choke on their own bullshit. I also like when the light bulb goes off over their head and they see just how much work is required to do something and they slide back into the deep dark hole from which they crawled from.

So with that being said if I share my dreams with you understand I have used my judgment and figure you are not a pride feeder. Do not be surprised though when somebody who is not a part of the conversation tries to chime in. Do not further your surprise when I attack them, rip put their throat and dance on the burning remnants of their soul. I have a low tolerance for bullshit. I am a soldier in the war on stupid.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tailcoats don't have shock absorbers

In my life I have accomplished a lot of things already. This is because I have trouble thinking like a sheep, and I rarely say no to something new. I think this is a great trait and its one of my personal favorites. If a person ever did anything for fun, I am up for trying it if the opportunity presents itself. I would even be willing to try something twice if the first time sucked, because I didn't do it right or my instructor sucked. Skydiving, spelunking, rock climbing, bungee jumping, open water sailing, and so much more.

I love to travel. I have stepped foot on every continent with the exception of Antarctica. I had the chance once, but passed, because it is to fucking cold there. I am the person that sleep with the AC on in the winter when I can, and it was stupid cold. Like I said I rarely say no, but I do when even my common sense decides to scream at me with logic.

Now on this next journey and career change, I am finding myself jumping off of a cliff from time to time. Trying to get a book published can be a scary thing, and very emotional. You send off a submission and you cringe a bit. It is like blindly finding a baby sitter for you child. You really have to relax some paranoia you have about trust. Now the next step is the rejection. Getting a generic rejection letter can be painful, saying you are not good enough for a personal address. However I will tell you it hurts more when they reject you flat out and make it personal.

Adventure is adventure though, and it rarely comes without bruises. Sometimes you get scars. However most times you get smiles. It is so worth the ride. I have been rewarded with some good stories to share. I have developed a sense of balance in my adventures. I truly believe this has made me a stronger person. These however are my adventures. These are my choices. This is who I am. I do not expect anyone else to get this. I do not expect anyone else to follow me on this roller coaster I call life. Well except maybe my wife, she is contractually obligated.

So that being said, if you are riding my coat tails, or at least trying to, stop bitching if you get a mouthful of dust. You have no right to complain if a mission fails, or ends in injury, when you are taking minimal risk. If you don't want to try it yourself, then be happy looking at my butt. The bigger the risk the bigger the reward, and if you can't deal with that stay on your couch eat your bon bons. More important do not judge me when you have done nothing with your life but collect dust.

There are a lot of human beings out there. The are just so busy being. Rocks are being too. Its easy. It doesn't take motivation, ambition or energy to be. I am a different species and I love it. I am a Human Doing. I do shit. I love doing things. I like to build things. I like to take things apart. I like to do so much. Its about life and life is a contact sport. It can be a team a sport. At the end of it all though it is an action event that requires you to participate to get the most out of it.

So walk up the buffet and take a bite of everything. Get involved and join a new species of man. Like the X-men we are no longer human beings, but something much much more. So don't bitch if you think I will carry you and you fall, get bruised or lose an eye. I am a Human Doing.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I did it my way,.. thanks Frank.

So today is Moon Day. This is my first official, it resembles work blog since my reincorporation into life down the hill. I love camping. I really do. I am looking forward to camping some more in about two weeks. In the interim though I will enjoy my indoor showers, fly free toilet, and big ass bed.

As I have returned to society with a freshly shaven face and resumed my role as a cog in the machine, I look to the future. Next weekend in the Army sponsored family event in some posh palace in Aspen. Mandatory fun, yea! However right after that I register for Denver Metro, and the path of learning this grammar stuff begins. So one week before I go back to college and gets all smarts and stuffs. I am gonna be a dirty old man on campus I would assume.

I will be focused. I will build my pack and we shall roam the halls. We will stake out our isles in the library. We will rule our spaces in the food courts. Others will cringe as they should, because that is nature. Yes oh yes I brought that with me down from the mountains. (insert evil grin here)

So the point of this exercise, my blog, is to build experience. To develop my skills as a writer. To teach me the discipline that is required to push out a novel even if I suffer from creative constipation. Right now I am read and reread each blog before I slam it into your cyber inbox. I do this to check what few grammar issues I can see, with my poor engrish skills. I also look for things that matter to me, like flow and content.

With each one I am offered many more suggestions as to how to make my blog more popular. Some of them are to link other blogs, websites, or places that might generate more traffic. The other is to add pictures. I have even been told that the format could help the flow, and by switching the fonts, colors, orientation throughout breaks it up and makes the experience more enjoyable.

That is awesome stuff really, but I say fuck it. I am not trying to be the great masked blogger. I want to be a writer, as in a writer of events. I wish to transcribe stories. I want to weave tales of woe, violence and dissidence that I can share with the world. I want somebody to load my work up on their nook or other device and read all that I wrote. Good, bad, or whatever, I just want people to read my work and think.

That being said, I can not think of one book that I read recently that had a hyper link, loads of pictures strewn through the text, or a hodge podge of fonts through out the book. So I am going to stay true to my style, and not ruin it with commercial flash. I will write my way, and save my pimping for outside the work.

I am now another twit on twitter, tweeting my twat out. I am on stumble upon. I link on facebook and ask others to do so as well. I pimp myself like the dirty whore I am. However I will try to keep the content of my work safe. I am like that dirty old whore that only does it to buy baby formula and hides it from their kids. I want my kids to have a better life and I drudge through the commercialism to do so. I am gonna dance on that pole until my baby gets through Harvard, or the heroin kills me.

So this blog has taken on a life of its own. It has become this pure episodic journey from my heart. It is not like my works of fiction being it is truth pure and simple. No fantasy here. It is not like my non fiction, because there is no driving purpose to help others improve themselves. This is just my mind vomit, you can look at it, pick out the chunky parts, or just spray them off the walk. It is mine. I offer no excuses. I share it with you though so that maybe people can understand me one day, and through that reach to be understood themselves. Other then that, its not that deep.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Absence makes the heart do something.

Well ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I have returned from my escape of the constraints of reality. I spent little more then a week in the mountains of Colorado. I can tell you with all the joy and wonder of a five year old boy that those mounds of rock can recharge your soul. You also get a firm look into the souls of others, and you can also find true measure of yourself. It is in mutual hardship that you find those things that make us great and nasty at the same time.

I know its Sunday, and I told myself that I must write on Monday through Friday. I am doing this as an experience building exercise, in order to develop as a writer. However I must also remember why I have a desire to write, and in that I am prepared to share this wonderful experience, and share the depths of which in effected me. I am not doing this to be selfish though, I am doing this because I hope that in sharing somebody somewhere might get something out of it.

So on the plus side I renewed my thirst for writing. In seeing both the good and the bad in the world around me, I measure the depth of the episode I wish to share. I also try so hard to look deeper at each and everything around me, or at the very least see it in a way I have never seen it before. In this I have a whole new group of experiences to share.

So on my hermitage to the hills, I saw rain. There where great bouts of thunder and lighting. I was not alone in this hallowed hills, and I loved seeing how others dealt with the light show that nature decided to share with us. Pink Floyd would be jealous. That was the thoughts of only a few of the souls who joined me on this journey. Most said, "Awe shit its raining, and that sucks."

We can look at the deeper part of all things and break them down, or we can just look at the surface and realize how much life sucks. Most people are happy looking at the surface and the warped reflection it offers of their life. Most people are of the awe shit variety. However there are those others that know that there is more too enjoy in every moment.

The rain makes the grass grow, and when it rained I did not get bit once by the infamous horse fly's. The lighting showed me shapes in the hills that I could not see with my flash light. It cooled me off. I was prepared with my poncho and walked through the rain from huddled masses around their fires. I was able to do so much more and as I moved through the rain unfettered. The thunder covered the bitching and moaning of the people around me. I slept like a baby pried of the tit. Man it was nice.

I also saw the balance that a true hedonist can enjoy. Its about enjoying the moment, not trying to dull yourself to the moment, or even focus on one moment over and over. If indulging your vices causes you to miss things, or just flat out ignore them, then you are probably a douche. Most people that drown themselves in pot, booze, or what ever other habit they have, typically do so with a high level of asshole. They think they have a right to cover you with nauseating smoke or try to talk over you with a slavering drooling gibber jabber.

I do not want to dull my senses to a point I am senseless. I choose too see what ever I can in what ever I can, so that I might find my muse hidden in a moment that others would miss. If you make the choice to ruin your life with excess that it not only self destructive but annoying, please do not do so in my presence. I am not one for watching people commit suicide, it usually leaves a mess that other people have to clean up.