In the last few days a few people who have been the focus of my ire, have been quick to say that I need to go to anger management. They are real quick to say that I need counseling through the VA, or some where. They say I am much more angry then I was before I left. While they may be right that I have come back changed I think that they are missing the point of the change.
First I am going to go on record that I am not more nor less angry then I was before I left. I think the major difference is not having the coffee shop. I do not have to be the huggy bunny social guy that I never was in order to make people I think are a waste of valuable 02, comfortable in my business. There are so many dead beat drama queens that walked through the door of the shop that if I told off all the ones I wanted to, I would never have had time to do business.
I am not anymore violent then the guy that left, if anything I am less so. When is the last time I hit someone with a stick for entertainment? I would like to get back into that, but no time as of yet. People who say my violence has been elevated obviously did not know me or speak to me before I went, or did not know me outside of the professional. Also do not confuse my low level of tolerance for stupid people, stupid actions, inflated drama or liars as violence. I have always spoke my mind and always will.
If I have threatened you with physical violence however, I will state that it most likely came with terms. That being I said I am going to hurt you if this or that happens. If you need me to paint it out further in more exact terms it would go something like this; If you touch my wife I will break your arm. If you touch her again I will beat with your own arm after I break it off you. To me that was reasonable before I left overseas, and still reasonable now.
So I can tell you I am managing my anger just fine. I have always allowed myself to be angry, and people seem to notice that a lot. I have also always allowed myself to love, and people do not seem to see that side as much. I have always allowed myself to use force when it is needed to protect or defend myself, my loved ones, or my property. I have also allowed myself the right to walk away from things not worth fighting over just for the sake of fighting over them. Most people are quick to notice the things I am willing to fight for, and ignore all the crap I let go.
So what does that say about most people? To me it says that they love to look for the negative. It tells me people would rather tear people down below them rather then lift themselves up to a higher level. It tells me it is easier for people to swallow the negatives of the world, rather then live with the positive things that are out there.
So no I do not need counseling. What I need is for people to stop being self serving assholes. I do not need to seek help. What I do need is for those negative turds to take a hint and stay out of my life. I do not need medication. What I do need is to surround myself with friends that challenge me and make me want to be a better me. I do not need to take a pill to make me happy. I allow myself to do that right fine on my own.
On that note I am gonna go take my tired butt off to bed. I am going to sleep soundly. I am going to wake up rested and attack a new day with a smile. Why because I am not an angry bitter crashed out war veteran that people seem to think is crazy and going to kill babies for fun. If you see the anger there is probably a reason, and I am not the one that needs help. You might want to look at what you are doing? Ask yourself are you twenty pounds of shit in a five pound sack? What did you do to deserve my ire?