Break a mirror get seven years bad luck right?

So I am writing my Friday blog now. This one might be a long one because I have crap to do tomorrow and I am heading up the hill to go camping for about a week and a half. Yep I am gonna go hide in the hills while the idiots light off fireworks and make drunken fools of themselves to celebrate something they don't understand. Most people do not grasp the concept of what they have in America. Most people do not have a clue as to what makes this country great.

People on both sides of the picture think that their ideas are the best, and are not willing to tolerate the ideals of others. To those on the right they want to bring the church into schools and dictate their beliefs as the correct ones. Another group did that, they are called the Taliban. The left wants to give everybody a level playing field and give everyone the basics of live free. So if they don't want to work they don't have too, and if they do want to work they can carry those that don't want to. That worked out great for the U.S.S.R.

Either way that is not a fight that is going to be one easy, or every I think. The reason being most people can't see past themselves except to look down on others. They spend more time tearing down what others do that is not like them, that they can not see the strength of diversity. They spend so much time trying to make the world fit into a rose colored concept they heard on what ever radio or tv show they watched, that they are blind to what the world is really like.

Utopia is a great concept, a boring concept, but great none the less. It will never work though because its against human nature. We are all different. Sure we have the same basic premise of biology, and maybe we have a twin walking around some where, but we are all different. Fingerprints, organ size, hair color, skin tone, neron pathways, and the physical list could go on and on. The point is we are all different in body, mind and soul.

So the only real way to fix things I think is to start where you can exact change. You start with yourself. You end with yourself, because at the end of the day that is all you can really effect change on. You can teach and suggest all you want, but the only way a person will take it on board is if they choose to on their own. The same goes for you. Only you can accept change. Only you can choose to learn something. Only you decide what persuasion can work on you.

That being said you need to become your role model. You need to strive to live the life you want to live. It is up to you to convince yourself that living up to your expectations is what you want to do. Is is you and only you that can make the changes in you that you would like to see in others. It is up to you to know that you do not need to convert the masses to validate your beliefs, religious or political.

So if you really want to celebrate your Independence, do so by looking in the mirror. Use that independence to stand on your own. Use it to fall on your own. Use it to shape you into the you that you would respect. Be all they you want to be and hope that maybe somebody will follow your example. Be your own role model and hope that is enough to be that for some other person too. Kids or no kids, strive to be the perfect parent, for you and your tribe. Do it all inside, and the people will see what you see in the mirror.

I got a lamp you can rub,..

People have trouble with people because they don't even know themselves. So many people are so eager to go for what they think they want and fight for it tooth and nail. When they get it they are shocked at how little it actually meets their needs. How many people out there reading have fallen into that. How many times have you thought that the grass was so much greener on the other side? Maybe you left a job to go work somewhere else to find out it was much more sucktacular.

You see other people doing their thing and you tell yourself they must be happier. You look at them smile. You watch them laugh at jokes that you can't hear. You let envy rule your train of thought and seeds of jealousy change your view. You think they got it so good, and plot to get it for yourself. Maybe you are petty minded and figure if you can't have it you will plot to take it away from them.

What people fail to see or do is look at what they have. They fail to see that they might actually have it good if they stopped bitching about it and really measured up what their life, job, family, and home have to offer. Does your life actually meet your needs? Could it make you happy if you where not so damn worried about what everybody else was up to?

Lets look at what you have going on. Look at all the good things you have in your life. Does at least one person love you? Do others consider you in their decisions? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have something soft to sleep on? Are you warm when you want to be and cool when you want to be? Really how fucking bad is your life?

Now lets looks at the bad stuff you use tear down your life and see how much is superficial and how much is self generated. You envy some dude for the money he makes, and you're right life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you have though, the less shit you taste. So is it that guys fault he makes more money then you? Damn straight it is, people rarely luck into a great job. They get education, they network, and they work to improve themselves to be enticing to an employer. How much of that did you do and how much as well?

"Oh but dude my health sucks." Really? Okay I am not even going to compare what the health level is now to those living in the 20's to what even our uninsured masses have now. You knees hurt? That's interesting, how much do you weigh? What kind of strain do you put on your joints and not work them to carry the load? You get education on diet, exercise, food groups, saturated fats, and you ignore it. How many of you munched on a bag of greasy chips this week? How many of you went for a walk? Outside of genetic issues you can blame most of your shitty health on yourself. Other condition can also be linked to shitty eating habits. You got very few people to blame except yourself. So stop whining own your shit and get as healthy as you want to be, or stop bitching and embrace your choices.

Stop hating the guy next to you that can walk up stairs without getting winded. Stop hating your neighbor lady because her waist is smaller then her tits. Stop trying to make the world conform to your apathy and laziness and figure out what it takes to make you happy. If your ass is so huge that you spill over a seat, the airline is not supposed to make the seat bigger. You need to lose the weight, or pay for another ticket. Leave the damn child behind, don't dumb down the rest of the class to accommodate some kid who does not want to pay attention, or needs special attention to get it. Let the smart kids be smart. If that is your kid, and you know he is not dumb, try being a fucking parent and stop trying to lay the blame on the teacher.

You want to be happy, take ownership of your life and stop trying to own the other guys. Stop thinking that the next house will be better, when the one you have would be great if you just put some effort into it. Stop hating people for being what you want to be. Stop hating what you have. Stop hating yourself. Take ownership and stop caring what the other cats think of you. Find your own happiness and leave mine alone douche nozzle.

check check, is this thing on?

Cowards are everywhere. They make up the vast majority of the planet actually. You might even be one. This is an epidemic that has occurred in human nature, since humans lived in nature. Its okay though there is a cure. There is a chance for the cowards out there. Its a simple program that involves the use of the occasional drug, in conjunction with an intensive therapy program. There is hope.

You having trouble talking with people you are in relationships with? You back down rather then tell them they are hurting you, holding you back or hurting you? You having trouble keeping their attention with your meek whiny ass constantly backing down into a corner? Or maybe you are having trouble finding that special someone to begin with because the thought of talking to them gives you warm feeling in your crotch? Is your warm feeling you urinating yourself?

Having trouble getting that promotion? Boss having trouble noticing you at work because you won't take credit for what you do? Coworkers not having that problem? Taking credit for what you do? Those raises come with to much responsibility and that makes you want to throw up? Well we have a solution for you. You may need to start on this program with at least three shots of your favor liquid courage (alcohol dumb ass). Eventually you won't need it, if you follow the rest of the program.

First and foremost, grow a pair. You can grow a spine if you prefer, some people have issues carrying a pair of brass balls. It takes skill to walk with confidence when you are toting around a huge set of perfect brass balls. Some people even prefer steel balls. I am a fan of the brass balls, because they do not spark when I walk. I know there is always a fire ban, and I try to do my part.

You may be asking yourself right now, how do you grow a pair? or a spine if you really love your vagina. That's cool tool because I would like the chance to love your vagina too. Well step one to do this with out the use of the liquid courage is to get the fuck over yourself. Once you realize that you are not that special, precious, or unique it gets easier. You are a cog in the machine. However you can be a big ass cog with a nice huge pair of shiny brass balls.

Second step is to speak you mind. If you do not say what you are thinking you can't blame those around you for doing the exact opposite of what you want them to do. If you really want your partner to tongue punch your fart box, that is something you have to state. Most people will not offer that or do it without prompting. I know I would not do it without prompting period, but hey if you don't ask you just mope every time someone doesn't do it. That's right you have a mouth, and a mind use them or keep getting used.

Third on this list of recovery is to back your shit up. If you finally open your pie hole and use it for something other then shoveling out whiny self debasing drivel, back it up. If you say that you are going to do something you damn well better. Your balls grow in the eyes of others when you back your shit up. They also get a little more shiny as your ability to back your word up grows. If you say you will quit, walk away, or break it off if this, this, or this, is not met, then break it off when they don't do it.

Stop being a door mat, nobody likes to wipe their feet off on a pair if HUGE shiny balls. Hell they don't even like kicking them because it hurts their toes. You also do not know if you can do something until you try it. Hell you might be surprised as to what you can do and what people will do if you state what you want and do what you need to do to make it happen. SO grab your sack Jack and get out of the herd.

Reupholstered?

I am not sure what to call it, but economic recovery is not it. Housing market is still pretty shitty. Consumer sales are s down more then they where four years ago. For the first time in my life I am actually hunting for a job and not rolling into one after a week of just letting people know I was was out hunting. Even the state is struggling so not hiring full timers on the Guard side, and most state services are laying off instead of hiring.

So I am gonna call this reupholstered. We do not have a new couch to sit on, but it has a new pretty cover and everybody thinks we have a new couch. The cushions are the same ass stained, food jammed, soda saturated ones they have always been they just have better wrapping paper. I like the comfy couch, well I did, but now I know what bed bugs are, and I am ready to get rid of it.

You know we generate an average of 21 billion dollars of debt with China alone each quarter. Yet for some reason our leaders regardless of party lines want to kiss the ass of who ever they can over there. Most favored nation trading status so we lessen taxes and tariffs on their products coming in, but the tax the living hell out of any US stuff going into China. They make it almost unattainable by their near slave wage people.

Here I am looking for a job. I have an interview today. If that does not work out I will use my GI Bill and state tuition assistance to go back to school. I do not doubt that I will find a way to bring money into the house so my wife stops stressing, but it should not take this long and school should not be an option. I mean you should want to go back to school to go to school, not just as a way to make money.

So what is a brother to do, politicians blame the other guys, the other guys blamed the other guys. How about a guy that runs for office that does not blame anyone. He or she just offers solution. Fuck party lines, they are nothing but pick up lines anyway. Screw the left, fuck the right, lets meet in the middle and make shit work here again. Lets see who is willing to take our nation to the methadone clinic and break this China habit.

I am actually tired of the party lines. I do not care. Democrats hate Republicans, Republicans hate Democrats. They do not vote for anything to help the country on merit alone, they just vote against what ever the other proposed. The drum up bullshit on both sides and put out what ever numbers they can to support what they are doing or tear down the other and neglect to share the truth. Just fix this shit or go find another job. If you where my kid your ass would be soar and you nose would be worn from the corner.

A trip around the sun,..

Today is a special day. Today is my wife's birthday. As a gentlemen I am not going to say how many times she has gone around the wheel, but I am going to share some thoughts on the matter. We celebrate the anniversary of someones birth, and this event has become very important to us socially. Why is that do you think? What drives us to celebrate something and make it our own each year. The reality of the matter is that our mothers should be celebrated, they did all the work.

All we did was get shoved out of a vagina, covered in goo, to be greeted by a strange creature that assaults us. So much more then us went into the actual event of out birth, yet we like to make the day our own. It is like a building being celebrated and not the architect that designed it, or the crew that built it. That seems to be a firm part of human nature though, we like to look at the finish product and neglect those that did the work to bring it to us. Seriously without googling, ask yourself if you know who built or designed the Golden Gate bridge, the Hoover Dam, the Bastille, or even the Great Wall.

I do believe that we deserve a day of our own though. It is a great social tool to remind people that though we are a tribe, we are made up of individuals. Each of us have our own flaws and strengths. Each of us can contribute, and some more then others. We all deserve a day to shine. We all deserve our day in the sun that is ours and ours alone. To be showered with thanks, praise, and gifts. It is our birthright if you will.

This serves several purposes. The obvious one is to remind the individual of their importance to the community. More importantly it stresses the value of the individual to the community. It is through celebrating others that we can be reminded of our own importance. Of course this is easier for me today, because I truly love the person who is the focus of event. Today is her day, and I am glad to give it to her.

The other purpose of this is to remind us of time. As humans we like to think of time and we like to track milestones. We watch people can on years and weigh their position in the community and in our hearts. This is one reason we more at funerals. Either the loss of that person due to time, or the loss of the time for that person if they are young. It boils down to time. A concept that we as individuals can do nothing about, but we can measure and watch its effect on us.

So we try to ward off time but celebrating our birth, and the birth of those around us. We remember when they had all the time ahead of them and we celebrate the time we have enjoyed with them. We celebrate the hope of much more time with them. So today I say here is to time, and may time give me of itself, so that I can grow change and spend more time with those I love. I hope that my wife is afforded more time, not just to be with me, but so that she too can enjoy its passage and learn and grow.

To that I say Happy Birthday love, and may time be your friend and love you as much as I do.

If you stand for nothing you fall for everything,...

I think the largest difference I see amongst people is purpose. I personally feel blessed having multiple purposes. There are people that will go through life without a single glimpse of one. They wonder like social zombies through life, stumbling along and living on the cares and worries of others. You see with out purpose you have no direction of your own, you are reactive.

I have purpose in many layers. It gives me focus when I need it, and the ability to gauge my long term goals. You can actually see how far you have come in life by how many goals you have accomplished. Having one purpose you can do the same just not as well. You find most of your zealots and nutjobs. All that focus on one person can bring on a very soulful variety of OCD. Look at most of your terrorist, including the political kind here in the states, not just the roadside bomb camel humping kind.

Purpose is something you can get for yourself, or have thrust upon you like a porn stars jiggly bits. Purpose is simply a mission. You can choose to accept it, take one on board that is offered, but at the end of the day the only thing that stops you from having a mission is you. I have a few missions, so large some small, but each of them work towards the purpose of making the lives of my "family" and myself, much better.

One mission is my military side. I am a medic. I protect the life, limb and eye sight of those willing to protect our collective freedoms and rights guaranteed by the Constitution. Another purpose is to learn as much as I can cram into my head. Knowledge is power and I try to collect all of it I can. Incidentally that helps me with purpose number one. I also find purpose in helping my friend family. I find purpose in helping others, also rooted in that first mission. I hate to see friends suffer, so I learn how to help them with the suffering. You see how that can and will tie together because they are a part of you.

I can not just give to one secular purpose though. You pledge your life to one purpose and call it divine you shut out the rest. Your focus becomes narrow, and therefore your mind as well. Next thing you know you are strapping a vest on full of explosives and letting someone else use you for their purpose and you don't notice because you are so focused one cause and one cause alone. You need the balance of other views or you will find out what the afterlife holds faster then others.

One other purpose I have is a selfish one, it is to make my health better. Lose that American cheeseburger french fried ass and gut. Which helps me serve those other missions as well. I can get to more guys that are hurt if I am not winded. I can learn more about my body to help it get better, and in the process learn to better serve my family, and maybe even help them get better and healthy.

Its a mission, its not you. It is a tool of yours, not you a tool of it. Keep that in mind and you will find your own missions. You will find something to drive you and goals that you can measure your progress. It makes life easier and more enjoyable. Selfish missions can be good as well, but you need to balance them with selfless missions, or you just grow as a selfish asshole that nobody wants to hang with.

With purpose come passion. Many people mistake passion for anger or other emotions. Most narrow minded fuck tards think passion can only be found in the bedroom. It is all around. You can find passion in most things you do if you are smart enough to figure it out. So with passion and a purpose you can succeed in life period. You are less likely to give up. You find it easier to get up when you get knocked down. So get a purpose and get a life.

Otherwise you will be that jealous crazy person seeking to tear down the resolve and purpose of others because it makes you feel better about yourself tearing others down so they are living in a a pile of bullshit like yourself and not realize that this does nothing to improve your station and is extremely childish and stupid. Yes a run on sentence for sure. I think it makes the point though. You can tell those with purpose and those with out, and not just because they are hecklers. They usually live a very lonely life and their only excitement is the excitement they cause with their drama.

Cast those shit heads out of your life. Find purpose and smile. Live a life with meaning and who cares who tries to tear it down. Stand tall, and drive on. Remember its easy being fat lazy and bitchy, but what do you really get out of that?

what you see is not what you get.

In the last few days a few people who have been the focus of my ire, have been quick to say that I need to go to anger management. They are real quick to say that I need counseling through the VA, or some where. They say I am much more angry then I was before I left. While they may be right that I have come back changed I think that they are missing the point of the change.

First I am going to go on record that I am not more nor less angry then I was before I left. I think the major difference is not having the coffee shop. I do not have to be the huggy bunny social guy that I never was in order to make people I think are a waste of valuable 02, comfortable in my business. There are so many dead beat drama queens that walked through the door of the shop that if I told off all the ones I wanted to, I would never have had time to do business.

I am not anymore violent then the guy that left, if anything I am less so. When is the last time I hit someone with a stick for entertainment? I would like to get back into that, but no time as of yet. People who say my violence has been elevated obviously did not know me or speak to me before I went, or did not know me outside of the professional. Also do not confuse my low level of tolerance for stupid people, stupid actions, inflated drama or liars as violence. I have always spoke my mind and always will.

If I have threatened you with physical violence however, I will state that it most likely came with terms. That being I said I am going to hurt you if this or that happens. If you need me to paint it out further in more exact terms it would go something like this; If you touch my wife I will break your arm. If you touch her again I will beat with your own arm after I break it off you. To me that was reasonable before I left overseas, and still reasonable now.

So I can tell you I am managing my anger just fine. I have always allowed myself to be angry, and people seem to notice that a lot. I have also always allowed myself to love, and people do not seem to see that side as much. I have always allowed myself to use force when it is needed to protect or defend myself, my loved ones, or my property. I have also allowed myself the right to walk away from things not worth fighting over just for the sake of fighting over them. Most people are quick to notice the things I am willing to fight for, and ignore all the crap I let go.

So what does that say about most people? To me it says that they love to look for the negative. It tells me people would rather tear people down below them rather then lift themselves up to a higher level. It tells me it is easier for people to swallow the negatives of the world, rather then live with the positive things that are out there.

So no I do not need counseling. What I need is for people to stop being self serving assholes. I do not need to seek help. What I do need is for those negative turds to take a hint and stay out of my life. I do not need medication. What I do need is to surround myself with friends that challenge me and make me want to be a better me. I do not need to take a pill to make me happy. I allow myself to do that right fine on my own.

On that note I am gonna go take my tired butt off to bed. I am going to sleep soundly. I am going to wake up rested and attack a new day with a smile. Why because I am not an angry bitter crashed out war veteran that people seem to think is crazy and going to kill babies for fun. If you see the anger there is probably a reason, and I am not the one that needs help. You might want to look at what you are doing? Ask yourself are you twenty pounds of shit in a five pound sack? What did you do to deserve my ire?

Yes you honor,..

So after yesterdays blog I discovered a few things and had to confess to my own crimes if you would. First off it was nice to know that I was not alone in my feelings. A large percentage of people that actually read my little rag messaged me separately, and not only felt the same way, but also named the guy I was talking about. Now this boosted my own feelings on the situation, and encouraged me to talk to those that did not reply. So this got me thinking on another topic that I have been finding more and more useful as I have been getting older. Diplomacy.

Now I am not talking the back biting bullshit that goes on in Congress, but the act and art of using actual tact. Knowing the right time and place to say what needs to be said, and not just reacting on the emotion of a situation. I am typically level headed, which shocks people when they find out I am a different person at home with my wife, then I am in public. The reason for this is my absolute fear of crowds. Yeah no shit I am scared of crowds, sometimes terrified, depending on the amount of people I know in that said crowd.

My normal reaction in crowds is to get ramped up, be talkative and bouncy. I understand why I do this, and I do attempt to control it, but I understand why my subconscious takes the drivers seat. I talk to many people in the hopes to get to knwo them. The more people I know the easier it is for me to relax, though I don't think I can ever relax with more then ten people in close proximity. So I become a chatter box. I crack jokes. I try to get them to open up so I can judge their character and determine if they are a threat to me and mine, and if so how can I effectively deal with them if they become an active threat.

That being said, for me tact is a huge strain. Knowing what to say and when to say it is something I am normally very good at. When I am under fire from intense emotion though I do one of two things, I either ride the wave and let emotion dictate my actions, or in the worse case scenario I let go of any emotion. Then I act on a logic path that was established by emotion prior to me shutting it out. So I am either a bouncy obnoxious loud mouth that can not sit still, or I shut my mouth and figure out who needs to get hit first so I can get my "family" out safe.

Thankfully for the criminal record I rarely go into the latter state, but my wife typically has to make a lot of apologies for me in the most common state. So while I am disappointed that many others that agreed with me have not spoken out in regards to this individual prior to this event. I understand that not every one is a person of action, or have the experience to have been witness to the acts of this particular asshole. So they might be giving this guy the benefit of the doubt but watching him because of the creepy vibe he puts off. Others might be saying he has not made moves towards their own, so see no reason to jump on him yet. However I know how this cat works, and that being said I will have a talk in the right time and right place with the persons that need to hear it. I will do so when there is not a large crowd, and I can use my larger brain and not the irrational overly emotional brain stem telling me its fight or flight, and leaning heavy on the fight.

I do not know if people really understand how hard it was for me not to choke the fucker out every time I see him. Then to have him antagonize me in a public gathering made it even harder not to slip into the quiet me. It is respect for the home I was visiting, and those same people I will need to talk to, that prevented me from walking across the yard when he put down that subtle very directed comment. I know he was trying his damnedest to get a rise out of me. and he was very nearly successful. It would have most likely resulted in me not being welcome to that social group and more, and would have allowed him free reign to prey upon them. He will to, and I see the ground work already laid. So for those of you in the know, watch your daughters, and watch yourself for that matter. Watch you pocket book too, they guy is a total fucking mooch too. He can go beg elsewhere, and I will get him out of places that make it easy for him. Its a shame though that so many still attend his meet up and support his efforts to exploit the community that I have grown to love.

So rest assured I will do what I can and I will speak my piece. I have already addressed him directly and he is calling me a blow hard and a liar with anger management issues. Well he can think what he wants, however I manage my anger just fine, hence why is still breathing. I know that I have never broken my word and I have nothing to prove to him. I know this for myself and its a good thing I don't give a shit what anybody thinks about me, even less him. I would address my issues with the legal system, but it is not my place to put the young lady I know he was "working" on the spot, she is s a fine young lady, and of legal age now. She would need to do that on her own, or its just hearsay and will not hold up in court. Rational thought rules my day when I am not in crowds, and I am going to try to bring that into crowd life as well, so that I can catch this bastard and have them lock him up.

I see you,..

So yesterday was an interesting day. I learned a bit about myself and the world around me. It also started another one of those internal debates that has not resolved itself yet. I have it narrowed down to two paths I might take. Well there is a third on that is still on the table, but that one is mostly joyous violence. You see their is this douche nozzle that knows a lot of the same people I know. I have seen the true face of this no talent mooch master, and I do not like it. Recently he attacked a friend of mine in a email, so I gave him a piece of my mind. In the last week we where out at an event in public together and he decided to take a big drink of Windex, because window lickers like the flavor, I guess it is their tequila. At this event he was the subtle back biting manipulator he has always been, and never stepped out directly. He made sure I understood it was me he was talking about though. He basically tried to call me out, and did so in a way that if I did confront him, not only would I be insulting our gracious host, but also making him look good.

So I actually ignored the bait. I let it go. Since I have been back from Iraq this moron has been at a few of the same events as me. I have taken the policy of not saying a word to him. I really do not wish to give him any more effort then he deserves. Yet I also see him hanging out with people I call my friends, and I know what kind of a person he is. He is not openly malicious to them, so he is still welcome at their homes. He has not tried to hit on their young women yet, which is something that has made him unwelcome in other places. He has not outright used them yet, and I do not think he has begged for his supper with them yet either.

I hate this guy. I do not hate a lot of people but I hate this guy. He actually personifies everything that is wrong with the male image today. He would rather mooch and pan handle then have a job. As a matter of fact he actually put more effort into projects that could only be described as con's on the net, then he did in looking for honest work here. Now I am okay with consenting adults getting together regardless of age, but this guy likes to prey on the young ones. When he catches them in his claws he uses them up only to cast them off, and makes them feel like it was their fault. He is deceitful and good at it. Not many people get to see his true face, and he hides behind a bullshit facade of honor and integrity. He has not of either.

You see honor is something earned, not something that is claimed. It is something people feel towards you, and that can be used like the currency of trust. To be know as an honorable man means that you can do business on a hand shake. Integrity is one way to get honor, but to me is more of a way to live life. Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. These can be faked, and he does that well. It pisses me off to no avail.

So that third course of action is, if you have not guessed yet, would be to pommel him into the dirt. This one would bring me the most satisfaction, though my friends that have not seen his face would not be very understanding. He is Loki to me, the great trickster, and not in the cute way people like to think of it. He would plot the death of another, and use others to do it, out of spite. This is why ending him before he could would bring me satisfaction. I am not opposed to this type of violence, but I am afraid to do it, because of the level of satisfaction I know I would draw from it, so it is not a real valid option. I mean who would not want to kick a pedophile fork tongued user in the face?

The second course is the one I am currently on. The path of Buddha is heavy on this one. It is one of control and restraint. If and when I do see him, I just ignore him. I do not let him stir one emotion on the outside. I do not speak to him, nor respond to his words. I will let others decide for themselves about him, and give them time to see him on their own. I bite my tongue until it fills my mouth with blood and ignore his efforts to bait me. I know why he does it too, because he wants to be the martyr in public, so I will not give it to him. I have dealt with his kind before. Other people like him hide behind the words of another pedophile and put bombs on the side of the road and run planes into buildings. I will not give him what he wants. However if he does keep poking, I will catch him alone and the previous option might just become the one of choice.

The final option to me is a bit childish, but it might be effective on several levels. There is wisdom in the heart of five year old after all. I was thinking of a simple social ban. What I mean by this is that informing my friends that I will not attend any event he is at. If he shows up at an event, make it very apparent that he is the reason I am leaving. This could do two things, either make him unwelcome, or even help me narrow down the places I want to be. I really do not feel comfortable with this route, but I have not ruled it out. Like I said the guy is a good liar, and I am trying to be the better person. Not just to him, but for myself. So I do not share all of my encounters with the public.

Yet some of them have seen him work his mojo on a sixteen year old girl, him very much in his forties. They say things to justify it, like she is close enough to eighteen to make her own choices. Or my favor response is the bitch in private and ignore in public method. I am not even sure what this trickster has to offer them the forces them to look the other way, or is it the fear that most of any confrontation? Do we tolerate those that have not hurt us directly, or refuse to see the truth about them because of a fear of confrontation?

Not understanding the reactions of others, I personally am still trying to do the right thing. I am not one to preach the evils of another, I prefer people make up their own minds, and if wonder if they just do not see what I see? And if they do see what I see, but it doesn't bother them nearly as much, do I want to hang out with them anyway? So this is my dilemma. I am trying to stay on the higher ground. I am trying to be the better man, and I also do not want my friends to be hurt or even annoyed by this ass hat. Sometimes is sucks trying to be a better you, and not in a good way.

Impressions are made when you fall real far.

I recently had some ask me if I was really that conservative, or as level as I claim to be. It made me think a bit, and the first thing I thought was fuck you. Who are you to question my identity. Then I gave it thought, as to why this person thought I was something that I am not, or at least do not see myself as. I started thinking about how many of us do the same thing. How big of a difference is our perception of self from the observations of others.

I know what goes on in my head. I know what is in my thoughts, not many people are privy to that intel. I keep that to myself and only those deep in inner circle of trust. That inner circle is very limited and even then, those that are in it only get small views on a need to know basis. If I do this I am sure many other people do.

So I have decided to make a small change in my life, and stop looking at people by one action, or even my interactions with them. I do not know their thoughts or their motivations. I do not know what their intentions truly are, so I am not going to pretend to know. However I am going to lay judgment on those static things in their life. For example a guy who claims to be a hard worker may be just that, but if they are pawning their goods, or begging for cash to make rent then maybe that perception is a bit off.

You can tell a lot about people by their friends, and the trust they get form those friends. Do they gather friends in mass, or are they picky about who they spend time with? That can tell you a bit about their values, like do they take their word seriously or are they a social whore. So in that its a bit hard to judge or measure a person without some thought on your part.

I ask people perceptions about me. Most people seem to think I am always angry. They seem to think I am a bit of hot head. That is cool they feel that way, but truth be told I am rarely angry anymore. I rarely raise my voice, and in these last few years I have raise my hands even less. I think the issue is that people are not in my head and do not know what is going on. I am not a violent man, but I also have no issues using it. People get that confused all the time. Think about being a gun owner, you need to know how to clean your gun, how to use it safely, and you need to know where to keep it. A responsible gun owner hopes they never have to pull a gun to defend themselves, but they know how to use it just in case.

Of the people on here that think they know me I would pose a few questions to you that may make you think about judging other people quickly. How many of you know how many fights I have gotten into over the years? How many of those occurred after I was 18? How many cars have I wrecked in my life, and of those how many after I turned 18? How many years have I worked in medicine. What was my first career goal in high school? What have I gone to school for? What things reflect best on your judgment of me?

Midnight in the Garden

Recently read another blog on the subject of good and evil. I enjoyed it very much. To me though these are merely constructs of the human mind. These are not things that occur in nature. A wolf killing the cute fuzzy bunny is not and act of malice, but one of survival. The earth quake that devastated Japan was not a dastardly deed put on to satisfy the need for vengeance of mother earth. Most things just are.

That I think is where the issue lies. We as the great human race are so wrapped up in what we could be, and thinking so hard of all the ways we can kill ourselves, we forget to just be. So we label things in and out, and file concepts like good and evil in out brain. We breathe life into them. We give them power. We also hold the exclusive rights. I think a man can be good, while a cow can't. I think a man can be evil, while a howler monkey can not.

Many people would argue that this is the burden of the soul. I would argue that they are full of a self righteous pile of crap. Yes we have a higher level of conscienceness, or at the very least an increased level of self awareness. That however does not make us better or worse then entire universe around us, it just makes us. Some things just are.

Many people argue that some divine creator imbued us with the concept of good and evil. They may be right about that, but I am not sure why they would unless there is a cosmic joke that I am not getting. Do I believe in a higher power, sure, but I do not think that any divine higher being is going to waste much time stroking my ego and answering my prayers. I do not believe in a single embodiment of good or even one of evil. I believe that actions are our own, and we need to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.

What I think the whole concept and good evil boils down to is human nature to not except responsibility for their own thoughts and actions. Its about blaming something intangible for your actions and the actions of others. We as the higher thinking species seem to be fine with being as morally bankrupt as possible, even though we are the only species that even recognizes the existence of morality on our planet.

Me personally I place my own beliefs in concepts that are more tangible on the human spectrum. I do not worry about good or evil. I invest effort into truth, justice, and desire. Truth is a much more powerful word, because it can be used in so many aspects of our overly complicated lifes. We can tell the truth, seek the truth, live for truth, or even bend or break the truth. Justice is balance and order in the world to me. Justice is a concept that will find its way into your life. Desire is what motivates us to exist, from the desire to procreate, eat, seek shelter, to the quest to keep up or surpass the Jones.

We spend more time wrapped up though in things that only have value that we give them. I mean really what is good but a construct of truth and desire. Good is also not a concept that can really be measured, and is not something a dog would know on sight. For a dog they either trust you, or they don't it is a simple truth. The same could be said about evil.

So we follow into these concepts of good and evil on order to inflate our own self worth as a species, or justify the elimination of one aspect or another of our own species. We do so in the name of an absentee divine creator, and we pretend we want them to pay attention to us. I personally think our ancestors had the right idea in that regard. They did not pray to their gods so much as they made offerings to be left along and unnoticed. They just wanted to be left alone to worry about being warm, dry, and full. They did not have time to concern themselves with good or evil.

I think that we put to much stock in these concepts and make them a self fulfilling prophecy. We dream up the concept of evil and it is visited upon us. We dream up the concept of good and see it visited upon others so as we don't appear selfish. If we are going to dream up concepts and add them to the collective, can we at least think of cooler shit?

Help! Help! I'm being repressed.

We talk today about a natural state of humanity, and established cultural norms. This seems to be a big argument that people like to use to justify behavior or to allow special privilege for themselves or others. This is in part a larger picture of the nurture versus nature argument. This covers topics from law creation, public nudity, monogamy, and family construction.

I am going to start by saying the nurture side has a lot of my support. Don't get me wrong I feel great when I can embrace my nature in regards to clothing, and those of you that know, know that my wife has to remind me to put pants on when we have company. On the nurture side though I say thank you evolution and tool development. I mean really its great to run around naked, but there are some people out there that should NEVER be naked, ever. Clothes where created for a reason, protecting out fragile bodies from the sun, weather, and sandy ass cracks. They also protect our eyes from those that feel they have the right to graze at Mc Donald's and show the world the results.

People complain about certain laws and marvel at how they came to be, but law in essence is a reflection of custom. Law is the enforced morality of a culture. That is at least how it was supposed to be. So laws developed around nudity because more then one person felt like I do about certain people should be covered up. People agree murder is wrong so it in turn became law. That is social law of course and how it becomes to be, or at least is how it supposed to be. So to me the concept of anarchy is redundant because people are still looking to enforce the sets of their own social morals because it makes them feel better. You know how much of a soulful erection a dude gets when he forces the will of "his people" on someone else, before the laws of nature get to him?

Breaking down this macrocosmic view of nurture and nature gets me wondering about monogamy. You see old time religious views talk about a man and wife, and hint at monogamy. Early laws suggest marriage as a contract but monogamy was a state of being for many couples through out the world. Now why is this when some smart cats with more degrees then a thermometer tell us that monogamy is not the natural state of man. And by man I mean the penis kind and the woah kind, I am referring to the species of man. Where do the concepts of infidelity and monogamy come from?

Well first lets look at one of the most accepted concept of morality, that being religion. Though lately those preaching religion to the masses are rarely examples of morality. Some text like the old testament lay down laws to people as if they come from Gods lips. You prepare your food in a manner that is "kosher", you wash your feet or hands at certain times, and you do and don't do certain things with animals. Why this early hygiene guide written into our moral code? Because people are more receptive to nurture then they are to nature. God is easier then learning. If you want your people to be healthy, fruitful and able to multiply then you give them instructions and say they came from God. In doing that they do not question, they just do.

What does this have to do with monogamy, well a lot actually. It is hard to enforce control over population when there is limited accountability. You know what hole that fuck trophy crawled out of, but you might not be sure who the sperm donor is. However if you force pairs then at least you know one partner can be held accountable for raising another generation of mind controlled masses and you wrap all that responsibility under the guise of lineage and inheritance. Even though it was started with the intent to control the population it also served a purpose to help understand population control. By limiting partners you limit the spread of disease, you encourage the fixation of the family unit. It can and should be healthy even though nature screams inside your bones with each glace of the potentiality of partners that move around each day.

The nail in the coffin for most people is the that social development tying the physical with the emotional. Conditioning of the social constraints and society enforcing that bond of two people by making it love making. They tied the heart and mind to what used to be a baser physical act, and social development went as far to tie is so deeply into our being that many people find they can not climax with out heavy emotional involvement. Even to a point that people who are in polyamorous relationships, or swingers, or open relationships, or living the lifestyle, still gravitate to a main relationship, or their number one. So in this case nurture became nature. Now it is natural to have someONE in your life.

So the point of all of this is that we do not seem to give thought to what we call repression. Social norms do develop for a reason, and by understanding some of the aspects of that positive and negative we can enhance our life. How we do that is understand the reasons behind it so we can find the positive of any social behavior. Then looking at that you can see the negative part of it in a different light, and maybe, just maybe you can remove those aspects you consider negative. Responsibility is not negative. Just saying that.

The cow says moo,..

I am so excited and waving my geek flag with so much vigor today. This weekend Green Lantern comes out in the theaters. I would even brave the crowds of people to see it Friday, but alas my sweetie is busy, and Saturday is full of other cool stuff. Sunday is also a wash, but still doing some cool geeky stuff there, spending fathers day with some good friends who will also be waving the geek flag, at the Renaissance Festival. We are so going on Monday though. No crowds and we can enjoy the experience.

The reason I am giving you all a glimpse into my personal life is really simple. It will make sense as to what I am going to discuss. The Green Lantern got me thinking about human nature. Her is this dude, Hal Jordan, that is an adventurer and living life to the fullest before he gets a really cool decoder ring. He has a wreck of a personal life, and escapes in adrenaline. Even for his faults though he lives a pretty cool life, and with courage. His child like wonder and imagination is what makes him a perfect lantern. His strengths are apparent, and over coming weakness is what the movie is really about.

So why is this important enough for me to look at? Well there are so many people out there that say they want happiness. They want so much out of life, but they are not willing to do the things to get it. So many people let their fear of failure or the unknown control their life. They are unwilling to try new things. They are unwilling to break their routine. They are complacent and use that to replace happiness.

Yes the ancient Chinese curse sums up human existence. May you live in interesting times. People do not want interesting. They want stability. This is the vast majority of the population. They admire the adventurous, or at the very least they envy them. They want what they have and in that would rather take that away from those willing to take risk then try to go for it themselves.

What I mean by this is the socialistic tendency of us as a people. Lets look at a simple political issue, taxes on the rich. Most people feel that they are not paying their fair share. That they shelter their money and shield it from the government, and its unfair. Well in part you are right. They do pay more in taxes then you, because they make more money. Even after the shelters, they just do not offer the same percentage of their income. I can see the baser and simplistic issue of fairness here, but really just because they have it good does not mean you have to take it away from them. Get your own. That is the beauty of this country. Anybody who works hard at chasing a dream can get it.

The next part that makes the Green Lantern so fucking awesome is his artistic side. You see he can create anything with his ring. The only stipulation is that is has to be green and he has to imagine the object in its entirety. So in essence he is an artist in the truest sense. Creating something from nothing and letting his imagination run free. Creation is within all of us, we just need to the courage too discover it.

In that it also shows the balance of creation and destruction. He used creations to destroy, as well as to protect. While there manifestations could do great things, they like all things are fleeting and finite. They only last as long as he concentrated on them. Its a reflection of the law of the universe in my mind. Things exist in thought and the mind is the most powerful tool we have. It is thought that gives things form and purpose. Without your mind you are nothing but an object to be named.

So getting into the deeper issues of a comic book seemed like a cool thing to write about today. Hopefully it gives people something to think about, and look for the deeper things in everything around you. Also I can only hope one person decides to muster the courage to embark on an adventure of their own, with a full and happy life being the reward. Stop focusing on what other people have that you don't and start looking to the things you want. You can make a plan and work at getting those things for yourself.

Yes I am that cool,..

Yep I am that cool. I am that special. You want to know why? I honestly believe I am better then most people. Yes I am gonna say what some people only think to themselves. The fact they don't say it out loud is one more thing that proves I am better then them. The list of other things that makes me better then most can go on and on, but I will keep it simple because I do not writers cramps. Plus I know most people will stop about here, because they are gonna shut their brain down, call me arrogant and move the fuck on. That's cool because in this case I am definitely better then them.

So the first thing that makes me better then most is that I refuse to live on the support of others. That's right, I do not want, need, or desire any government subsidy. I am not saying people on welfare suck, but I am saying I am better then them. The goal in life is to live on the labors of oneself, and be self sustaining. This does mean learning to milk the system. So in that regard I can honestly say that I have not once in my life collected unemployment, or benefited from government substance outside of military programs.

Second is that I am not only able to speak my mind, but those thoughts can be understood by people. I am not some nut on the corner preaching about the end of the world and the topaz cat monkeys from the planet Zoth are not in control of my voice. I do not fear what my high lord master is going to say about what I say, because I understand that I am an American. As an American I understand it is not only my right to speak out, but my responsibility in order to preserve this nation. Most people do not have the courage to tell the person they love how they feel, much less actually attempt to do something about their Jerry Springer cousin banging issues.

Which brings me to my third point, as to why I am better then most. Not only will I speak my mind about what sucks or what makes me happy, I am fully prepared to do something about it. If something is fucked up, I know that bitching about it does nothing but draw attention to an issue. I know that in order to make things better you need to also offer up a solution, and be ready to implement that solution. Bitching for the sake of bitching is a waste of energy. It is not enough to simply point shit out, any lazy two face monkey fucker can do that. You need to be able to do something about it, or at least be willing to.

Next is that I own my shit. My issues are my issues, I do not have them because my Daddy beat me as a kid. I come from a pretty fucked family life, but then again so do a lot of other people. The difference is that I do not blame them for who I am, I take full credit and own up to my short comings and my accolades. My past only effects me if I continue to carry the torch for it. This is not something I apply to my distant past either. I apply it every fucking day of my life. I was having health issues, I didn't blame McDonald's. I blamed my own fat lazy ass, and got off the couch and started running. No one made me fat outside of my own choices. Own your own shit and you can be a better person too.

The last thing I am going to list here today as to why I am better then most, and yes probably better then you, is that my mind really is open. Yes I have my morality. I have my own rules to live life. I have my own views of religion and the world around me. That does not mean that I will not listen to other views, and that does not mean I shut them out by default. I do not proselytize my beliefs in the hopes to convert people so I can validate my ideals with the strength of numbers. Just because a lot of people believe something does not make it right. That goes for everything, religion, politics, life in general.

Remember just because you are old does not make you wise, it makes you fucking old. Rocks are old, and not all of them do shit. You are not entitled to my respect because yes, most likely I am better then you. You get my respect right out the gate, but prove me right and lose it quickly. Prove to me that I am better then you and watch me walk away. I do not want to be around people I do not respect. I want to surround myself with people that are better, or at least as good as me. I do this because I want to challenge myself to be better. You do not get better at math by hanging out with window lickers. That applies to all aspects of life. You don't get better at anything by learning from people that suck at it or never did it. You just learn how not to do it. Sometimes that is good, but learning how to do it right it better.

why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends,..

Friends are family you can you choose. Blood is blood, and while some people say its stronger then water, you can drink water. Blood is something I try to keep off my hands, and drinking it never quenched my thirst. That is the beauty of friendship, its pure, its clean, and it is something you can drink. Water wears down stones. Water breaks down all things. It is the great strength of the world. There is water in blood. So when it comes to the choices we make and life I choose water. My friends are my water.

Friends come and go in a persons like. Its part of who and what we are. Our interactions with people are what afford us a measure of who we are. It is through actions with other people we can measure how far we have come in this journey we call life. So they have an importance to us. It is understanding that friends are the family we choose, and we have to choose wisely who we award the title of friend. In that position of friend there are many degrees like a family. Some friends are like your brothers and sisters, others are like cousins or uncles, some are a distant niece or nephew. The only difference between the friends family and a blood family, you place people where they need to be according to you.

Your mother is your mother, and your father is your father. You don't get to pick them and hopefully you fall into some cool ones. If not, you can't make their baggage yours, and you can't blame them for all of life's woes. If your daddy was an alcoholic and ate your last cheeto, it only has the impact you allow it to have. If your ma ma was a crack ho, but some how you where born not addicted to crack them good on you, and you don't need to carry your ma ma's issues. You can choose to carry as much of the good and the bad of your birth family as you choose to.

Now how this reflects on your chosen family is simple. You can gauge a person by the quality of company they keep. The key to that is that you keep the company. You choose to surround yourself with users. You choose to surround yourself with sponges and leeches. You choose to surround yourself with people that lift you up, and challenge you. You can make the choice to be positive in your friendships or tolerate the negative. So think about the type of person you want to be and surround yourself with them.

Friendship is a two way street. Friendship is about offering help, companionship, entertainment, and growth. You need to be able to add to the pool as much as you draw out of it. How much you put in and how much another puts in can tell you where they are in your picked out tweaked out family tree. If the tree is healthy that is. Not very many are. Most trees are sick and dying.

Most people think they need to surround themselves with as many friends as they can to feel complete. They feel that their status in life is tied to how many friends they have, and the fall into the retarded school of quantity. Codependency is codependency. You put up with crap from people just so you can say you have enough friends to inflate your self worth. Its sick that you put up with negative bullshit from people so they feed you ego, when the very actions they do of using you actually further strip down your ego so you need more friends to compensate.

People either help you or hurt you, they rarely find the middle.

Lets make a deal,..

What is my deal? Good question, what is my deal. Hell if I figure that out I am pretty sure I solved one of life's great mysteries. I mean I can break down a few things, and I can place myself firmly in the world with an opinion. However I do not think it is possible to nail down a person based on their “deal”. It is not one thing that makes a person tick. It is not one view point that makes them a person. It is a multitude of actions, ideals and principles that make them who they are. It is a myriad amount of memories and potential that really are the sum of the parts. So to narrow it down to one thing and claim that anybody is so simple they can be summed up by one deal is absurd.

Here I am a veteran. I have severed my country. I will continue to serve my country. However I abhor war. I think war is the ultimate failure of communication. I think it is the failure of compromise. I think it is the least civil thing we do in the name of civilization. On that same coin though, but the other side, the tails side if you will, I think it is a necessary evil. I think with out the threat of war bad men would do worse things, and no matter how hard we try there will always be someone that can be defined as a bad man. It is the ability to be good that makes it possible for evil, and the reversal.

Now lets complicate things further on discovering my deal. I would rather be at war then home though. War is simple. My basic needs are met. I am warm, dry, full, for the most part. The government sending me off to fight ensures that I have clothing. They make sure I am fed. The put a roof over my head. They remove as much of the worry that they can from my life to allow me greater focus on the mission they have given me. In order to help me keep a perspective they do offer distraction though so my focus is not on the willful destruction of the enemies property and their eventual termination. The give me leaders and policies designed specifically fracture my focus, and allow my body to preform the training they provided me. It is a simple life, and a simple life with few questions. To make it even better those questions when asked are typically meaningful and important, or at the least humorous.

So now lets look at the way of life that those wars provide for. Lets look at all the choice that we are given back home, and the worry we are allowed to have to enjoy those freedoms provided by a few sacred documents. Lets see if maybe we can find my “deal” there. We have the choice to live where ever we can afford. We can be full in many ways, and at what ever way we see fit. We have the choice to be dry, and in the manner of which we find the greatest comfort in. We can even go further and enjoy other luxuries that are beyond mere survival. We can pursue education. We can work harder to get better at all three. We can become more fiscally sound so that those basic needs are not even thought of as a concern, and we can abuse all of these luxuries to a point of redundancy.

We look at some of what makes America great in the quest for the “deal” and really see if there is anything in there. We have a great public education system that we abuse and ignore. Teachers are paid less then the vast majority of other college graduates. The salary of one NBA player could cover the salaries of a decent sized middle school. Hows that for investing in our future? We are trying so hard to find a way to get rich with out real effort that we neglect the people willing to help us in that effort and deify those that find ways around the system. I am not saying it is not hard to be a professional athlete, but I am saying it is much harder to be a teacher, and much harder to strive to be more then what you are.

So there is lies my anger, and that may be part of my deal. I see something worth fighting for, and maybe even dying for. I see a wondrous pool of potential in this country of ours. I see so many great possibilities. I also see that not many people are willing to step up to the plate and try for those possibilities. I see so many people willing to walk along eyes to the ground and take the easiest path through life. They want things handed to them, and they do not want to think, or be responsible for anything. Yet I am still willing to fight for that.
I mean it. People suck. They are throwing away a great thing and not even aware of it. Those that are aware of it seem to care less then those that are not aware. So we shovel down out super sized drive through meals, and go up a few pant sizes each year. We throw down the books and turn on the main stream media letting our IQ drop a few sizes each year. We accept deals like cash for clunkers as solutions to our dependency on a foreign government, much greater then our dependency on foreign oil. We turn a blind eye to groups like the WTO because its not our fight, or so we believe. We tolerate lies in government, and we praise the self serving. We are more worried about a Wiener showing his wiener, then we are about fixing our national debt and ending fiscal woe.

So in that we can play a game, and you can help me make a deal. I will stop being the stereotype of the whack job veteran saying doom, if you fat lazy fucks start using all those great things that my brothers and sisters died for you to use. How about you get an education, or at least take the one you where offered seriously. Stop bitching about the illegal immigrant mowing your lawn and get a real job worthy of that higher education. You want health care reform, don't have somebody pay for your admission into a broken system, find a way to fix the fucking system. Yo don't like the way something is, exercise your heritage as an American and find a way to make it better. Bitching about it until you get a hand out is useless.

Don't like politics as usual, then don't play politics as usual. If a candidate does not do what you like in office vote for one that say they will try to do that. If they are in office and drawing press for showing of their junk then get rid of them, unless someone else you like is using them as a smoke screen to continue doing what they want to do with out regard. That is of course if you actually want to pay attention and actually care what your government is doing.

Peaches and cream?

Damn the man, really. They tell you they want experience, when you have a degree. The say they want a degree when you have experience. Why don't they say what they really mean, they want the cheapest person they can get. That would save the trouble and a desperate person can low ball the salary and everyone else can go home. Its the fixation of commercialism. At least this is the negative side of it, and people are to lazy to work for the good side of it.

The negative traits are unrestrained greed. Make a buck no matter what the cost. Profit margin is the only thing that matters. Drive down cost, and stand on the backs of those that can lift you up. If you can do it with two instead of ten then do so. Quantity overrides quality. Make something that does the job, then breaks so they have to get another one. Manufacture where ever its cheaper. Swindle swoop cajole, what ever you can to make more.

The good qualities that people ignore are those of industrialism. The need to not only create something, but to create something better then its predecessor. The need to create something of substance that not only meets the standard but exceeds it and establishes a new standard. This is done in a place where people lift you on their shoulders not their backs, and they are ready to catch you when you fall. You take care of them, and they take care of you, because your success is tied together. You make things the best you can because you want your customers to come back to you. That is the good side.

We come to trouble times and we immediately look to the bad side, because its easy. When we get kicked with wanna strike back and lash out. We become emotional creatures and revert to animal inside us. We tear at ourselves. We pull our hair and we forgo pride. We want nothing but to share our hurt with others like a small child. So we push to make more money and ship our jobs off to make things cheaper. We push the market and try to make more then others. We stop making things better and we start pushing to make more. We get our materials at the cheapest places and drive down cost, yet its still not enough.

I am pissed because people do not see how retarded that is. We can not compete with slave wages. We can not compete with people that are able to sacrifice quality at a much greater rate then us. We can point fingers all day or we can move the fuck on and be better. We can use that industrial behavior to attack our enemies but not on their terms. That is just bad tactics. If a guy is better then you with a knife, you bring a fucking gun. If a guy is better with a gun then you, you bomb his house. That's how you win a fight and that is what we are in, a fight. This fight is for our life.

We can not compete with China, they will make dollar store trinkets faster then us. They will make them cheaper then us. So why do we try to compete with that. Let them have those. That is their knife. They keep cutting at us and cutting at us. We buy up their garbage and try to make our own. Our garbage is not as effective as their garbage. So we stop making garbage. We do what we do best and make things better. We design, we work with each other and we recapture the American dream. We find that reason to be arrogant again.

We don't make disposable cars. We make more fuel efficient cars, or cars that can work on renewable energy. We do what everybody else is trying. Not only that we do it better. We bring a fucking bomb to the knife fight. We employ skilled Americans and use those skills. We let the third world nations stamp bumpers, we design stuff that makes those bumpers better, or unneeded. We unite and live that American dream. We stop looking for hand outs. We take what is ours.

We stop settling for the cheap disposable crap that we are mass marketed. We make the things we need and make them better. We make them last. We make things that do things better then what does it already. We strive to make things that are better. We stop sniveling in the corner and we show the world what makes America great. We put our money where it matters, and we stop giving into the easy path. The road to prosperity has no easy choices, it is moist with sweat. It is not taking the mass produced multi family packs that whittle at our pocket book.

There is some much more to go on here, there are so many things that need to be addressed, but are we as a people willing to do what we need to do. How many people are actually willing to breath life back into our great nation? How many people are actually willing do what it takes? How many people actually know what I am talking about?

Where do we start? What can we do? Well there are a lot of things we can do, but first we have to be willing to do them. We have to be willing to take the hard path. Trouble is most people are happy being spoon fed and having their hand held.

Greenwar,..

Alright listen up you pretentious poser wanna be hippie that watched to many episodes of whale wars; Just because you drive a hybrid vehicle and drink your free trade latte in reusable cup does not make you better then anyone. If anything it makes you worse. It shows your stupidity. You are so worried about the approval of your peers that you don't think about crap and you just fall in line and do what you are told.

Lets look at that hybrid vehicle. Really, why does driving a no power weak ass vibrator on wheels make you better then me? Oh because you use less gas then my 5 liter lifted truck? Because my truck sucks down the blood of the ancient reptile kings by the gallons and yours merely sips? Well you are a moron. Sure I am putting more into the air that you can see, and you can shake your head at my gas mileage, but I drive less, and probably use less gas then you do over the course of a week. Also my batteries are not going to take up a huge space at the landfill long after my great grand children are dead.

This to me is like that whole yellow ribbon thing, really why are you doing what you are doing? Are you doing it because of the cool points you get? Or are you doing it for the tax breaks and the use of the HOV lane by yourself? If its the latter I can respect that. If you are trying to save the environment then why do you take loooooong drives by yourself using those non-biodegradable batteries and yes still using gas.

You want to help save the environment there are so many more efficient simple ways. How about put a garden in your back yard? How about car pool? How about work close to home? How about cooking for shorter times? How about servicing your car regularly and checking the tires. Man their are so many simple things out there that you can do, and you don't have to take credit for them.

Now if you are doing this for attention keep doing it. You will get my attention. You may not like it, but you will get it. Hell you probably will like it, because those children that threw fits to get their parents attention didn't care if they got their ass whipped, they just cared they got the attention. To end this rant today I am gonna say one more thing hybrid SUV, really?

Call me daddy...

There is a reason that we share so many traits in common. Lets look this over and think about it for a minute. For a large portion of time the Romans controlled Europe. They did this under the guidance of emperors or under the guise of a Pope. Yet the carved noses of the Roman is not the dominate trait in Europe. The Mongols gave a run through and tried to conquer and hold portions as well, yet not to many of their genes where left behind. It was not their physique that was admired in sculpture. The dominant traits sure as hell did not come from the Francs. Their decedents can not seem to win a war when any of them are in charge, and the national salute is both hands in the air devoid of arms.

So lets look at what is considered the attractive traits in men. What makes a man handsome. Ladies help me out here. Do you want some skinny squib that can crawl through a gutter, or do you want a man that can pick you up with ease? Do his shoulders set closer together then his hips making him look like a stick? Or does his torso look like and arrow pointing to his manhood? Is he a short man that can't order his own beer with out a step up, or is he the one that reaches over you to get the tankard off the top shelf?

The reason for this is that my ancestors were men. They where not curtailed into being submissive cogs in the machinery. They did not take a knee to anyone who felt the need to say that being in charge was their birth right. My people were feared by the Romans and the Moguls alike. Their leaders commanded respect or they did not command at all. My ancestors fought each day, not just because the land was a harsh mistress, but because it was what the fire inside them said to do. They grew strong because the worked for what they had, and fought to keep it. They had a need to adventure and see the world, though they did not see sense in claiming land that was not their own. They were not conquerors, but they had no objections to taking what they liked. This really applied if the person who possessed it before was to weak to hold it.

This also came to the woman of the world. Yes my ancestors where full of life and liked to party. They where the first stories of sailors going from port to port and giving what for. Not only did they raid the land and steal the cattle, they had their way with women. In doing so they left behind a lot of kids. Kids with theirs genes. Light hair, light skin, aggressive, and large enough to back that up. Rome built roads, but the people of the north built men. Celtic and Germanic tribes left a lasting impression on Europe, you can see it in the mirror.

I come from two genetic pools, neither of them pussies. So don't try to tell me what it means to be a man. Don't tell me to hide who I am because it hurts your sensibilities. Its not disdain you hold but a genetic memory of fear. Fear for your livestock, fear for your women, fear for your home. When you walk the beach do you feel that fear when you look out and see a mast on the horizon? Do you still freak out when you see a man or woman painted blue? If not then those genes are probably in you too. So stop being a pansy, embrace your birthright and man the fuck up. Own up to your mistakes, and except the praise of your success.

So many men now a days like to get in touch with their feelings, that's awesome as long as you are really getting in touch with your feelings, and not just using it as an excuse to puss out and cry because you didn't get your way. Aggression is a feeling, so is anger, desire, curiosity, pride, vengeance, conviction, and so many others. Do not be ashamed to feel them. They are not negative, you are just told that they are because some weak beaten hold over from some unconquered village tells you so. Being soft and cuddly is the job of a child's toy, and the is not my gig. Hell my wife is tougher then that. Those so called negative emotions are just that, emotions. They are tools, they are not the reason things are done, but they are how you get things done. Own them, do not let them own you.

So embrace those feelings, pay homage to your heritage and sack the fuck up. Think for yourself. Give your word when you mean it. Follow those that deserve it, and if no one deserves it, have the strength to stand on your own. Most of all stop sniveling. The world doesn't owe you shit. You can get what you want out of life though if you are willing to go get it. Scrape a knee, or worse get stabbed so far from home and who gives a shit, you at least tried. You lived life and stopped being a human being and remembered what it was like to be a human doing.

Sheep don't growl.

I do not want to feel better. I do not want someone to give me a pill to make me happy. I do not want to find my calm. I do not want to calm down. I do not want to just bow my head and take it like a social whore. I do not want people to use me. I do not want to smile while I am being fucked in the butt with a wooden splintered dildo and a sand paper condom. I do not want to accept things for what they are. I do not want to compromise. I do not want to bend like a tree in the wind. I am not happy being another spoon feed pussy.

I am okay with my anger. I understand my anger. I do not need to swallow and bury it down inside. If something is fucked up, why can't I say something about it. I do not want therapy to make me feel more calm or at ease with the world around me. I want me and the world around me to be better. I will be angry until people stop putting up with bullshit. Stop swallowing the crap that is shoveled on us. I have heard time and time again if you are not outraged you are not paying attention. You know what that is so true it hurts.

I have been told so many times to calm down, and that is just the way things are. Well let me tell you, I am a grown man, I have been around the world. I have been to war. I have enjoyed peace. I have been divorced. I am head over heels in love. I have been in lust. I have been satisfied. I have been lifted up and let down. Through all of this I have developed a pretty damn good sense of right and wrong. I am pretty sure I can tell if something is just. If something does not fit those guidelines for me I do not need to take a fucking pill to make me feel happy about it, I need to say something. I need to do something. I need to at least try to make it better.

I will stop being angry when people stop putting up with bullshit. I will stop being angry when I no longer have a reason to be angry. I will stop speaking out when there is nothing left to speak out about. If you have a problem with that, then get angry, say something about it. Don't take your Prozac, and and turn that anger inward. Anger turned inward is depression. Fuck penning it up. You made me have a problem so the results, my anger, should rightfully be your problem.

Fuck this politically correct spoon fed life style. I turn my judgment, not CNN's. I trust my ideals of right and wrong not some money grubbing hypocrite like Oral Roberts, or any of those other preachers telling me to be moral while they steal from people. Fuck hypocrites, don't tell me sex is bad, when you are sending pictures of your body to women other then your wife and talking dirty with them. Don't tell me that I can't masturbate to pornography when you can't even come out and tell the world you are gay. Focus on your own damn family, and until you get your shit right stop asking for my money or support asshole.

I am angry. I am okay with it. I don't hate everything. I just hate compromise for the sake of compromise. I hate complacency and apathy because they are easy. So fuck you very much, I will keep on thinking. I will continue to be angry and you can deal with it or shut the fuck up. How about you take the Prozac or get a lobotomy. I am not sheep. I am not a walking fucking sweater. I am a free thinking human being, and I have a voice. I am not another cog in the machine. I will not conform to your myth. I know whats right and you are not it. I am anger.

Simply complicated.

It is human nature to complicate things. Nothing can be simple. Simple is easy. Simple does not offer us the chance to glean more from our actions. Simple is boring. We love to complicate things to the point of inaction though. We have the habit of telling people we would do something if a set of impossible circumstances align. We like even the most mundane actions to be more complicated so we can generate drama around them to make ourselves feel more important. We complicate every fucking thing we touch.

You know that person that makes everything seem like a production? The person that demands center stage? Everything is a big deal for them. These are your pretentious assholes that order a double half calf pseudo soy mocha java latte with no more then two half shakes of cinnamon. These are the people that cry for the truth and then bitch when they get it. This evil habit though resides in all of us.

Why is that? What drives us to embrace that inner bullshit drama queen? Why do we need to complicate things? Well that is a simple thing. We like to feel more important then we are. I like to feel important, that is why I even bother to write this crap. Really what other purpose would it serve for me to share my thoughts with you people right, unless I want to the attention? I want people to notice me, so that when I die, I enjoy a small bit of immortality in the stories of others. Different stories, different people, either way I live on.

We as people feel we have to matter. I am here to tell you that you don't have to matter though. You want to be happy, stop doing crap for other people. Do it for yourself. Enjoy the simplicity of selfishness. Do what you want to do and do it with out fanfare. Who cares if some one sees you bungee jump, you enjoyed it right? Who fucking cares if you ran two miles or lost over eighty pounds. Why do you have to tell people? Why can't we just enjoy these actions on our own?

Once again we are simple creatures that like to complicate shit. We do this because we are human. We do this because humans are social creatures. We do this because as social creatures we adjust our happiness based on our own reflections of our social standing. We seek validation like a cheap guy at the mall with a parking stub.

So what I am saying is, it is okay to get attention, but it is not okay to live for it. Don't do things for the attention unless you are some weak will pussy that was was told by your Uncle Winky that you will not amount to shit. Do things because you want to, and accept the praise/attention that comes with those actions. You can keep things simple and live for yourself and still receive praise.

You do not need to take a shit and then fan the door warning the world not to go in there, but you can smile when someone goes in the john after you and almost vomits. We all shit, you don't need to tell everybody you did it like yours is special. Let them go in the proverbial toilet of life and tell you how special your shit is.

Live a simple life, in a over complicated world. Stop limiting your access to life with clauses and stipulations. If you don't want to do something, don't fucking do it. Telling your friends that you will eat asparagus if it is served on a blue plate that is warm, with a frosted gold plated fork, a side of baby seal kidney roasted with shaved onions from the amazon on a Wednesday at precisely at 3:43pm. How about say something like I don't care for asparagus and would rather not eat that pee tainting phallic shaped mockery of a vegetable?

Seriously people get the fuck over yourself and stop making shit harder then it needs to be. Stop trying to make yourself seem better based on the shit that happens to you, or the normal mundane crap that goes on in your life. Stop seeking praise for shit that really had nothing to do with you, other then you where there taking up space. Stop seeking praise. Its that fucking simple, stop seeking praise. Its almost like love in that regard. When you look for love you might get it, but its not the good kind. Its the kind you have to use a credit card for and typically have to go to the doctor afterward for a heavy dose of penicillin. When you stop looking for it, that is when it shows up. That is because praise is an attention grubbing whore like you, and when you stop paying attention to it, it has to do the silly dance all over your life so you will notice it.

This is just an observation. Something I have worked hard to bring into my life over the last few years and it has worked out for me so far. Humility is its own reward. Not needing others to have fun is like social masturbation, and you can do it in public without getting arrested.