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Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Monkey in the middle, still flings poo

I know today is Saturday, but I am sure I missed one somewhere and need to make up the work. This will hopefully be worth it, and maybe just maybe let people see a glimpse into my mind. I would say my soul, but we all know I sold that for a doughnut a long long time ago. I want to also clarify that these are my thoughts and mine alone. You can borrow from them, but these are my thoughts and I take responsibility for them. I am not going to pawn them off on my friends, or hold my wife responsible for them. Yes this is how I really feel. If you don't like that, don't read it.

First I am going to say that I have found the weakest words in the human language. “I don't want to get involved.” Yep some weak sauce there. I will explain why, but I am going to assume I lost a few readers there. Now before I lose a few more of them, lets look at the statement and see what it means, and then do a little break down of human nature. I am sure I am going to piss a few people off with this, and I am going to be okay with that though. Those that I lose are probably not people I wanted hanging around anyway.

The statement clarifies the a person does not want to be placed into a situation. They do not wish to participate. “I do not want to get involved.” or other versions of it, is telling the person or persons on either side that they are not worth the speakers time. They are saying they would rather not deal with your issues. They are not saying you are wrong or right, they are saying you are just not worth their effort. In this statement they declare their fear of confrontation and their need for their world to never change. They are also devaluing their own opinion with this statement by saying its not worth stating.

The intent of this family of statements is to keep friends. It is meant to let people know on either side of an issue that you value them both. In reality you are telling those two parties that they are not worthy of choice, or you are to scared to make a damn choice. Yes scared to make the choice, because you might make the wrong one and fine yourself without friends.

I have to thank my brother for this quote, it really sums up a few things if you think about it; “A friend to all is a friend to none”- Aristotle. Now why is that? I mean really why can't you be friends to everyone? Well its because we are people. People see things different and there will always be conflict. Also you need to think of your definition of a friend. The same wise cat that gave me the quote defined friends as those persons he would help if they asked for it. Pretty simple. I like it, but I would go further and say that they would help you if you asked for it as well. Friendship is a two way street. So when you are casting someone aside by your inaction, are you throwing away or minimizing the value of a persons assistance? Some times that help might be dealing with another person, or not dealing with them. That being the case you would have to be in opposition of one of the people if you help or don't help, in which design you can't be friends to both of them at the same time.

The next thing that makes this impossible for me to grasp, is that we are judgmental. It is human nature. We judge all the fucking time even if we say we don't. Seriously think about it, do you have a favorite ice cream? How do you like your steak? What do you think of people who hump in movie theaters? How do you feel about Sarah Palin? How do you feel about the Solardyne issues in the news right now? What do you think happened on September 11th? All of those things represent choice based on your judgment. So embrace that human nature and get the fuck over yourself. Now that is out of the way we can get to work.

In a social situation where people you call friends are fighting, you try to stay out of it. You tell them both you don't want to get involved. The reality is you are just a chicken shit. You already made a judgment. You already know who you like more. You already played out who you think is right. Its human nature. Those two things might not be the same thing either. So rather then risk conflict people say they do not want to get involved. Then they either go about their business and show subtle indications of their choice right or wrong. They will continue to support one person, more then the other. They will even do this while telling others they don't care to get involved.

You know my friends list in real life gets smaller and smaller each day. It gets stronger and stronger while it does as well. Why is that? Well first I am not some candy ass soft shoe asshole that sits on the fence. I see conflict, and rather then insulting those involved I get make a choice. I weigh the people involved. I see who is the more honorable party. I look at the cause. I see where the conflict is. If I can't resolve it between my friends, then maybe there is an ethical issue to explore. If a person really wronged another then you side with the one that ways wronged? You look at what is right and wrong, not what gets you more attention, affection, or allows you to hide from conflict.

In doing this I find that I get better friends. I get friends with higher moral character. I get friends that stand by me, even when they have nothing to gain. I get a stronger family. Those that are of those friends do not go running if I tell them they are being a douche, or doing something wrong either. We talk it out, resolve the conflict, and if it can't be resolved we agree that we do not see eye to eye and drive the fuck on. By not staying out of the conflict you tell your friends you actually give a shit about them.

Picture this, you have a bud that is an addict. They are actively using. You don't want to get involved. That person continues to use, and they eventually OD, get killed in a deal, or just waste away to nothing. By not getting involved you tell that person they are not worth the effort. If you go to that person and say, “Yo man, your drug abuse has got to stop, or I can't hang with you.” They either get pissed and choose drugs over you, or they ask for help. Either way you let them know you cared enough to say something, and felt strong enough to make a stand.

So stay out of it and stay out of life. Enjoy your apathy. Issues are abound and I would rather hang with people that have opinion. To me people that have opinion and have made choices are smarter, and offer better conversation. I don't have to agree with them, but at least we have something to talk about out side of a rose colored view of the world they want to live in, with out doing any of the effort. You see people that choose also have a tendency to act. People who act actually change the world. The rest of those bitches are just along for the ride.