In this life we are lost little souls seeking to be more than what we are or what or trying to live up to what we could be. We are given images of what we are supposed to be. Advertising, social groupings, employment, school, we are all told about what we can be, what we should be. This is the life we are given. We drool through worried about labels. Labels on our clothing, labels on that little placard that sits on the front of your desk. Each one adds to the walls of the box that we build around our little life. We are other peoples aspiration, we are lost little souls trying to live up to other peoples potential.
We are the defined borders of our possessions and the untold expectations of the perfect painted relationships we see on TV. In this we are lost little souls. We see ads of men with chiseled airbrushed bodies in woman's underwear. Men with faces of little girls. Beards trimmed like pubic hair on prom night. These are part of the standards of too which we are told we need to judge ourselves as men. We are told we need to be better men by getting in touch with our feminine side. If I need to touch my feminine side I will go to the club and find some lady that is good enough to let me touch her feminine side.
We as men are losing those things that define as men. Many times we want to fight, but have never been in fight. We do not know how to anymore, because we are told that fighting for things is not the right thing to do. Conflict never resolves anything right? On that I think about the few ass hats that have been on the wrong end of an M4 placed carefully in the loving hands of a well trained U.S. soldier. That problem was solved, and was staying solved. So in that you find the subtle brilliance and simplicity of violence. Now this is not the best solution to all issues, but you have to admire the basic linear resolution that is offered in letting out your aggression with the focused purpose of conflict resolution. To me it is summed up there, its conflict and it needs to be solved. Conflict is violence, and if you resolve conflict with violence are you not fighting fire with fire?
We are our the sum of our own pent up desire. You have an animal in your heart that wants to run free. It wants to consume those things that bring it fulfillment and comfort. It does not want an Oscar or the adoration of its peers. It does not want the initials of another man on the very garments that contain restrain their penis. This animal is not good or bad, it simply is. It does not contemplate the life of the bunny as it consumes it flesh. It does not think about the goals and ambition of the other animal that tried to hurt its family or pack, as it tears out its throat. Problem solved, problem staying solved.
This is a lustful creature that resides in the heart of men. It is not to be restrained or trained. You have to let it out to run, or one day after it builds up. In the process of building it up it will lash out like a cornered and starved animal. It is then that it does "bad" things. This is when we are confused and we look into the eyes of this animal in us, and it scares us. So we run back to our labels, and airbrushed dreams. We try to consume our way to bigger chains to restrain who we are. We are no longer John Wayne. We are becoming Justin Beiber.
So next time you are standing in line at Wal~Mart to buy those things that help define you as a person, think about that growling you hear in your soul. When is the last time you let your man beast out for a run? When is the last time you let the beast know who the master was? Do not fear the dog in you, it will only breed contempt. Oppression just starves it and makes it want more. It makes it hungry and desperate and it will hurt more when it finally bites you. Take it out, embrace that primal you, and you find the one true loyal servant. In that you will find balance. That balance is peace. That peace is you. This is the first step to being a man.