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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Just Breath

So today I offer a revelation and some insight as to why I have been talking about being self aware. I am going to tell you why this internal validation is so important to me. So this is the serious side of the house. You see we all suffer from the human condition. Life can and should be a series of challenges that mostly shit. You see we are forced to continue on through adversity because something greater than ourselves pushes us forward. To understand that thing that is greater, we must first be able to see the greatness in ourselves. Why is that though? People say that inspirational hallmark greeting line all the damn time. What the hell does it mean? Why the hell does it matter? Why the hell do I matter?

You see we all matter in the sense that we are made of matter, but aside from that, why do I matter? Even if I did matter, why would it matter if I was self aware? Why would it matter if I really understood who I was? Well it is a simple matter of that great adult quality that hopefully everyone tries to instill in their children. Responsibility. Big word there, it carries a lot of weight. You see we need to be aware of ourselves, and our path in this world to truly grasp the impact we have, and the responsibility that comes with that.

Even in this moment of self awareness you can not completely fore go the interactions we are going to have with other people. You have a responsibility to understand your interaction and the effects it may have on others. Your life can, will, and has splashed over into another life. You have forever altered the path they were going to take, and it can never be erased. We can hope that these interactions are made with good intentions, but you know what they say about the road to hell though. So in this quest for personal responsibility we have to really know what we are, what moves us, and what influences us. By doing this we can get the most out of our interactions with other people and enjoy those shared moments, knowing we are being responsible and leaving a positive impact on those around us.

If we can not love ourselves completely, what damage do we cause to those around us? To love we must really understand what that is, and what it means to us. How can you know what it is, and the damage it can do if you do not love yourself, and not just in the "its 4am and I have some lotion" kind of way. Seriously, how can you even know the face of love, and work towards the greater good if you can not take the time to love yourself? If you try to love another without knowing what it is, you can send the wrong message. You can damage their ability to be aware of what love is. You can limit their ability to perceive the world around them because you labeled something hollow as something that could and should carry more meaning.

So we quest to love ourselves, and in doing so we are able to love others. We are also able to see what love is, so when we are in an abusive relationship we have the strength to walk away. We know what love is, because we feel it for ourselves, and we know that this is not it. We know there is more than the feeling we are getting back, because we give more of it to ourselves. So this responsibility teaches us not only how to love, but how to accept the love of others.

Now I am done being serious and talking about those grand issues of the human condition. I think this could be the key to peace. If people loved themselves, not just admired or fostered that caveman instinct for self preservation, and then they could see what actually had value. It is not something that comes from something. You can admire and desire objects, but you can not objectify something that is loved and loves. Love does not mean what you think it means either. Love is not a great set of tits, or a tight ass. Love is not passion though they can be together. Love is not a willingness to die for someone, but rather to live for them. This means to love yourself so much that you know after you take a bite of the shit sandwich that is life, you have to go on. Suffering is life, but if you learn from that suffering you can find value. Because you love yourself you find value in all things, and you will continue to live even when life sucks so bad that you want to french kiss a 9mm.

That is what keeps you going. This is what life is about. Love yourself, then you can love others. Loving yourself is not hurting yourself, or allowing others to do it. Loving yourself is understanding your needs and desires, and putting them first, because if you don't who the fuck is going to? Love is understanding your worth, and being aware of your responsibility to you. In doing so you learn your responsibility to others. So relax and breath, everything is gonna be just fine.

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