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Monday, June 13, 2011

why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends,..

Friends are family you can you choose. Blood is blood, and while some people say its stronger then water, you can drink water. Blood is something I try to keep off my hands, and drinking it never quenched my thirst. That is the beauty of friendship, its pure, its clean, and it is something you can drink. Water wears down stones. Water breaks down all things. It is the great strength of the world. There is water in blood. So when it comes to the choices we make and life I choose water. My friends are my water.

Friends come and go in a persons like. Its part of who and what we are. Our interactions with people are what afford us a measure of who we are. It is through actions with other people we can measure how far we have come in this journey we call life. So they have an importance to us. It is understanding that friends are the family we choose, and we have to choose wisely who we award the title of friend. In that position of friend there are many degrees like a family. Some friends are like your brothers and sisters, others are like cousins or uncles, some are a distant niece or nephew. The only difference between the friends family and a blood family, you place people where they need to be according to you.

Your mother is your mother, and your father is your father. You don't get to pick them and hopefully you fall into some cool ones. If not, you can't make their baggage yours, and you can't blame them for all of life's woes. If your daddy was an alcoholic and ate your last cheeto, it only has the impact you allow it to have. If your ma ma was a crack ho, but some how you where born not addicted to crack them good on you, and you don't need to carry your ma ma's issues. You can choose to carry as much of the good and the bad of your birth family as you choose to.

Now how this reflects on your chosen family is simple. You can gauge a person by the quality of company they keep. The key to that is that you keep the company. You choose to surround yourself with users. You choose to surround yourself with sponges and leeches. You choose to surround yourself with people that lift you up, and challenge you. You can make the choice to be positive in your friendships or tolerate the negative. So think about the type of person you want to be and surround yourself with them.

Friendship is a two way street. Friendship is about offering help, companionship, entertainment, and growth. You need to be able to add to the pool as much as you draw out of it. How much you put in and how much another puts in can tell you where they are in your picked out tweaked out family tree. If the tree is healthy that is. Not very many are. Most trees are sick and dying.

Most people think they need to surround themselves with as many friends as they can to feel complete. They feel that their status in life is tied to how many friends they have, and the fall into the retarded school of quantity. Codependency is codependency. You put up with crap from people just so you can say you have enough friends to inflate your self worth. Its sick that you put up with negative bullshit from people so they feed you ego, when the very actions they do of using you actually further strip down your ego so you need more friends to compensate.

People either help you or hurt you, they rarely find the middle.


  1. You said it man. When I was younger it was always easy to break away from friends that I had outgrown, because we moved away. Now I'm finding it harder to get away from people who no longer fit in my life. It's a tough lesson to learn that's for sure. I've always believed it's the quality of your friends that matter, not the quantity. And I'm happy to include you in my inner circle :)

  2. This is all too true! Many people fall into being victims because of past circumstances. As adults, we have the mental capacity to change how we view things and what we choose to do with our experiences. We can learn from them and move on making adjustments here and there to thrive and grow, or we can lament that we didn't get that one particular toy as a child and so live our adult lives collecting junk to fill that "void".