Today I was poked. Not the Facebook type, or the late night come hither type of poke. Today I was poked as in the sleeping wolf is harassed to see if it will jump up and snap. The letch decided to take an invitation to try and rile me up. In the process this waste of flesh got me thinking about something. So perhaps for the first time in his vain self centered life, he was useful to another person. So if you do not like reading my emotional angry post, perhaps now would be a good time to stop.
You see I am actually really upset at people that keep using PTSD as a venue to brush off my comments on their character and well being. You see they feel they can get away with bad mouthing me, and people like me under the guise of compassion and concern. First let me say that this trip to the sandbox had changed me, but not in the way people would expect. I have seen more violence and death when I lived in LA. I seen more gun fire in one trip to any major city in the US. So to even think that PTSD is an issue shows how weak their mind and their argument is.
Yes I am a soldier, no shit Dick Tracy, took you some gray matter to figure that one out huh? Yes my job involves aggression. Yes I carry a loaded weapon and have no issues doing harm to those that are the enemies of my country. That however does not make me stupid. Yes when people open their lying mouths, my first reflex is to slam my fist into it and rip out their vocal cords. Being a soldier is not the main contribution though to my personal choice of negotiation techniques.
I really hate when people try to tie my military experience to my reactions to their douchebaggery. I have not changed, the situation has. I no longer have a business that requires me to be more diplomatic. You see putting up with people was a requirement in order to keep the doors open. At least I thought that way. If I had to do that again though, I would not have a business personality, I would just be me and fuck those that can't deal with it.
Yes I have been accused of being overly simple in my world view, and I am not seeing a thing wrong with that. War did not give me that view, life did. So do not feign understanding and claim I am mad dog that needs to be put down because of events in a war zone shaping my world view. My world view has always been this way, you are just seeing it more because I don't need to keep my mouth shut to run my business. Yes it is extreme, and if you are good or bad for me, my family, or my friends then you are bad and I will not tolerate you in my life. This has nothing to do with my mentality but everything with that person being a douche.
So seriously think about what you use as an excuse for someones behavior. All you do when you accuse someone of being effected you build a case for your lazy judgment. Yes all the events of our life shape us and our reactions effect who we are. The key though is all of the events. So take the time to consider that before you speak out against someone. We all make choices based on who we are, and shape who we will become. It is fluid in reaction, but sedimentary in establishing our foundations. So yes one event, or even one year, can have effect on who we are, but how we deal with that was shaped in all the years before.
So the attempt to try to sum me up, or discount my actions based on a small part of who I am is just ignorant. Doing that is something we do to people all the damn time though, and its weak. I don't like to be around weakness though. Do I judge people, sure, who doesn't. The difference is I do not judge people on the events of their life events, but rather their deeds. Those are based on their actions and a reflection of their true character. I do not hold their parents being alcoholics against them. I do not offer the things that happened to them as an excuse for their behavior. Behavior is a choice. I stand by my choices.