What would YOU do... thats more important.

I find these times we live in to be way to interesting. People are talking about things and they seem ready to convince me on how wrong I am, rather than listen to both sides of a story. We are so focused on that being right rather than someones rights that we lose sight of the bigger picture. We lose sight of the things that should hold value. We lose sight of the issues that hold us together as a people. Our own sense of morality slips away, because we are so busy fighting each other one things that do not matter. How about these simple things that we can look into; If you do not agree with someone, why must they agree with you so that you can exist and be happy?

Look I really do not have any desire to put a dick on, in, or near my body, but I love it when a woman agrees to let me do it to her. At the end of the day if two dudes want to do that, what harm does it really do to me? I do not share my conquest with them in graphic detail, and most of the gay dudes I know share the same level of respect. It may be your religious views that say this is wrong, well that's fucking great. Its something you feel is wrong, so don't do it. It is not on you if somebody else decides to do it. That being said why are you still arguing about it?

Now if you really want to compare it something, and see where your views lie in this matter of extremism and oppression you do not need to look far to compare. You want to try and force your views on someone, lets look at the Westborro Baptist Church. These are people that even neonazi extremist think are assholes. They constantly tell people about what they feel is wrong. They constantly stick their noses in other peoples business. They constantly look to validate their morality by drawing you into it. Now think about that the next time you go spewing your personal views on people like they are some kind of manifesto. Which side of the line do you stand on when it comes to douchebaggery.

Extremes are extremes, does not matter if they are left or if they are right. Liberal Fascist are still fucking fascist. If you really have to push your views down other peoples throats to feel right about yourself than maybe you need to seriously think about where your weakness is. Why do you feel the need to force your views on others and what gives you the right to do so? I find it hard to talk to some of my friends on both sides of the spectrum, they see things their way, and they see them so hard their way that they fish and look for support of their views, and find it their personal mission to try and sway others to their view without giving ground on their own. I also have friends that have their views but will at least listen to yours, and that is the reason those people remain my friends, and the prior group typically do not last long.

In that later group, I have a bud that really wants to talk to me about opposing views about the Stolen Valor act. It boils down to him seeing that we have a constitutional right to lie, and me saying that is bullshit. While his argument thus far is very logical, and I can see his stance clearly, he really does have interest in hearing what I have to say. Even if it might just be to see how the other side thinks. In this you see the reason he is my friend. You see he sees the world very differently from me, and in this we both bring something different to the table. I also like to think that by talking to each other we stop ourselves from narrowing our field of vision like the WBC and other groups that are out there that feel their cause is so damn important that they have to cram it down our throats whilst we eat our dinners in front of the boob tube. The easiest way to become an extremist is to only hang out with people that think like you.

So the only thing I ask is that if you are seeing something, or hearing about something that really has no valid impact on you, other than it offends you, think about what you do about it. Think to yourself if you could see the WBC protesting it too, and how much of a douche you are for protesting it. At the end of the day, does it really affect you, or those you know if some stranger is getting laid? Does it really change who you are because your neighbor worships differently from you? Does it take food off your table if somebody gets a tattoo? What impact does it have on your life what people do with their own? Unless they are coming into your house and standing on your coffee table sharing their views like you do, do it really affect you in any way? If it continues to bother you than why not move to a country that shares your views and leave my Constitution alone.

Off my chest, nuff said.

Most people got through life and only really know sacrifice through the actions of others. We talk of the things that are worthy of sacrifice and I will say most of you have it completely fucking wrong. They speak mighty words of self importance and take ownership of deeds, like they were fucking there. Because your brothers friends cousin from high school was on a cruise ship in the gulf when the rest of the big boys were living in a shit hole that smelled like a rancid dead truckers ass. You see the sacrifice was not just the time that people shot at you. The sacrifice was not about all the yellow ribbon barbeques held in your honor that you had to miss. It sure as hell was not yours to claim, or say that you had a part of this just because you went to Wally World and bought a yellow magnet to slap on the back of your sheep hauler.

You see what the real sacrifice was, well it was in the time you spent waiting. It was in all the lines. It was in the process of the process that the mighty military machine rolls on. Fill this form, wait here. You can't go until everyone is ready. It was in those things that people will not understand that could not be there. The short cans of bliss we called RipIt's. It was in that banner of truth and justice we call the PT belt. It was in some desk jockey TOC roach, yelling at you for having your sunglasses around your neck, on your head, or sticking out of a pocket after you just spent those hours he was getting his failed attempt at beauty sleep riding in an oven on wheels just waiting for some guy to take a shot at you that you will never hear coming.

It is in that you find true sacrifice. I truly believe that the military is compromised of the nations elite, simply based on our ability to creatively deal with bullshit that most people in the rest of the world would not, or could not, understand. The sacrifice of your sanity, and the sacrifice of you ability to relate to anyone else after this experience. The constant state of high alert that rarely results in these glorious actions that other people had before you. Its that paranoia of garbage on the side of the road. Its hating a whole fucking culture because they took away the innocent joy of your favorite holiday, because fireworks now make you think other things for the first few seconds.

You get to hear about how assholes that never seen a military contract want to change or modify yours and not release you from your obligation in the process. Yeah you all want your free health care, well let me grab my helmet because I will go fight for you to get retarded shit. Our country can barely pay its contracts and obligations to those that it said it would, and now they want to renege on that agreement and start making the VA take co-pays. Yet we just say yes sir, keep our heads down and bitch about it under muttered breath. This is yet another sacrifice that you guys will not understand.

If I hear one more politician talk about all the sacrifices Americans have to make in order to restore the country to its rightful place, well that is when I see a lot of us not bowing our heads anymore. I see us lowering our shoulders and taking a T-Rex like posture that others will call the low ready, and the civilian call of duty playing ass hats. Seriously if one more person tells me how much of a sniper bad ass they are, or how they are so gonna own the world around them with their ninja skills, it just makes me check if the weapon is on safe. Its a slow slide of the thumb to correct that, and so many other things wrong with the world.

You see the sacrifice is not yours to claim. It is not yours to wave around with pride. You are not my fucking family. If you are in my family than my honor is yours to share, but even this the sacrifice is mine or solely that of the person that actually made the damn sacrifice. So please stop telling me you understand. Please stop telling me all the great ideas you have to fix shit. Understand I actually have not issues with my job. Understand that I look forward to the next time my country calls. I look forward setting in dark places with those of higher character. I look forward to being free of broken promise. I look forward to the sacrifice of sanity. I look forward to a gaggle fuck reigned tightly by a PT belt wear sunglasses in the middle of the night on the way to the port-a-shitter.

Happy Feat.

So here I am doing the irresponsible and taking a break from homework. This is turning out to be a very droll assignment. However in the research that I am doing I have found some interesting things out, and even moved into other realms of thought. You know that means that I compulsively share them with you all. Why? Not because I care, or need the accolades of my adoring fan. It is because sharing these thoughts gets them out of my head, and then into yours like an annoying song you only hear a bit of and hum the rest of the day.

So in looking into my paper, I am delving into the scales of maturity in regards to politics. Looking at the more mature paths that a political movement can take, and gauging their potential too succeed based on the resulting behavior of those choices. In looking at the variety of potential paths and choices that political movement can take, and the means they use to move down that path, I have seen correlations between movements, and us as individuals. There is a gauge we can see the success of a person based on their choices, and their ability to cling to things.

So in this you see the young minded put all their eggs in one basket, they link to an idea or concept that has failed before, or is so idealistic that it removes the possibility of realistic success. The juvenile mind likes to fantasize about things and make them more glorious than they really are. It is almost like our memory works to do that one thing we can't seem to do. Our mind, if in a group or all by itself, seems to want to really allow us to be happy. It will even lie to us, the keepers of its gray matter, to force us to be happy.

You want proof, think about your first love, or maybe a loved one. What comes to mind first. What thoughts do you have of them? How polished are those thoughts? How much effort do you have to make to get tot he shit they did that pissed you off? How much do we delude ourselves to be happy? How much do we cling to failed concepts to be happy? You see the key to this is to understand that our brains want us to be happy, and they do not care how we get there. It takes those things that we think make us happy, and it then fabricates our perception of reality around those things. It does this with the best intentions in order to make us think that we are truly happy.

So why is it so important to be happy that we lie to ourselves? Why do we need so bad to be happy? Well I say the answer is simple, why the fuck not? We inhibit our own happiness because we do not think we are worthy and we continue to cling to the idea of happiness and make ourselves much more miserable than we should be. We deny ourselves indulgences based on the perceived value that our own lies have given us. We tell ourselves that because we were happy with X person, that we need another person to be happy. Bullshit. We tell ourselves that we need X thing, because one moment when we thought we were happy we had that thing, and we can only be happy again if we have another thing to do the same thing.

Happiness is not Disney Land, or a gun range with free ammo. Happy is not something that is done to you, but rather something that you allow yourself to be. It should not be mistaken for comfort, because compliance is apathy, not happiness. Happy is not making sure everybody else agrees with you, that fucking compliance dumb ass. Happiness is often the gift of the young, because their minds have not lied enough to them to confuse them. They can just be happy without reason, where the hell do we lose that as a person? What age do we turn to and decide that happiness can not just be happiness without external factors?

So in that, I am not a commodity to be traded. I am not a thing to own or possess. I am not a goal. You should not be either. I am happy when I want to be, which is more often than not. I do not need anyone in my life to be happy. I do not need those consumer goods to be happy. I do not need anyone to tell me how to be happy, nor do I need their permission. This happiness is mine and it is stronger, because it is more mature and based on reason. It is that childhood bliss, but it is a bliss I understand and appreciate. So if you can't understand that, you don't need to regulate it, modulate it, or try to restrict it. You can find it on your own without trying to take it from me. Try it, and then you will see those rare moments when I am not happy and I will smile like Agent K when I defend my happiness by all the means it deserves. I am the center of my own universe, centered with myself, but not self centered. There is a difference. Oh yeah, I am also happy, and if you are not, get the fuck over yourself. Leave me be.

Please Think Stop Douching

I want to explain something today. It is something simple that people just do not seem to understand. Just because you have gone to bad places and seen bad things (maybe even done bad things) does not mean you are a nut job. Seriously I am not going to stab you in the neck in the line at the bank because I am going to have some Hollywood flash back. If I stab you in the neck, its probably because you're a zombie and I am trying to get your head off, or you really need a good stab in the neck. Some people are assholes and are only responsive to a good killing. It really does not have much to do with the places I have gone or the things I have seen. A douche is a douche, it just so happens that having been in doucheholia (in place of other random shit hole's country name that we engaged in aggressive peace keeping with.) I am a little more in tune with detecting the presence of a douche in all all its forms.

I do not need you to walk on eggshells in my presence. If anything that pisses me off. I do not need you to make excuses for me to the general population. You ever stop to think that maybe I was this brash and outspoken before I went overseas? Or maybe it was that whorehouse in Thailand that screwed with my sense of morality, more so than any other military operation. Holy crap, you mean I could have always been this guy but you have a need to justify my behavior so you can claim to be some PC in the now pop culture tree hugging butt wipe? Seriously, do you have one of those yellow magnets on your gas guzzling bright red hummer? I should beat you with it, not because of PTSD, but because you are a self righteous douche nozzle. (Once again refer to the previous statement in regards to experience and the ability to locate said class of people.)

I also want to say that unless you are washing my underwear, I am not your damn project. I do not need to be coddled. I am not a item to collect. We are not fucking trading cards. I will however be happy to make you walk funny for a week if you think that somehow you are doing your civic duty by adding me to your social harem of good causes. This means you do not get to ask me out for dinner and a movie, and this whisper about me to your friends. Even if I was as broken as you morons think I am, how sick is that? Do you go around humping the leg of every kid with down syndrome so you can claim to have done your civic duty? Admit it, the reason you are down for it is completely selfish. It is hard to find someone as stand up, honest and as bad ass as a military service member. Having served makes you stand out, and on the other side of the sexes, tell me you can think of something hotter then a fit chick that can shoot an assault rifle better than you?

So while that hippie asshole was off protesting the war, one of us creeped backed and banged the hell out of his girl friend. Why is that? Well because she knew she was getting a man, a real man. Some one that was willing to stand up for what he believed in, and for that matter what your hippie pansy ass believed in as well. It was not about being compassionate to the needs of a broken person. It was a selfish experience. It might be night to have spent at least one nice of your life with a man. Hell I see their point, military ladies are pretty damn hot if I say so myself. At least the ones that are not but ugly trolls that were but ugly trolls when they were civilians. I am saying a lady that understands that putting on that uniform is so much more than a political statement about women's rights, and knows its about defending the rights of EVERYONE.

So please do not be amazed when I cut you down publicly for trying to relate, understand, or empathize with my "plight". I am not broken dick, I am just tuned in a little different. Do not attempt to rationalize or justify my behavior to others when you have no fucking clue how or why I think the way I do. My priorities are pretty damn straight. I have no desire to tell you HOW to live your life, give me the same respect, after all it was me and mine that gave you the right to live that way to begin with. Oh and playing Call of Duty for over a hundred hours does not mean you know dick about being in the military. You want a closer experience to model you empathy on? Try sitting in a muddy hole eating three day old McDonalds out of a plastic bag with tweezers, while your are suffering from sleep deprivation, and have someone take a huge hairdryer set on high blowing sand in your face. Do this while reading a letter from someone talking about how their life has trivial issues that you really do not see as important and that because they can't handle that, that they no longer want to be in your life. And then be careful were you step when you get up to piss, because some other self righteous douche bag coward is going to try to blow you up because he can't face you with his issues because he knows he is not as trained, disciplined or motivated as you. All he has is a cracker jack cause, much like the assholes that try to make us their pet projects of understanding and social awareness.

So seriously, just because someone served your country, does not mean they are broken. You have no right to meddle in their life. You are not entitled to collect them, or coddle them. You do not have to treat us any different than you treat your other neighbors. Please stop pretending like there is some great understanding because you read some book by some guy that never wore a military uniform, but read a lot of other books from some other guys at some school his mommy and daddy paid for. This has been a public service announcement, brought to you by the letter F and the number U.

Fight or flight, I hate to run.

So many people fear confrontation, and I will say that I understand this fear. Life though is just a series of confrontations stacked on top of each. You see confrontation are interactions and you can not go through life without them. They will come for you. That is life. Every body else wants what everybody else has, and some people are not wired to fear confrontation, so they will come after yours. So in this you can not avoid it. You will endure suffering in life, and through that suffering (if you are not an emo twat) you will understand joy.

Now there are those that move through the back field and enjoy their own kind of confrontation. These are a different variety of predator. They are not bad people per-say, but they are predators that people typically do not see. These are the smaller predators that know they are not the strongest. They know that the shadows hold their strength. They will not take someone down in an open fight, so they use soft words and the shadows to do their work. These are the ones most people fear to confront more than most. Maybe it is not fear but pity. It seems okay to watch nature videos of predators as long as they cute little fuzz balls that makes precious human like gestures. Its almost like you would rather get your ass kicked by Barney or some other talking muppet, and you would feel bad if someone saw you choke slamming this childhood icon. Being purple does not change the fact that he is a prehistoric predator dancing for the entertainment of our children.

So these people are masters of looking like a harmless creature, and many times they exemplify a trait that we have an inborn instinct to offer pity. Most times they are socially retarded or just plain stupid. Most times that is just a perception that is held by the masses. They use this like a shield as they drop soft spoken words to manipulate those around them for their entertainment, or personal gain. They have a different value system, and what you consider negative attention will most likely just be attention to them. They play to the perceived weakness, knowing full well that if you attack them or stand up for yourself that you will perceived as that guy that kicked the snot out of Barney.

More times then not they will use your ability to engage in conflict as a tool against you. They will bait you into public confrontation so that they can say that you are the violent evil bad guy and a bully. I have been accused of being a bully many times in my life. Those that know me know those words hold no truth. The real deal is that I am not afraid of confrontation. I also have no patience for predators and parasites. I also do not care if people try to use my actions to generate their own personal drama, because fear of social ostracism is not enough to deter me from doing the right thing. Sure I have fears, and I hate being alone in this world as much as the next guy, but whats the point in being sociable if you have nothing left of yourself that is redeemable.

So you can fear confrontation, but never avoid it if it is necessary. I fear losing myself and my principles more than having others view me negatively because I do not fit well into their perception of this peaceful fantasy. Life is conflict. You hide from conflict you hide from life. Peace is knowing you can stand up to conflict and hold onto your values. That peace comes from people not fucking with you, because they know they will not get more from you than they are deserving of. It is also not taking things from people, and not just shit, but those things that are not yours to take.

Note that by standing up and scaring off those predators that lurk in the shadows of society, that you are contributing to your "tribe" in a most positive fashion. This is something that many people can not understand but often reap the rewards of. In your own way you are protecting your family by letting those social vampires that your tribe is not and should not be their hunting ground. Your family may not be happy about it, but it is akin to smacking down a kid that is trying to sell drugs to your kid. They may not like that you ran the "cool" kid, but later in life they will appreciate it if they gain that wisdom that comes with understanding.

Simply the way it is

Today's edition is the cultivation of a train of thoughts that goes back a few years. People accuse me over over simplifying things, yet a lot of people come to me for advice. So maybe that is just what we need, to go back to simpler times, were the shadows did not hold such loathsome dealings and only concealed those monsters our parents killed with a light switch. There was no need for layers and layers of half truths and words so large that even lawyers have to look them up to define them. What is wrong with living in a place, time and mind set were shit is, what shit is. You ate because you were hungry, not because someone told you too. You played outside and connected with your neighborhood. The most stressful thing you had to do was get the lid off your finger paints. In simpler times it is easier to know what is important, and what is good and bad.

Now the metaphor of childhood is the easiest way to bring this simple life to the front of our cluttered minds. It is not a bad way to live and think, it does not make you immature, but it can lead to cooties. To simplify ones life is simple. It comes down to a phrase I have used many many times "Get the fuck over yourself." It is our over inflated sense of self importance that makes things complicated and draws us into a world were we not expect and accept the complications of others, we can not see our world with out them.

Now I hear the heads tilting. Am I telling you to forgo your ego? Me the king of ego, that most of the people that do not like me, do not like me because they think I am an ego maniac with a cocky attitude. Seriously you people are retarded. Yes I ma awesome, and not all of you can be as awesome as me, but try being as awesome as you and stop worrying about my level of awesome. I am not cocky, I am just confident. Why do I say this, that my friend is a simple answer. Catching the theme here? I am confident, I know my limits and I push them back the best I can each day of my life. If I can't climb a mountain, I train and study. If I do not understand something that grabs my interest, I train and study. I do not let worry and people telling me I can't do something hold me back. I push my limits in the hopes that one day when I am in Valhalla I will be limitless. This is where my confidence comes from, and it is a simple childish wonder that just grew up with me.

You see you can be self centered, but you do not have to be self-centered. That is to be centered in ones self as opposed to being self absorbed. This is understanding that the only thin you have control over is you, and that when you lose control over you, you give it to other people. It is sad when you see someone struggle to be something they are not, and even more so when you see them doing it so wrong that it looks like sixteen monkeys trying to hump the same football. I try to help people, but some can not be helped because they are doing this posturing for all the wrong reason. They are doing it because they can not get over themselves at all.

You can not love another, until you love yourself. You can not trust another, until you trust yourself. You have to be good at all those things in your life that you want to share, but you need to turn them inward before you can turn them out. In this look at those that hate so well and ask yourself what is it that they hate so much about themselves that allows this to be? I do not hate because I love myself to much. I am able to do this because I keep things simple. I keep other peoples complex drama out of my life.

I judge things by how they effect me and mine. I try to keep it as simple as possible. This is good for me so I keep it around. This is bad for me so I let it move on. I do not see a reason to lay blame on people, but I do think people should own up to their issues. This also means you have to own yours. Sometimes there is a problem and its a problem that needs to be solved, why waste to much energy looking at who to point the finger at and just fix the damn problem and worry about that crap later. If your house is on fire, do you look for someone to blame, or do you put the fucking thing out?

So be simple in deed, but not simple minded. It is the balance that brings happiness not either extreme. If something is good, enjoy that it is good. If something is bad, understand it is bad. Your happiness is not tied into the submission of others, and how you few my ego is not my problem. I do not desire your validation, nor do you require mine. You walk with people through life because you want to, not because you need them. The minute you need someone it becomes something different (see codependency) but it is more than okay to share your life with someone from want. It makes it so much sweeter while you are here. For this to happen though you need to simply get the fuck over yourself.

Bias a way

In a recent discussion in that place of higher learning I seem to gravitate towards, I was given something to chew on. In this I gained an understanding that I did not have before. In this discussion we talked about research, and questioning the sources of another. Passion overrode reason, and belief in an idea was so blinding that all they could see was the idea. It was too this concept that adherence was firm, and it did not matter the evidence that was presented. The question was simple and easy, you know the ones that people seem tot struggle the most with. In this we curbed the conversation in order to proceed with class.

Those of you that know me, know full well that if something is this thought provoking and can stimulate this much heated debate, it should be pondered. Now I am not going to make my best attempt to write here. I know this, so please bare with me. I am damn exhausted. It is actually hard right now to keep my eyes open and make my fingers type my words. This of course is based on the satisfaction of purpose and not just because of some self inflicted misery. I have spend the last week solid, helping my neighbors in this state, my fellow citizens, in a time of great need. Now in helping them my body has been tested and pushed, but my mind was left to chew on this concept of truth.

You see we as a people are biased. In most cases people will admit their bias, but rarely to the degree it really has a hold on their heart. Rarely do we really wrap words upon this concept that are worthy. Also no matter how hard we look into things, it is truly hard to understand the depth and control that predilection has on our views. I also know that this is going to piss off more than a few people as I try to give this physical form, from my weary mind. First and foremost I want to get the greatest offender out first. No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you will never get bias out of your view less you have no mind. Yep I said it, you are a bigoted asshole. On the flip side, so am I. We litter our thought process with preconceived ideas that we agree with, and you can not escape them.

In this we limit our views and claim to have found truth when ever we find things to support our vision of what is true. We declare that our view must be the wisest and cling to one sided facts. No matter what we can not be wrong. This must be the truth because of this number, or that number. We see this more and more as the election approaches. We see this personal slant and view of what they feel is truth. We see this picture we paint and start to apply our own bias and shape the world to our truth, or at least the way we see this world.

The real secret is getting more people to agree with you does not make you right. Having less people agree with you does not make you the keeper of the hidden truth. Actually you grab to tight to either of those extremes you find that number of people you call friend dwindle. Extremes suck on either side, and the easiest way to become an extremist is to surround yourself with people that agree with you. Just because you found one thing to support your ideas, or found a way to sway the written word to reflect your view of an issue does not make you right.

The wisdom I gained from this thought process is actually pretty shitty. My conclusion is that because of our own bias we as a species can rarely capture truth in its purest form. We can rarely if ever tell a truth other than our own. To further this is it equally difficult for us to see anything other than our view of the truth. Pure truth though is universal and not written. It is something you just know is the truth. Not because if feels good, but because it is just right. Most times we ignore that little voice in our gut, because we like the one that makes us feel warm and fuzzy. Damn its so easy to stroke our own ego huh.

No here is were my brain is hurting, and I am sure that I will wrap my mind around this after I get more than eight hours of sleep, and get the smell of ash and soot from my nose. Understand that no matter how fucking cool you think you are, you are biased. No matter how smart you think you are your own interest will influence how you interpret data that is presented to you. You can not free yourself from yourself no matter how cool you think you are. Now you want to not be a douche think about this, and ask yourself are you doing the right thing or the good thing. Are you doing what is actually good for your tribe, or what you think is good for your tribe? Stop being a douche and trying to pour your truth on others and admit your own damn bias. Understand it, and maybe you will just be a little less of a douche.