Recently a topic came up on the internet. You know that status update were we address bullies? It goes a little something like this; "The girl you just called fat... She's overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly... She spends hours putting on makeup hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped... He's abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars... He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying... His mother is dying. Put this as your status if your against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont re-post this, but I'm sure the people with a heart will!" First I want to say I understand the intent of this post, but now I am gonna tell you what my issues are. It is not the purpose but the focus. Yes the blame of a bully should be placed on the person doing the bullying, but it is a shared blame.
You see we as a people are so stuck on the idea that victims should be victims and are blameless. I replied to this update with a cut and paste post of my own. "That parent of the kid you called fat instilled them with a sense of self esteem and made them proud of who they are, and they acknowledge your concerns and note them and decide what is right for them. The girl putting on her make up puts it back down because her parents taught them to live up to their own standards and not to transfer the blame or power to anybody else. The boy was abused at home because his parents parents failed, not because you acted like children have acted for years. That man with the ugly scars still feels they are ugly and probably hates you for ignoring them or discounting them, because he earned them fighting so people can transfer blame to make them feel more comfortable and sleep better at night. That guy you made fun of for crying may have a dying mother, but your parents should be slapped for teaching it is okay to make fun of people expressing themselves. Now if the guy is just a pussy it is our duty to laugh at him, and loud."
Then my brain got to working and I started thinking about how we are trained to think. We are trained to think poorly in so many ways it hurts my little brain. We are told that picking on someone for anything is bad, yet the most popular videos on Youtube are all about other peoples pain. We think its funny when some dude gets hit in the nuts with a rake. Its funny when a heavy set chick falls through a table when making a music video. We laugh when a person ends a run or ride with a face plant. We pick on people and find humor in it, but then we are shocked when some kid takes it a bit further.
We do this with a lot of things in life. Lets look at our concept of beauty and what people are willing to do to chase this concept of physical perfect. Billions of dollars are spent on make up, which is nothing more then paint. We alter our bodies to get that golden tan. People actually put a steaming iron to their hair to make it straighter. Toxic chemicals are injected into our lips, our checks or where ever else we perceive an imperfection. Some people even work out with the sole intention of sculpting their bodies to be more appealing to other people. Men and women are just as concerned with how they are viewed by their peers as they are with the people that they want to bump ugly's with.
So when we look at things we blame others for our short comings and blame ourselves for things we can't control or alter. We blame bullies for bad parenting. We blame our faces for being not being symmetrical. Seriously does anybody else see issues with this communal train of thought? I find it humorous. I think when we figure it out as a people it would be awesome. I don't think it would happen though. It seems to deep an issue of human nature to be a walking contradiction.