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Monday, April 30, 2012

Sucky Sucky Now

So today I ask you an important question, does your life suck, or do you suck? You see the level of sucktacular people strive for directly affects the proportion of crap in their life. It is simple physics. You create a vacuum of coolness in your life and things get sucked in. The things that get sucked in are too weak to stand on their own. So they are draw to your suckiness. This includes other foreign bodies that are attracted to suckiness. So things that spew out stuff are naturally attracted to the sucktacular.

Let us contemplate this? Take a total asshole for example. What does an asshole do? It defecates and spews waste. The amount of crap shoveled out by an asshole in their life span is amazing. Americans release 108 million pounds of poop every single day. 4.5 million pounds an hour. 39.4 billion pounds a year. This is easily attracted to a vacuum that is produced by those that suck. So if you are constantly wading through shit, ask yourself how much do you suck? Also if you are buried in tons of crap, why do you sit there? You know in life you can move forward, it is hard for a vacuum to move.

So now do you really suck, or does someone you hang out with suck? Or maybe all the people you think are friends suck? Now sucking can be a good thing, but it better mean a part of my body is in your oral cavity, though most people mistake that action for blowing. Common misconception. However very few actions that derive from sucking are actually cool, this is why we renamed it into a n action that does not suck. Suck job sounds so horrible. Back to the point though, do you suck or is it those around you that suck, and they tell you that you are one of them? Is it guilt by association? If so stop associating with them, and get better friends. You are as cool as you want to be, and if people are telling you are not cool, they probably suck, and are looking to suck the life out of you.

Sucking can draw you to another object, and in this case you can be taken some cool places. Think of the lamprey on the side of the shark. Sharks do cool shit, and they never stop moving. This is why sucky people cling to you in the event that you do not suck. If you do suck you can choose to stop sucking though, and go places on your own. You can find you won happiness, and stop being so damned worried about what the people around you have or don't have. That is a sucktard train of thought. So either knock of the lamprey's (parasites) or stop being one. Use your own feet to move you, rather than sucking onto someone else and trying to be cool by proxy.

Sucking does nothing for anybody. For you, it gets you no where in life. You have to be reliant on others to move forward. If you are surrounded by suckiness then you must drag their fat asses with you as you plod through life. You will move much faster when you drop those leeches. So stop sucking or stop being sucked into stupid. The poverty mentality that things can not get better, is a defeatist sucking ass attitude. You can do what ever the hell you want, and the only thing holding you back is the universal gravity of suckiness. Fight the suck. It will suck out your smart.

Now a good way to deal with suck, is to introduce it to suck. Then sucky things can hand with sucky things and create their own black hole of misery. As this mass gets greater they can form their own political party, and you can find them easier. In space you can find black holes by their absence of light. They are created through destruction and the death of a large star. They gather everything around them and consume their mass, offering little or nothing in return. So they are easy to find and you can stay away from those train wrecks. This works well with people too. If people make friends quickly, then you know they have to do it often. This tells you they suck the life out of people and should be a warning to you. Beware the black hole! This is why I do not engage in anal sex.

If someone is not going anywhere in their life, and they only offer excuses, this is probably a sign that they totally suck. So stay the hell away from them. If you are only offering excuses, you no longer need to ask yourself why I am not hanging out with you. You take, and take, why the hell would I want to hang out with someone that sucks that much? I maybe called an asshole, but I have no reason to give you any shit. I am not here to feed you, or impress. I do not give a shit, much less a fuck. Stop sucking, or don't get butt hurt when I don't choose to hang out with you.

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