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Friday, December 9, 2011


I am shutting my brain down for the weekend. I am going to stop thinking for a bit. I am not going to share any deep thoughts. I am not going to search my soul for the reasons why. I will tell you what I am going to do though. I am going to let go. I am going to watch grown men beat the crap out of each in a cage. I am going to embrace my primal nature. I will consume the substances I need to quiet my brain. Those loud brain cells shall be silenced. I will not worry about what I eat. I will not mind my caloric intake. I will not worry about the high fructose corn syrup. I will not worry about the mindful positions we jockey for. I will not concern myself with the addictions we hold so dear. I will let go.

 I will not run in the race, I will run in the field when it suits me. I will free myself from the concerns of labels, merchandising, market positions, images of the perfect body, programmed responses, I will have an experience. I am not going to have a near death, not a live changing experience, I am simply going to have an experience.

Letting go, enjoying the moment and nothing more. I will do things on my own time. I might just do nothing on my own time. I am going to do all the things that I need to do and understand that I really do not need to do anything. Oh this is going to be a weekend. I am glad I can shut my brain down. I am glad I can let my mind go. It needs a break, and I am tired of others telling me what I need to do. I know damn well what is right and wrong without getting it as a ticker feed on the bottom of my television. Somethings they say are wrong are not wrong, they are just counterproductive to their mission to keep the heard inline.

I am going to actually enjoy a weekend of freedom. Its been awhile since I have really truly tasted freedom. No restraint. No obligations. Just pure bliss and free thought. This is not chaos. It is not random acts of kindness, or violence. This is not me imposing my will on the world, or letting its will be imposed on me. It is not giving into or resisting any thought or idea. It is simply being free.

I am looking forward to dancing with my old friend. Do I have plans, sure I do. They are things I want to do, there is a schedule sure, but this is not about the schedule or baking a cake. It is not a recipe for life. This is just a weekend of dancing in the smoke. For the next 72 hours, I am just going to enjoy playing the game. 

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