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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Just because your paranoid doesn't mean you are not a douche.

We as a people have a tendency to think in work case scenarios. I am not sure if we are conditioned by Hollywood or if we have taught ourselves to be so pessimistic that it is the only way we can function. For example lets say your find out your neighbor is a registered sex offender. Now with this knowledge what are the first things that pop in your head. Do immediately think of personal fear? Is this person going to rape me? Maybe you are thinking of the safety of the children. Everybody always thinks of sexual assault or pedophilia. The reality is not that extreme.

I know for people that have had to register as sex offenders, and they have to do so for the rest of their life because of some minor offense that some politician crusaded against and added to the list of sex crimes. Did you know that if you are taking a piss on the side of the road and someone sees your junk, and they call the cops, or if its a cop who sees you, that this is a sex crime. One of my friends had consensual with a seventeen year old girl, he was sixteen. For some reason he is registered as a sex offender and she had nothing on her record. Incidentally those two are married to each other and are approaching their twenty year anniversary.

We like to assume the worse of everything because it is more dramatic and entertaining. We also use this thought pattern to cripple our choices. We talk ourselves out of trying new things all the time because we fixate on the worst case scenario. Oh I can't ever go skydiving because I might jump out of the plane and get hit by a low flying jet, bounced into the tractor beam of an alien space craft where they would reassemble my broken body to anal probe me without lube only to toss me back down to the earth to see if my DNA would merge with that of a cow at high velocity. Why do we limit ourselves in this way? Why do we only become the most creative when we are fixated on the negative bullshit in life?

The question is what do we do when we get caught in this negative thought pattern? How do we stop assuming the worse when we prove ourselves right? I mean we thought that last relationship was going to end with a rabbit in a pot boiling, while our bed was lit on fire and all of our worldly possessions where taken to goodwill when that person moved out? Part of that might have come true, and if so you violated the first rule of dating. (Never stick your dick in crazy) However it did not all come true, but we like to make these things in our life a big dramatic affair. I mean it has no meaning if it doesn't come with a show right?

I tell you what, try this, breath. Think about what you are doing and then think about what you are thinking about. Then ask yourself if this was coming out of another persons mouth would you laugh? If so then it is probably silly. Ask yourself do you know all there is to know, and if not the mystery might offer an adventure of its own. Do you know the facts or are you assuming to know the facts? Why fly off the handle when you will get further if you leap from solid ground.

Life is to short to waste it on worry. Worry does nothing for you, but negative things. Lets say that you do have a psychopathic serial rapist that loves to poison fruit loops with arsenic on days that sun turns blue during the sunset. If that guy is going to eat your uncooked flesh what does worry change about it. Try being rationale instead of stupid. If you can do this and find your calm, life will become oddly more enjoyable for you and those around you.

So once again stop letting fear rule your life, be real in what you think might go wrong. Everyhting is not what it seems, and big brother really does know a lot about you, but if you are not being a window licking smacktard who cares? Chase your dreams and stop trying to validate your nightmares. Its not the end of the world, we have another year for that.

1 comment:

  1. Decisions made from a place of fear are usually bad ones. FYI, it's no longer a sex offense to get caught peeing by the side of the road in Colorado. You can thank Rep Steve King of Grand Junction for stopping that stupid law. He's married to one of my sister's highschool friends.