Sucky Sucky Now

So today I ask you an important question, does your life suck, or do you suck? You see the level of sucktacular people strive for directly affects the proportion of crap in their life. It is simple physics. You create a vacuum of coolness in your life and things get sucked in. The things that get sucked in are too weak to stand on their own. So they are draw to your suckiness. This includes other foreign bodies that are attracted to suckiness. So things that spew out stuff are naturally attracted to the sucktacular.

Let us contemplate this? Take a total asshole for example. What does an asshole do? It defecates and spews waste. The amount of crap shoveled out by an asshole in their life span is amazing. Americans release 108 million pounds of poop every single day. 4.5 million pounds an hour. 39.4 billion pounds a year. This is easily attracted to a vacuum that is produced by those that suck. So if you are constantly wading through shit, ask yourself how much do you suck? Also if you are buried in tons of crap, why do you sit there? You know in life you can move forward, it is hard for a vacuum to move.

So now do you really suck, or does someone you hang out with suck? Or maybe all the people you think are friends suck? Now sucking can be a good thing, but it better mean a part of my body is in your oral cavity, though most people mistake that action for blowing. Common misconception. However very few actions that derive from sucking are actually cool, this is why we renamed it into a n action that does not suck. Suck job sounds so horrible. Back to the point though, do you suck or is it those around you that suck, and they tell you that you are one of them? Is it guilt by association? If so stop associating with them, and get better friends. You are as cool as you want to be, and if people are telling you are not cool, they probably suck, and are looking to suck the life out of you.

Sucking can draw you to another object, and in this case you can be taken some cool places. Think of the lamprey on the side of the shark. Sharks do cool shit, and they never stop moving. This is why sucky people cling to you in the event that you do not suck. If you do suck you can choose to stop sucking though, and go places on your own. You can find you won happiness, and stop being so damned worried about what the people around you have or don't have. That is a sucktard train of thought. So either knock of the lamprey's (parasites) or stop being one. Use your own feet to move you, rather than sucking onto someone else and trying to be cool by proxy.

Sucking does nothing for anybody. For you, it gets you no where in life. You have to be reliant on others to move forward. If you are surrounded by suckiness then you must drag their fat asses with you as you plod through life. You will move much faster when you drop those leeches. So stop sucking or stop being sucked into stupid. The poverty mentality that things can not get better, is a defeatist sucking ass attitude. You can do what ever the hell you want, and the only thing holding you back is the universal gravity of suckiness. Fight the suck. It will suck out your smart.

Now a good way to deal with suck, is to introduce it to suck. Then sucky things can hand with sucky things and create their own black hole of misery. As this mass gets greater they can form their own political party, and you can find them easier. In space you can find black holes by their absence of light. They are created through destruction and the death of a large star. They gather everything around them and consume their mass, offering little or nothing in return. So they are easy to find and you can stay away from those train wrecks. This works well with people too. If people make friends quickly, then you know they have to do it often. This tells you they suck the life out of people and should be a warning to you. Beware the black hole! This is why I do not engage in anal sex.

If someone is not going anywhere in their life, and they only offer excuses, this is probably a sign that they totally suck. So stay the hell away from them. If you are only offering excuses, you no longer need to ask yourself why I am not hanging out with you. You take, and take, why the hell would I want to hang out with someone that sucks that much? I maybe called an asshole, but I have no reason to give you any shit. I am not here to feed you, or impress. I do not give a shit, much less a fuck. Stop sucking, or don't get butt hurt when I don't choose to hang out with you.

My Will be done

Last Will and Testament

I, the undersigned, Jesse I. Walter

of Denver Colorado.

I hereby declare this to be my Will. I hereby revoke all previous wills or testamentary writings made by me. I nominate the the Governor of Colorado to be the Executor of my Estate. Should he/she be unwilling or unable to act as executor, I nominate the first person to report in with the best geocached item (to be determined by vote of all entries, and you can not vote for yourself.)

I direct that the executor of my estate shall be required by the Court or other competent authority to give security for proper performance of his/her duties. First let it be said that I would would like people to say share my last day on Earth with me. I do not cry if you cry, but I would be happier if you smiled. I would love nothing more than to be surrounded by friends and I would love those friends to become friends. I will encourage this behavior by requesting no less than three kegs of beer (variety chosen by the executor) to be available at my wake. These kegs will need to be emptied prior to my funeral, or all of my worldly possessions will be donated to charity. The wake will be potluck feast, with each person bringing a dish that they think I would enjoy. It is at this time you will be required to tell at least one person a story of how I made you smile. If you are overcome with grief because I am not their to be awesome with you physically, understand my awesomeness will linger around for generations, so to honor this you must maintain a positive attitude. This means at least for the wake you must honor my life long request to not be a whiny douchebag, or you will not be invited to the execution of the will or the funeral.

For the disposal of my remains, I would like the party to continue. This will be a formal occasion of course. This means mead and hard liquor will be the only drinks available for those that old enough. It is not encouraged to bring children to this event. There will be a few adult themes at this parting party. First I would like a stack of trees at least as high as my truck to be prepared for my pyre. I would like to be placed on top of the pyre in my military regalia sitting in a large wooden chair like the boss I was. The fire must be lit by as many females that will volunteer to do so dressed in the way I would have truly enjoyed watching. (So either naked, or in some sort of costume that at least bares your breast.) Once the fire is lit, feel free to dance and frolic around the fire if you are possession of a vagina and do not exceed the social standard of body mass to be naked in public. Gentlemen feel free to leave the funeral, being that gentlemen where probably never my friend to begin with. The rest of you asshole feel free to verbally encourage the women and drink on. The party must go until the fire burns out, or until all participants are passed out. I would hope that people could at least make it until the sunrise the next day.

I direct that my estate shall devolve as follows:

After all of the previous requirements have been met all of my worldly possessions will be given out according to a few simple criteria. If the above requirements are not met, all of my worldly possessions will be donated to the charity of the executors choosing. If you see something in the pile of items that is of interest to you claim it. If there is a contesting of ownership then all who wish to posses it will have to offer a story of meaning and value. Of course the story will have to be about me, and why this particular item is important to you. Applause will be measured by the executor and a victor will be allowed to claim their prize. In the event of a tie a contest of wits or physical prowess will be required. (I would recommend push ups, a timed run, or electronic bar top trivia challenge.) Each person will only be allowed one item, with additional items being allowed for each time you have given me head. Proof will be required or at least offered for the executor to determine validity. So while I am still alive and if you would really like to get more then one thing, this would be the perfect time to offer to blow me. The more you do, the more stuff you can get. Win win for us all.

After my special bequests I bequeath the residue of my Estate to:

Goodwill or some other thrift store should get the rest of the stuff not claimed. I won't need it anymore, so I really do not care much. My ashes can be sorted from the pyre and a bit can be given to whomever would like to take them to some strange or exotic place. I would like them to be geocached so people can continue to follow my adventure even in death. At least one person should take my ashes to a bathroom of a seedy bar in some third world country where they are doing a donkey show, or some other entertainment based equivalent. My name forever more will be spoken with a tone of merriment or mischief. These are my last wishes. Follow them or I will haunt your ass. Lets put the fun back in funeral.

In witness whereof I have signed this will in Denver Colorado on the 26th of April, 2012 in the presence of the undersigned witnesses who in my presence and in the presence of each other have signed this will as witnesses.

Random Thoughts

The universe is full of the improbable. Irrational becomes rational with each new discovery. Evolution of ideas and what was will be, but will never be the same again. There will be something out there that can kick Chuck Norris in the nuts, and makes cats and dogs snuggle like time tested friends. You say impossible, I say unproven. This is the joy of the world we live in. This is what makes the universe that is so fucking outstanding. It is the concepts of our belief that is shaken each and everyday and only a few things can truly stand to the onslaught of knowledge. Those few things are sacred but only to a few.

Amongst this short list of things that define my own morality you will not find simple things like love. Love is a chemical reaction and the part of the only two things we actually really enjoy (dopamine and serotonin). However discovery is on that list. It is the joy of seeing things for the first time. It may not be the first time they are seen by anyone, but those moments that you get when you truly see something for the first time. That wonderment that is evident in the eyes of children, and rarely seen in the eyes of an adult. Discovery is part of my morality.

How can this be a part of my morality you ask? It is not really something that defines right and wrong is it? Of course it is, what is right and wrong? Well to me the ultimate wrong is ignorance. Stupid is stupid and it is contagious. It is the denial of things that deny us the truth of life. We are here to learn, to discover, and to deny that is immoral. To embrace or hold to archaic ideals because of comfort should make you ache in your heart. To ignore the gift of your brain is a much bigger travesty in the divine scheme of things.

The universe is a school with no passing grade. It is knowledge for knowledge sack. Each door is a passage to a new discovery. Each day an adventure into the unknown. You have to strain to keep your senses open to what you can learn from every breath. It is trying. It is difficult, but this is the truth of life. We are not here to make friends, but to make it better than we left it. We are here to build on what is know by those before us, and to gain more paths for the future generations to gain even more knowledge.

There are truths that can not be denied and curiosity is one of them. We need to know how. We need to know why. We need to understand when. The who is not as important, but it is still part of the equation. Like each person we meet, each day is unique and special. Each one has a message and something for us to gain. So why wrap yourself up in who can marry whom? Why wrap yourself up in things like who's belief is stronger or more correct for the day? Belief is dangerous but knowledge is knowing that there is more to be known.

In that redefine your morality, and ask yourself what exactly do you believe? Why do you believe it? What is truth? What have you learned? What knowledge will you bring to your ancestors when you take your last breath? What discovery did you make?

So stop being a douche. Gravity works, the Earth is round, and get the fuck over yourself.

Its our fault you idiot.

I am gonna go out on a limb here and revisit an old topic. You see we have a problem, or at least we perceive a problem and choose to give this problem weight. This problem is nothing new. It is something that is as old as the idea of a village. It is the anthropological way we establish the pecking order in the animal mind. Now we are familiar with it as the socialization of our children, and that typically is resolved with bullying. There are ways to get rid of it though, and evolve. So what do you want to do about it and what are you willing to do about it?

The solution lies in exposing our children to reality. First you start with the bullies. They are only trying to do what we teach them. They are trying to get ahead of the pack. They are trying to build a order with them on the top. They want what we all want, they want to be in the best position to live a better life for themselves. Trouble is they do not understand that the positive shit in high school rarely leaves high school, but the negative shit comes out for a life time. Yet you will see the guy sitting in a bar years later talking about the touchdown in the homecoming game that did nothing for him beyond those four years of his life. That hot little cheerleader that is so important in school is going to wind up with stretch marks and battle scars, and that type of beauty fades.

We get so wrapped up in the shit that doesn't matter, that our children emulate this in the attempt to act "grown up". The surround themselves with the things they think will make them popular, rather than think about what it takes to be a good human being. Stuff breaks and physical beauty does not last the test of time. In that the emphasis on the physical only sends the message of physical satisfaction to our children. While I have nothing against sex, and nothing against sex for entertainment value alone, I do see an issue with that being the sole image of gratification. When you fixate on the physical that is exactly what you get, hormonal teen aged irresponsible baby factory's looking for the new Ipad.

So the status that comes with fixation on stuff breeds contempt. This contempt brings silly concepts of competition that we carry with us into our adult life. Then we transfer these silly beliefs over to our children and start the cycle anew. It takes us years to get rid of these misconceptions of happiness, if we ever do. Then we tell our children if you are not first your last. We tell them they have to be top dog, or strive to be the top dog and they fight to get ahead of the pack. They forget the pack, and only think about being in front of it. The pressure is enough that occasionally it will make a diamond, but most times it just leaves a broken child that is thrust into adult life.

Now the other side of this is those that are bullied. This children that are taught the same consumer values but do not measure up to the standards we set for them. They are the pack, or those that set outside the pack. They devalue themselves because they do not measure up to the image we have painted for success. They rarely finish first in that race, however their talents are else where. They can finish first in their own race, and do not need that social validation. Yet we tell them they do, or in some cases we tell them they are not good enough. They valid the cruel words of children and let those words strap weights on their back. This weight they will carry into adulthood if they do not crack under pressure.

The beauty of it is simple, those that do not break typically develop an unhealthy self esteem and drive through using their smarts or cunning. Those washed out high school has been's typically end up working for them. That is if they don't kill themselves or others before that happens. The trouble is they are still fixated on this perceived standard we have set as a society and even though they attain a level of success they are still broken and hollow. So its a lose lose scenario. Reality fucking sucks huh? You are all thinking this as a well. I am sure many of you can see this pointless evolution and waste of time to rally to a cause that we only offer a band aid for.

You want to put an end to bullying, try this; Raise your kids to be independent. Raise you children to understand expectations are important, but only theirs are. Teach them that other peoples standards are just that,other peoples standards and possible just shallow reflections of consumer weakness. Teach them they know their own happiness and it is not found in playing the damn game. They are who they are and beautiful in their own way. You do this by, holy fucking shit guy, being a good damn parent. You need to fix yourself and set the example. You need to let yourself be happy, and understand the responsibility you have with your PERSONAL freedom. Money does not buy happiness, beauty is skin deep, and life has more to offer if you know what to look for.

Most important is for you to stop being a fucktard, and start sitting the right example. Until people stop celebrating the shallow crap in the gene puddle, we will always have bullies. We breed the damn culture every time we stand in line for some new gadget. We do this when we celebrate commercialism and lose our focus on what it really means to be free. We all have the right to pursue our OWN happiness. So stop chasing some other persons concept of happiness and start looking for your own. Teach that skill to your kids, and you find that bullies have no more power then you give them. Indifference is your greatest immunity to their poison. You also find it is easier to fight for what you believe in, when you figure out what the fuck you believe in.

So stop begging for the government to fix this for you. The issue is resolved through you and by you, not through some internet campaign with catchy posters or slogans. That is how you advertise, and learning from advertising is part of the damn problem. So stop being sheep and learn to think for yourself. Teach your kids to do the same shit, and it might catch on. Either way bullies will no longer be your problem, and stupid people will be left to deal with it on their own.

Screw a snooze bar.

Acceptance. Not many letters in that word, but there is a lot of weight. You see acceptance is the key to life. People worry so much. We work ourselves up, and worry. What do we worry about? We worry about how bad things might turn out. We worry about all the things that could go wrong. You see acceptance is the root of hope. If you understand the life is going to happen regardless of your existence, then you find acceptance in this. In that you find hope and reason to live. You find that the pleasures of life are what we accept as pleasures. The joys in life is understanding that things happen, and just because they happen do not mean they happen to you, or even because of you.

In this there is freedom. You see acceptance or existence gives you the freedom to be happy. It gives you the right to be you. You are only responsible for your own actions, and this includes your own reactions as well as your actions. People do not piss you off, you let yourself get pissed off because of them. In understanding this you understand your responsibility to yourself to be free, and to understand your responsibility to others around you. This is not a free pass to be a child. It is understanding that your actions are your own actions, and only your own actions effect you, but not all others can think in those terms, so you will effect them.

By doing what you do, you share knowledge. The knowledge you share can only be perceived and interpreted with the tools that the perceived have. We are all limited in our ability to understand the information the bombards us each and everyday. You can not fully comprehend the world. If you could you would be a God. We have limitations. Can you see or hear the ultraviolet? That is just a physical perception, and that is the easiest limitation to understand. So you must consider the tools of others, and know that they are as limited as you are physically, and may ore may not be as limited mentally. Some can grasp the concepts of quantum mechanics, but they lack the skill set to gain a kiss with meaning. We all have different skills, and many of us go through life dreaming.

So wakey wakey hands off snakey ladies and gentlemen. You are your deeds, not your words. You are responsible for all that you are, and how you have let others effect you. You are not a sex addict alcoholic that likes crack sprinkles on their lard fed ice cream because of any person in your past. You are who you are because you choose to be who you are, no other reason. You have baggage because you do not want to lay it down, and the only sin you have is knowing you are fucked up and not being willing to do anything about it other than generate excuses. Nothing is anybodies fault but your own, or at least allowing it to effect you as you let it effect you.

Yes you can be physically detained and held against your will, but you are only locked up out here. How you react to it is entirely up to you. If you carry it with you afterward it is because you are weak and wish to offer the freedom up on the altar of blame. You are free to be happy. You are free from conditioning. You are free to smile or cry. The choice is yours. You are to blame for your own happiness.

To fucking easy. Now stop being a douche. 

So in this understand, if I am mad it is because I choose to be mad.  If I smile it is because I want to smile. I am not the sum of other peoples deeds. I am me because of the person I know I want to be. I am my deeds. I am free to be. In that I am absolutely free. I love being me, and I intend to enjoy all the things life has to offer, even if it is not offered to me. I am going to let things happen, and decide how they are going to effect me. If you can't get that, not my fault. If I don't get it, then its my fault.

I had a dream too

In today's America we hear about the dangers of losing the American dream. We are so inclined to think of this as the house on the hill with the white picket fence. When did this happen? When did we supplement the concepts and ideals with material needs? With the recent issues with in the housing market, (you know that bubble popping) we can see this material concept truly threatened. However I ask when did we replace the concepts with constructs? The concepts were what our founding fathers saw as the dream, yet we have replaced them with the concrete drive way. The two car garage, the sedan, have transposed the principles that were declared as inalienable rights. Freedom replaced with a yearning for a good credit score in this new measurement of the American dream.

In the eighties Henry Bonilla said "Part of the American dream is to own your own property something no one can take from you." This however was not the beginning of this material fascination. You can see this with the advent of radio. Advertisements begin to bombard us linking our personal value with the status symbols. We stray from the views of our founding fathers who talk about reverse materialism. Thomas Jefferson said that "Educate and inform the whole mass of the people. They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.” and to connect it to the more material views of today you get “Information is the currency of democracy.” It is this material fixation that has over twenty percent of our children living in poverty. It is this "I need to get mine" attitude that afflicts us. We have shifted from the selfless willing to die for a dream, to the selfish looking to buy a dream.

While many will say that capitalism has conditioned our values to external validation and place our material esteem over our initial concept of what it means to be an American. Yes, for a capitalistic society to thrive things must be consumed. We have had generations to teach ourselves and our children to feed that beast. It is not that though that is our down fall. It is that target fixation. We are so focused on the material aspects of capitalism and do not see the variety of other things that make up being an American. It is the concepts that can not be bought. It is the personal freedoms that we all have, but it also the celebration of those concepts and ideals that make us who we are.

"We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra." Tyler Durden was ahead of his time. This is how we define our happiness. We are the teak table. We are not free breathing creature that we tell ourselves we want to be. We are wasted potential. We are lost and lonely. A man without a purpose is not a man at all. If we are to ever be happy, we have to remake and reclaim the American dream. You should be more than a line of credit that is contained in the walls of a house with a white picket fence. We are freedom. We are the embodiment of liberty. We are Americans damn it, and that used to mean something.

The American dream is lived in the smile of the immigrant. It is the man who came from nothing, and gave his children the greatest gift of all. He gave them a future. We gave them more than just a house, we gave them options. The tea party was held in Boston not to enforce one groups views on the masses, but rather to free each and everyone of us from those masses. Happiness is not what other people tell you, but rather what you know is already in your heart. It is not how many think the way you do, or how many zeros are on the left side of the decimal.

So we have to peel back the layers or pretty wrapping paper, and look inside the box. We can look past the house and see the true gift our founding fathers gave us. We have to look past the pretty wrappings that fade with time. It is not the light of the fire that warms you. That is just the beauty we all see and enjoy, but the warmth we feel comes from the embers. It is that ember that burns in the heart of our country. It is those embers that warm our minds and inspire us to get out of bed. That is the real American dream.

The Real Deal

The elections coming up have me looking in bewilderment to the future. I see so much going on, and I see so many misguided people. I see people that can only hear facts that support their candidate. I see their truth skewing their perspective. I see people rally to one cause or another and I see so many people addressing issues without regard to offering solutions. I see the smoke screens coming out. I see people talking about shit they really know nothing about.

Let me get something clear right fucking now. I do not have to agree with your views in this wonderful country we call home. I respect your right to have them, even if they are dead fucking wrong. It is not my personal morality that guides my political views, because I know my personal morality is fucked. Fro example I am a spiritual kind of guy, but I do not bring my religion into my politics. I understand the need for the separation of church and state. It is not because my religious views are not popular enough for one office or another. I have no desire to run for office. I don't need that level of bullshit in my life.

I do not need the government to tell me how to live my life. I do not need the government to tell me how to have children, or even if I should have them. You see these are smoke screen issues that they use to sway your opinion and sway you from the shit that they really should be doing. I really do not give a damn if two dudes, or two chicks want to get married and adopt all the little carpet crawlers that are living in a orphanage anyway. Who the fuck cares if a woman decides to or not to get an abortion when our society is the viewed through the eyes of historian. Try getting into things we really need to deal with.

People talk about taxing the rich, and I say go ahead. If I pay taxes they should pay taxes, but we as a people should also be smart about what those taxes pay for. I do not need government programs to pay for my medical needs, retirement, meals, or day to day life. If I wanted someone to cover my bills for the rest of my life I would kill all the stupid people I meet and end up in prison. The more you ask someone to do for you, the less you are self reliant, the more personal choice and freedom you offer them as payment.

You want to impress me as a presidential candidate, or even run for reelection, tell me what you are going to do to fix my government. Don't tell me what you are going to do for me or those poor unborn masses that somebody wants to scrap from the womb. I want things fixed that a government should fix. Do not tell me how you are going to give me healthcare, but rather prevent the fleecing that current healthcare system engages in. Get rid of some of the crap programs that people swear by, and focus on what the federal government should focus on. Build on the infrastructure to protect our ability to trade with the world, not inhibit growth by establishing the most ridiculous corporate laws in the world.

Protect my borders, and ensure we can enjoy a level of safety. If people want to come to this country, stop looking for ways to keep them out. Migrant workers are going to be here, why because this country is fucking awesome. So why not help them become citizens rather then slaves working for pennies on the dollar? Why not accept a more adaptable immigration policy? Stop the criminal element from coming in, but do not inhibit the flow of those looking for work, or chasing the real American dream of freedom. Teach them, and the existing population of what it really means to be an American. Its not the house with the white picket fence or the corporate sponsorship of our idealism. It is freedom and the ability to pursue your own happiness. Not your Catholic happiness, or your fundamentalist happiness, but happiness. Keep those out that want to work against that. Welcome those that want to assimilate that attitude regardless of color or creed. It comes to the line of, do they want to change America, or the chance to be changed by America?

So stop worrying about how you can effect the life of your neighbor, and think about what you need to engage in your pursuit of happiness. Stop thinking of all the ways you can restrict people, and look to how you can get people to engage their own happiness. That is the issue we have before us in America. That is why I put life on the line so many times. It is not about what I can take away from you, but what I can offer to protect your right, and even my own, to be happy and not inhibited. Those are the real issues. Look at it from the terms of one simple issue, the whole uproar over gay marriage. Does stopping two people, regardless of sexual orientation, from getting married help you be happy? does it prevent them from being happy? So if something does not inhibit or aid your happiness, but it does inhibit another persons pursuit then it is un-American. Now look at all issues with that an move the fuck on and grow the fuck up.

Just Breath

So today I offer a revelation and some insight as to why I have been talking about being self aware. I am going to tell you why this internal validation is so important to me. So this is the serious side of the house. You see we all suffer from the human condition. Life can and should be a series of challenges that mostly shit. You see we are forced to continue on through adversity because something greater than ourselves pushes us forward. To understand that thing that is greater, we must first be able to see the greatness in ourselves. Why is that though? People say that inspirational hallmark greeting line all the damn time. What the hell does it mean? Why the hell does it matter? Why the hell do I matter?

You see we all matter in the sense that we are made of matter, but aside from that, why do I matter? Even if I did matter, why would it matter if I was self aware? Why would it matter if I really understood who I was? Well it is a simple matter of that great adult quality that hopefully everyone tries to instill in their children. Responsibility. Big word there, it carries a lot of weight. You see we need to be aware of ourselves, and our path in this world to truly grasp the impact we have, and the responsibility that comes with that.

Even in this moment of self awareness you can not completely fore go the interactions we are going to have with other people. You have a responsibility to understand your interaction and the effects it may have on others. Your life can, will, and has splashed over into another life. You have forever altered the path they were going to take, and it can never be erased. We can hope that these interactions are made with good intentions, but you know what they say about the road to hell though. So in this quest for personal responsibility we have to really know what we are, what moves us, and what influences us. By doing this we can get the most out of our interactions with other people and enjoy those shared moments, knowing we are being responsible and leaving a positive impact on those around us.

If we can not love ourselves completely, what damage do we cause to those around us? To love we must really understand what that is, and what it means to us. How can you know what it is, and the damage it can do if you do not love yourself, and not just in the "its 4am and I have some lotion" kind of way. Seriously, how can you even know the face of love, and work towards the greater good if you can not take the time to love yourself? If you try to love another without knowing what it is, you can send the wrong message. You can damage their ability to be aware of what love is. You can limit their ability to perceive the world around them because you labeled something hollow as something that could and should carry more meaning.

So we quest to love ourselves, and in doing so we are able to love others. We are also able to see what love is, so when we are in an abusive relationship we have the strength to walk away. We know what love is, because we feel it for ourselves, and we know that this is not it. We know there is more than the feeling we are getting back, because we give more of it to ourselves. So this responsibility teaches us not only how to love, but how to accept the love of others.

Now I am done being serious and talking about those grand issues of the human condition. I think this could be the key to peace. If people loved themselves, not just admired or fostered that caveman instinct for self preservation, and then they could see what actually had value. It is not something that comes from something. You can admire and desire objects, but you can not objectify something that is loved and loves. Love does not mean what you think it means either. Love is not a great set of tits, or a tight ass. Love is not passion though they can be together. Love is not a willingness to die for someone, but rather to live for them. This means to love yourself so much that you know after you take a bite of the shit sandwich that is life, you have to go on. Suffering is life, but if you learn from that suffering you can find value. Because you love yourself you find value in all things, and you will continue to live even when life sucks so bad that you want to french kiss a 9mm.

That is what keeps you going. This is what life is about. Love yourself, then you can love others. Loving yourself is not hurting yourself, or allowing others to do it. Loving yourself is understanding your needs and desires, and putting them first, because if you don't who the fuck is going to? Love is understanding your worth, and being aware of your responsibility to you. In doing so you learn your responsibility to others. So relax and breath, everything is gonna be just fine.

200

The wrapping comes off with ease. It is a cocoon that releases the smell of contained chemical reactions that our brain tells us one thing, this must be new. The joys released in our mind as the new care smell dances through and jogs memories of elation. It is Christmas morning all over again, and in that we find a brief feeling of joy. It is not lasting happiness, and this is why we move onto the next bauble or gadget waiting to join the piles of things that permeate our houses. How did we get this way, and who the hell are these Jones assholes we are trying to keep up with. Why do they have so much, and always so much more than we do?

The American dream has evolved into a house with a white picket fence, a two car garage, two point five children, a big screen TV, three thousand channels of nothing but commercial bombardment to add the next feature to the list of commercial influence. We look to our caveman instincts and are assaulted further with what defines us as people. Are we that sofa? Are we the set of kitchen knifes laid neatly on the clever wall mounted magnet? Do we look at the labels and get the free range chemical free items from the grocery shelf because it what we desire, or what we desire to become? What is the next great commercial trend that will infect our hearts and minds?

How the hell did this happen? What steps of evolution took us to the cash register? To what to we attribute our fascination with more being better? We have been conditioned like leather, and it goes on and on through out our existence, and not one of us is immune. Even the none conformist want to just be different like everyone else. Specialty stores sell the baubles they need to express their individuality. Goth stores give way to places you can buy skinny jeans and little buttons and scarfs that tell the world how emo you are. How did this corruption happen?

The American dream used to be about possibilities, not about entitlement. I truly believe our founding fathers had no idea what we would become as our capitalist beliefs took hold and grew. If you read the papers they put out, starting of course with the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution, you will see a clear message. It was not about giving people all these wonderful things, but rather not inhibiting their path to them. Yet we scream for more, and look for happiness in all the things the world has to offer. We look for it in weights and measures by what looks to make others happy.

We paint our faces and dance the little dance and wonder if those around us are really happy, or they are content for us to think that they are happy? In doing so we emulate what makes them happy, and buy the things that made them happy. We demand the things that they have, in hopes that they too will make us happy. Commercials sell us on these concepts and we all buy into them. Of course rich people have to be happy with their skewed sense of self importance and their fancy cars lined up. Who would not be happy in a house so large that you never visit all the rooms in the entire time you own it? Hell it is so much more comforting to shit in a gold plated toilet, much more so than the porcelain mass produced models off the shelf at some discount warehouse store.

When did we let others define what makes us happy? Well we did it when we accepted the machine that is consumerism. We did it when we bought the lie of succession. We did it when we told ourselves, or sold ourselves on the concept of external happiness. I can tell you this for sure, happiness does not have a receipt. The real American dream is alive and well, and you will not find it at Neiman Marcus. You might find a brief moment of happiness in the bottom of a good bottle of rum, or in between someones thighs, but real lasting happiness can only happen if you let it. It can only happen if you do not get wrapped up in all the bullshit. It can only happen if you really understand what happiness is.

You have years of conditioning to overcome though. Years of Saturday morning cartoons riddled with commercials. Stacks of articles telling you about the latest treads. All of these things buried in the notion that our society will not thrive if you do not keep consuming those disposable cars, or clothes. Sure you can still do those things and be happy, you just have to accept that they in themselves are not going to make you happy. Only you can make that choice. Being in the cattle corral does not make you happy, until your inner truth is moo.

Make me a GOOD sammich

Today I am not in the best of moods. Oh course you know that will will be followed with the catch phrase of "let me tell you why." I can sum this up rather quickly and vent. You see each of us needs to be more in touch with our self. While I am not saying touch yourself with that statement, I am going to say I have no opposition with touching yourself, but that is not the point. What I am going to say, while being aware of your yourself is important you have to learn the value of the other spoon feed drooling masses of shit that we occupy the planet with. This also means that life would be better if these window lickers would get the point and stop trying to force themselves into my existence.

So yes mouth breathers, you do have a simple responsibility in life. If you choose to seek external validation and suffer from affluenza that is your choice. I reserve the right though to not have you fuck with my chi. It is the role of a good human being to not impose a burden on those around them. I am thinking life would be so much easier if people looked at the process of going through life as if you were the member of a highly trained member of an elite organization. I am talking some black van, red striped A-team shit right now. You see a team like this only works if people know that the other people around them are doing there best to their job so you don't have to pick up their slack, and are aware enough of your job so that they do not make it more difficult for you. This is the simplest level of trust you can have. I trust that you are going to do what you need to do, I am going to do what I need to do, and in that we are not going to fuck with each other, and maybe, just maybe achieve what we need to achieve together.

To break this down Barney style, (you know that purple fat meat eating dinosaur disguised as a simple minded vegan hippie love sponge) STOP FUCKING UP THE GOOD TIMES OF OTHERS WITH YOUR SELF CENTERED DRAMA THAT NOBODY REALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT. Be aware of yourself, enjoy your self, have self confidence, but do not wash your funky ass self pity doubt and remorse onto another person. If you suck, it does not make it better if you let your suck drip onto other people. We do not care. It is not your right to rub your stupid on other people. You are not so special that you get to ruin the good times of others because you can not or will not have a good time on your own.

Life may have its moments of the proverbial pissing contest, but those pissing contest are not about how sucktacular your life is compared to others. Share joy, not misery. If you have someone that has a shitty life, you do not make friends with them by trying to share or over emphasis that fact that your life is shitter than theirs. I really do not give a shit if you think your life has more misery than mine. If it does, great, it is not my life and even it was I would not choose to wallow in that crap. It does nothing and serves no purpose. I am not going to spend my life saying that my life sucks, if something sucks I figure out how not to make it suck, or I stick my dick in it, let it suck and have a good time with it. Why they hell would you want to fixate on that crap?

This makes you a shitty team member and makes me contemplate fratricide. Seriously get the fuck off my A-team and stay out of my life. You are just going to make my mission unnecessarily hard, or improbable. So save your shit show for another time and get your crap straight before you try to interact with other people. I do not have time, no do I give a damn about having you interfere with my life.

If I have to carry you to get through a part of my life and you did not take a round doing your best to achieve that mutually shared mission, I am just going to leave your ass on the curb. I do not carry my own baggage, I sold that shit in a yard sale, so why the hell do you think I would want to carry yours? If you can only offer misery, why the hell would I want to hang out with you? That being said were is it written that I have to? Offer something to the tribe or leave the tribe so you don't drag it down. You want to be a good person, carry your own weight and have something to offer. If you do that, I have got your six like you wouldn't believe. If you can't don't get butt hurt if I have your six and its in my cross hairs. Really I have no time for stupid self loathing lazy sacks of crap. Life is what you make it, and if you make a shit sandwich don't bitch about the taste. You are the one that made your sandwich, and if you are some hot little chippie, and you do the right thing and make me a sammich, don't make it a shit sandwich.

A simple suit carries more class.

Back to reality and less on deeper issues right now. Change is coming to our country, and real soon. The elections are upon us. I am going to fill you guys in on a little secret, we are totally fucked. I mean completely and utterly fucked. I can not take four more years of the current situation, for a variety of reasons that other people will fill themselves with disillusion about. I am not here to bash our current president. I will only say that regardless of how people feel things should be, the government only guarantees the right to pursue happiness, it has not promise on happiness itself. Happiness does not mean that I am entitled to shit. This means healthcare, retirement, or what ever other "major" issue the government feels I need to provide for anybody. The solution is not to have the government provide these things but rather fix those those things so that people can provide for themselves. That whole teach a man to fish thing.

Now onto why I am worried, while I look at the current political machine that exist in the country I am fearful. You need money to run, you need a lot of money to run for president. Then you need exposure, and you need positive control over your exposure. The Democrats have shown a mastery of using emails, tweets and micro donations. They have embraced the internet, with youtube campaigns designed to not only get their views out (no matter how crazy they are) and to raise funds. There seems to be more in Hollywood. It is like a nest of vampires, and to be honest this to me is why most of the movies suck now a days. Where is the modern John Wayne? Where is the stand up sensible role models in today's media? That is a different story altogether, but sufficed to say the GOP sucks at the interwebs thing, and still reaches out with shitty ideas for fundraisers.

Now we have the candidates. While I look at Romney I see a great Governor. He did things for the great state of Massachusetts that people seem to ignore fast. Hell that great evil we call Obamacare was modeled on plan Romney out in place, and pointing things out like that, might get him votes from the other side of the fence, but he has the personality of a dead fish. He has not been able to connect to the population. So he could be awesome wrapped in specfuckingtacular and he will not get elected because he is not a 20 second clip of popularity. He does not steal the spot light, and this is popularity contest, not a job interview (like it should be). He can not beat Obama in the next election without some serious help.

Moving on to Santorum. First I want to say as a Republican his breed of Republican has nothing to do with being a Republican. Being conservative means being conservative not being a cool aid drinking fundamentalist. Can we leave that track to Al Qaeda? A conservative is holding onto old values, old values that present a truth with out speculation. Think of it like a conservative suit. It looked good in all eras, and represents class, from Frank Sinatra to Will Smith. That suit might be all they have in common, but it was conservative and it carried class. Santorum does not have that trait. He dresses like Ned Flanders and talks like Hitler. While he has the charisma to pull shit off, he can't even separate church and hate. I wonder half the time if people like him have even read the bible they thump. That Jesus cat was not all filled with hate and fear. That is for week minds. So he has what Romney doesn't, in the sense he can talk to people and get the popular vote, but he is poison.

So now we move onto the invisible man, Ron Paul. While I might not agree 100% with his foreign policy, I do agree with many more of his ideas then I do with any other candidate. He has enough charisma and has a real understanding of a grass roots movement. Most of the bad things say about him are kernels of truth wrapped in shit load of lie. The media ignores him, because he ignores the big money hand outs from those running that show behind the curtain. He can not play the game, because he is opposed to the game, and based on that they will force him from the game. Seriously he is drawing great numbers, yet he only gets a 2 second nod and is mostly ignored by the "ethical" media we have today. For ethics I mean a media based not on reporting the news, but reporting a profit.

So what do we as a people do? What do we do to correct this corrupt system when it is hard to find a champion for the cause that can actually enact viable change, not just leave us with change in our pocket? When did this become a country of Jersey Shore values? Fuck this love and light trippy bullshit that is a smoke screen for poverty and failure. Even in nature shit eats other shit, the difference is malice. A wolf does not eat a rabbit out of spite, it eats it so that it can live and the role of that rabbit is to be food if it gets caught. When did we put on the rose colored glasses and fall down the rabbit hole and start thinking a fictitious world to replace reality with? Seriously people, it is time we grow the fuck up and deal with the issues as best we can in a smart and rational way, and do it looking good wearing a conservative suit.

revision of a vision

Every now and then you get some random thought or idea from the world around you. You look at the way the people see the world, and that glimpse from a different set of eyes offers you something. You get to see the world with another set of senses. You can see it from a way another person sees it, and even if the view is close to yours, it will always be different. It is not right or wrong, it just simply is. So here I am working on school work, reviewing notes, and watching my thoughts shift. I would like to think I gathered a unique insight for myself. This view point added to mine gave that little nugget of knowledge. Knowledge of course is the great tool of life after all.

So trying to formulate my thoughts into coherent sentences in regards to my presentation on Wednesday, I have come up with the argument I will need to present. You see most people are incapable of being happy for more than a short period of time. It is not their fault either. They do what most good people do and they strive to hold to values that they are conditioned with. They seek what they are told will give them happiness. They fortify the beliefs that those items will make them happy because they perceive others as being happy. They hold to ideas that have worked for others, and ignore what could work for them.

We are taught early on to seek external validation. We chase that carrot on a stick. Instead of being pleased by our own efforts, we find a brief second of joy in the praise or attentions of other people. While this is not an unhealthy thing, we start to make it unhealthy with conditioning. Its starts with our parents, or parental figures offering us attention or affection for doing a good job. Over the course of our life it is evolved and altered to a point that it becomes unhealthy and limits our ability to hold and sustain a period of happiness longer then a few moments. Joy overcomes us in little steps. It is the applause of the audience after a performance, or the envious gaze our neighbor gives us when we step out of our new car. Our happiness is linked to the external validation of others.

Over time this seeps deep into our thought process, and even now with thought, it is hard for us to separate the conditioning from our own inner desires. It is when you can see those things and except your own inner process that you can truly attain freedom. In gaining that freedom you get two things, personal responsibility and the ability to sustain happiness. Look to your thoughts, and really tear into them. Ask yourself are they your own, or merely the reflection of conditioning you have received from society. Does that huge house on the hill make you happy? If it does, why? Is it because the house measures you against others? Is it because somebody else desires it? Is it because you saw somebody else appear to be happy in a similar house? Maybe it just makes you happy because it appeases a desire that is your own, and not the standards that others have imposed on you.

This process starts simply. Step one is you have to stop caring more about the needs, desires, or standards of others. This is not say that you have to abandon morality, but rather abandon yourself to your sense of self. We are all hardwired to tell something is good or bad, and while something may give off the perception of being good, our gut will tell us if this self destructive. Then and only then can you start the process of personal validation. Then you can truly be free, and free to pursue your own happiness. You are not happy, not because you have not achieved the standards and requirements established by others, but rather you will not allow it. You are not happy because you are in conflict with yourself. You have to much noise in your head to think. You have to let go of the noise, and listen to your voice. Conventions and norms are for the normal, and none of us are normal. That is a statistical improbability.

In this quest to be self validating you will also find you are better to those in your community. Through being selfish in some areas, you will find that being selfless is easier as well. I can now serve my community better, because I am not bringing bullshit or baggage to the table, but rather making a meaningful and valid contribution. I do not need their approval, and through that, I will receive it. Think of this in the basic terms of human desire. We associate happiness with that basic emotion called love. How can you give or receive love to another person if you can not love yourself? If you can not love yourself, then how can you even be aware of what it is in the first place? If you hate or despise yourself, and can not offer yourself unconditional love, all you have is codependency wrapped in social lusting.

It is not an easy thing to deal with with the bombardment of self debasing bullshit we are buried under every day. Art is valued by its dollar value. Movies are judged by how well they do in the box office. Appearance is part style, and style is typically what clothing did you spend your money on. These external consumer things offer us the praise of others, and that praise feels good. We push to be noticed and forgo the personal joys that we can and should allow ourselves. We stop ourselves from enjoying the things that make us happy or comfortable, simply because nobody noticed the event, commented on our clothing, or told us what we cooked tasted good. It is not enough to be happy with our own creation or expression. It is because of this that we are unhappy, and can only experience being happy in small doses, and even that fleeting happiness is hollow.

So for one day try to accept your own satisfaction. Try to do the things that make you happy regardless of the praise or condemnation of others. Dress how you wish to dress, and dance like no one is watching. Free yourself from that crushing pressure of standards you will never live up too, or those desires that belong to other people. Do what makes you happy, and do it with a smile, knowing that as the center of your own universe it is only your opinion that matters. It is only your love that you need. It is only your desires that you can fulfill. When this happens you will find that all of the rest will just fucking happen.

You never find love if you look for it. So when you stop looking outward, someone worth loving will come to you. Others will praise you, because you are not seeking their love. You community will enjoy your prosperity with you. That smile you offer will become contagious. You lack of external judgment will gain your the affection of others, and they won't even be sure or know why they are happy to be around you. Essentially the grass is only greener on the others side of the fence because you are not watering your own lawn. Friends like to visit friends that have a clean and interesting house. How clean is your own house? How much baggage do you have laying around that you are simple not willing to get rid of. It is your choice to be happy, and it does not lie in the hands of another living soul.

Tolerance

So today I am sitting here and thinking about all the things going on in the world and realize that all we need to do is develop a sense of tolerance to achieve world peace. Really, think about it. The terrorist out there would not have known what to do if we had simply turned the other check. The hostility and anger that we face in this world is just to much, and to confront a bully you do not need a bully. Fighting fire with fire seems to less efficient than using water after all. I see this being applied across the bored to resolve issues as well, I mean tolerance seems like the perfect way to deal with 99% of the issues out there.

Let us look at Rick Santorum. Okay it was hard to brake you gaze afterwards I know, but we do have to move on. The homosexual community is in an uproar over him, and even lent his name to a rather disgusting term involving anal lube and seminal froth. Now he blusters on the pulpit and ignores the calls for separation of church and hate. Imagine what would happen if we just embraced him and accepted him as he was, and let him take his shot as president. Maybe he would learn from the tolerance and acceptance and do a fine job.

Also on the lines we share in the  media, can we blame them for wanting to make money and manipulate things that people swallow as facts? That is like asking a dog not to poop right? So we tolerate it, and imagine their joy when accept those facts at face value. I mean Ron Paul is obviously not a person, because the media only gives him a foot note mention, so maybe we should ignore him since he is not real after all. The media kisses up to the current regime, so why shouldn't we?

You by being tolerant of all things we can step up and serve the role that we are suppose too. We can be good citizens and not worry about things like truth, knowledge, justice, liberty, freedom, or our own inalienable rights. If we just do what we need to do the world will be a better place. Thoughts hurt to much, so why think them. Violence only begets violence, and people will respect us stepping down in the face of conflict. Maybe those conflicting with us are just misunderstood. 

So I ask you today on this day of days to pledge with me to become tolerant to a fault. Open your hearts and minds to the love in the world. Let us not worry about the intent of the other people and bow to the will of the universe. Because in nature their is nothing by love, kindness, and happiness. Why else would they call it a bear hug right? If in nature we are consumers, why should we not embrace that and not go against our nature. So consume the "news" they give you. Consume the modern concept of America. What is more American than consuming that all American cheese covered cheeseburger from the McDonald's drive-thru window? Don't forget to hurry home and sit on your lazy boy in front of the TV and get your daily dose.

Support your country. Do the right thing. Be tolerant. There is no injustice to fight, because fighting solves nothing. So mark this day on your calender and let the transformation begin.