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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Whore = Merc

I want to put this out there. As a solider, and a veteran I do not kill people for you. I do not kill people for ideas. I have never jumped over a wall and put my bare hands on another persons throat and screamed the name of another person. When a person kills another person is all about those two people. That person that killed another human being carries that burden by themselves. They do not carry it for the country, or your right to speak out. That is the burden that they carry on their own.

They do not take another human life so you can enjoy your microwave, the latest movie in the theater, or voice your opinion without being beaten by that same military force that is off in foreign countries and you keep asking why. I understand that you have concern as to how and why your troops are deployed. I understand your concern for foreign policy. People talk about it all day and entertain various conspiracies for why we are at war, or ever have been at war.

However no matter what line you choose to believe, or what particular reality you choose to ignore, when a soldier, sailor, airmen or marine take a life they do not take it for you. They do not take it in your name. They are not your gun whore. They do not will you in their place. They do not say a prayer over their fallen enemy and offer them as a sacrifice unto your greatness. They do not praise you, or you ideas when they watch the blood flow down the streets. They do not call out to you when they close their eyes and see those lives all over again.

They also do not die for your doubts. They do not die for your interest. They die for other reasons.

Those that go overseas, for what ever reasons you want to claim, are not your whores. They are not their to cater to your whims and ego. You are not a unique snowflake. They are there to protect your right to be a douche. They are their to keep others from spreading their douchebaggery on you. Do not make the mistake though to assume that you are so fucking awesome that even one of the them kills anybody for you. You ego is not big enough to carry that weight. That is their burden, and they carry it no matter how hard you try to claim it. Say you understand all you want, and empathize all you want, but this is that soldiers burden.

They may carry that burden so you can enjoy things that so many others, in so many other countries do not enjoy, but fuck you if you think they shed blood for YOU. Take your selfish act of solicitation somewhere else. Do not thank me or hate me for my service, it is my service. It is my choice, and while it might effect you, this part is not, nor has it ever been about YOU. It is about self preservation, and the preservation of the person that is on that field with you. It is that window before and after the trigger is pulled that it is very focused, very narrow. It is that small moment that the weight of that decision that belongs to those directly involved. There is no faith, no ideals, nothing at that time that people who have not been there would not understand.

So thank you for your understanding. Thank you for keeping your shit to yourself. Thank you for not trying to lay claim to my burden. Thank you for making me feel like all that I have done served a purpose. Thank you for voting. Thank you for trying not to take my issues and make them your cause. Thank you for not demeaning me and mine to further your own social cause. If the opposite of any of that applies, well then I say fuck you. 

14 comments:

  1. "Those that go overseas, for what ever reasons you want to claim, are not your whores." What??? Whore??? I would love to meet that person face to face who made THAT statement. Even though it is in your blog Jesse, I do take that remark personally. Obviously the person who made that statement never had to worry about their life or the lives of their team, being gone in a nanosecond. I don't know who makes these comments to you, but, please introduce me to this person. I would love to give that person some wall to wall counseling. Press on Jesse, even if it is for the ignorant douchebag system sucking assholes. They EARN nothing, therefor their opinion means nothing.

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  2. Also, since I apparently felt the need to write half a book... TL:DR Wow, what a douche.

    *blink* Wow. That's a new one. I've honestly never heard that one before. It isn't very often that the human race truly shocks me, but this managed quite nicely. Also, wall to wall counseling for the mother fucking win!

    I've always been of the opinion that unless you are pulling the trigger yourself, it's got next to nothing to do with you except for the after effects, and those only because the ripples touch everyone no matter what name the killing done in-- Freedom, tyranny, I want your money, I don't want to die, I hate you for breathing. Don't believe me? JFK and his brother. Those ripples touch everyone.

    I am also of the opinion that until you've been there in that situation, you keep your trap shut. I've seen some of the after effects of stupid people running their mouths until someone's temper snaps. (In an amusing side note, the last time tempers snapped, it was mine and not the Marine who was getting shit... I'm a little overprotective of my family.)

    There's a reason I chose not to pick up that burden. It's a damn good one. That isn't to demean the reasons that people do choose to join the military, to deploy, to put themselves in the places where they have that burden in the first place. But that doesn't mean that I can take that burden off your shoulders for a minute and wave it around like some amazingly gimpy social flag. Particularly since I chose not to lift it in the first place...

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  3. Critter, I'll agree with "I am also of the opinion that until you've been there in that situation, you keep your trap shut. I've seen some of the after effects of stupid people running their mouths until someone's temper snaps."
    As a veteran of 4 wars, Desert Storm, Bosnia (Joint Forge), OEF (Afghanistan) and OIF (Iraqi Freedom) when someone refers to one of my brothers or sisters in arms as a "whore, baby killer" or other demeaning term. I've never asked someone to take any burden off my shoulders. In fact, like my brothers and sisters in arms, we carry our own burden as well as the burden of others. I carry my "burden" with honor and courage. Valor... Definition of VALOR -
    : strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness : personal bravery.
    We carry on with Valor, courage, commitment, dedication and perseverance.
    Like General Franks told us once... "Just think, you can go home, say you served, and look at everyone else like a bunch of pussies cause they weren't here". :))))))) Peace Out!!

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  4. The statements you made here today Jesse made me cry. Not out of shame nor out of weakness but out of respect for you and all those including my sister and my father who both served. I feel proud that they felt compelled by whatever reasons they had to serve our country in such valiant ways. For anyone who would call you a baby killer, a whore, or un-patriotic is simply the most blatant example of an idiot.

    I can say thank you for your service, for anyone who served without knowing the whys of their service. Because truly I am grateful that because of those who serve freely ... I and mine are free.

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  5. If I'm interpreting what you've written correctly, you don't like being thanked for your service in combat. Is this a common sentiment among servicemembers, and if so, how do holidays such as Veteran's Day make them feel?

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  6. Not a fan Nancy. The idea is fine, but those same ass hats that call military service members murderers does not seem to mind the day off and the BBQ's. Even then I am okay with people not knowing I am a veteran when I do go out. The trouble to me is equated to celebrating service that I might not feel comfortable remembering even if only for a day. Its that damn white knight glorious image so many people have of us, that makes it awkward to live up to. Most of us took military service because we did not have a lot of other options. It is rare you get that poor little rich boy out there. Silver spoons are rarely on the battle field. Many of us are not weighed well against that image the public seems to like to toss around.

    Do not get me wrong, and make no mistakes, I have grown into the army values, and they are a huge part of who I am now. This was not the case when the eighteen year old punk kid left his felony lifestyle behind when he signed his first enlistment contract. Even then we wrestle with things most people do not need to think about, and I can guarantee that they are not the huggy bear noble image people place on us.

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  7. I guess I am trying to understand what instigated this? Besides people who insult those who serve. There is a special place in hell for those folks.

    That said, you made a comment about people who have not served using the military for their own social cause. What cause?

    I ask because I remember full well that it was people who had not served that effected so much change in mental and medical services, there are those who have not served that today spend their unpaid time offering services to returning vets having a difficult time finding jobs or a place to live. (I know because I volunteer my resume writing skills to those that need it).

    My step dad, Bill, was a Vietnam vet. He was the first real father I knew. He taught me to shoot, to trap, to hunt, to be independent and to trust myself.

    He also suffered from PTSD, and every now and then he would forget that I was his daughter, instead he thought I was the young Vietnamese girl that blew up his unit. My memories of those times are vivid.

    Back then everyone ignored the problems, Vets did drugs and drank themselves to a stupor to try and block out the memories.

    Social justice groups that may have had members who served, are the ones that helped effect changes in how we care for our vets.

    As much as I hate to say it, Starhawk and Cynthia Enloe who are so anti-military its sickening has done much to open peoples eyes as to how our men and women are trained and how that actually inhibits their ability to function in non-military settings. Their activism is what helped bring changes to mental health care for suffering vets.

    Sadly too late for Bill, because he couldn't live with the memories and killed himself.

    I haven't served, but my father served, my grandfather served, my great grandfather served, my daughter's father served, my cousins have served.


    Doing nothing, saying nothing, that is not okay. Being part of a family, being a friend, being a member of a community, all that means that I too have an obligation.

    My grandmother taught me that everyone and everything is equal, not in the money sense, or ability sense, but in the sense that we all have equally important roles to play. That the web of life needs all of us, and that my actions today, reflect on my ancestors, and set a precedent for how my children will behave.

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  8. It is great that your grandmother gave you those lessons. It sucks that your step father that your stepfather transferred some of his burden to you. Its awesome that you and others worked to enable the right of veterans to seek treatment for the inevitable wounds, both mental and physical, caused by military service. That being said, you did not use the cause to gain social standing.

    There are others though that put a yellow ribbon on the back of their car and call it good. There are other still that are quick to point out short falls, maybe offer suggestions and translate that to supporting the troops, but its an ends to the means for them. They do it to get votes, or to receive social praise.

    Then there are those that are supportive until its not cool anymore, like fair weather fans. Those are the worse. They say they support the troops, yet what they fuck have they done to support that claim? Do they even know what that means? They say they are against the wars we are fighting, but they can list one reason of their own, they just regurgitate the same murderous spoon feed bullshit they get from the media.

    You supported your stepfather, that is great. You brought awareness to his plight, and many other soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines are grateful for the change in structure for the benefits we receive. Outside of those that directly effected you though, what have you done? In essence you supported your troop, nothing wrong with that, but the focus was not the troops. The intent was still selfish, just not as selfish as so many others.

    Personally as a soldier I would be real happy if people just left me the fuck alone. I don't need the sweaty handshakes, and the social extorted praise. Like I have said before, you want to show your support to me, use those rights I fight to protect. Vote, and be active in your government. Make is label of pride to American again when we travel to other countries. Stop the douchebaggery, and stop the stupid from spreading. Its your country, we do our best to insure that, now do something with it.

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  9. I hear a great deal of anger, and I'm unsure exactly who you are angry at.

    What have I done? None of your fucking business. What I have or have not done does not make my argument any less valid. That is probably one of the attacks I like least in a discussion. As if I have not DONE enough to be worthy of participating in the conversation. That's bullshit!


    You also seem to assume that I don't vote, that I don't actively work in other ways to make my community, my country a better place. That would be an inaccurate assumption.

    Lastly, I didn't "get" anything out of working to improve healthcare for vets. 99.99% of the work have no idea of what I've done. In fact the resume's I work on, that is anonymous, none of those people know who I am or will ever meet me. I do it because it is the right thing to do.

    Perhaps you don't want the recognition, I know many who do. But just as you do not want some stranger who ever served making you his/her cause and speaking for you specifically, you don't get to speak for me, or vets who do appreciate the effort civilians put out on their behalf.

    Last but not least, I find it concerning that you have totally failed to recognize the sacrifice the families, spouses, parents, siblings, and children of the military, and how what happened to you, (you as in the general sense, not you specifically), happened to them. The tone of this particular blog makes as if you get to speak for all military, and those of us who did not serve for whatever reason can just go fuck off.

    Writing when you are emotionally invested can be a good thing, writing when you are very angry can be a dangerous thing. Sometimes our writing serves to make a difference, sometimes it helps clarify things for us. But even after all this writing back and forth, directing your anger so indiscriminately is not very productive.

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  10. I am thinking the statement of "Personally as a soldier I would be real happy if people just left me the fuck alone" makes it clear these are my views. I do not speak for the military as a whole. I speak for me. You take offense where ever you see fit. This is my blog, so my views, my feelings. If I did not write when I was anger I would not write very often. I live in this world and I see things that make me angry every damn day. Then I write about them and get them off my chest and out there.

    As for being part of the debate, you can debate all you want. If you where negated from the conversation then you would not get a reply. You have your views I have mine. I express mine here.

    The issue though I have with the helping vets with resumes, I said hey awesome great work, thank you for that, but its not what you get from the vets in regards to helping them with the resume. How many people know you write them? Do you not get a single ounce of praise for it? How you ever used it as a bullet point in a conversation to improve how other perceived you? Most people I have seen offering these services do. There are of course exceptions to the rule though.

    Do I discount the sacrifices of the family? Really? Fuck you for thinking that. They have their burden though, and I have mine. I do not pretend to understand what my wife has gone through, that would be arrogance. I say the same to anybody who tries to pretend they understand what I have gone through. I offer empathy, even to those that served along side me. It treats us all different. Some come home in a bag, some come home carrying one. Two different perspectives, and while they both carry weight, neither can understand the weight it has on the other.

    As for being angry, yes again back to that, I am actually really pissed. I was grouped into the unthinking corporate controlled puppet army sent overseas to attack yet another country of brown people. So yeah I am pissed. I will remain pissed about that, and my anger is valid and being expressed.

    I still stand by that tone of "fuck off" that you noted in the blog. I have told that to the cat that said these things, and I declared to the world as a whole. There are somethings you do not get to be a part of, because you where not a part of them. I talk about my issues here, these are my views, based I shit I have done. I do not voice opinions on being the spouse left behind, nor do I lay claim or affinity to it. To me it is tantamount with the question you should never ask a soldier, and not something people get to speak for or against unless they where in that position. It is like saying pepsi it better then coke and you never drank a damn pop.

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  11. You invited people to read your blog and asked for comments, that makes it a dialogue/conversation.

    You stated I did something for selfish reasons, rather than just showing up for a family member. So yes you did discount what I did as a family member, after I made it clear that I started on that because of a family member.

    In my world, when I do something for someone there is no expectation of return, its what my grandmother called the 'open-handed giveaway'. If you are giving with both hands open, then you cannot be clutching something to yourself, holding back or having expectation. I understand that my grandmother was native so her way of thinking is circular, not linear like so many in today's society.

    You are the first person I've told about helping with resumes, and actually I do help more than just vets, I'll help anyone who asks, and I shouldn't have used it as a specific example. Instead I sh9ould have used a hypothetical, because it isn't about what "I" do specifically, it's that people, myself included, do DO something, and not just for the military.

    And I don't have a problem with anger, I have a problem with it being directed at me when I was under the impression I was doing what YOU asked, reading and commenting on what you write.

    You ARE entitled to your opinion, it is yours, it is based on your life, and I am entitled to mine.

    You tell me that I don't get to ask you what you did, yet you asked me what do I do? You direct anger at me, and when confronted with the question why, you direct more anger.

    So what I can only conclude is that you really do not want comments that disagree with you, only those that agree.

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  12. You are free to comment what ever the hell you like. You are free to conclude what ever the hell you like as well. You have not been deleted, and yet I still disagree with you. You are still here even though I feel you are derailing the conversation and nit picking to bring your point to light. I think you are getting angry about my anger and therefore feel my anger is invalid. Yet I am still here replying to you. Yet I have not deleted you. I also doubt seriously I am the first person you told about the resumes, because if you hand not told people then you would not be doing them. So we can nit pick the language that each of chose to use here.

    With that you are free to do what ever the hell you want. You are even free to piss me off, and I am free to piss you off. Its part of what is totally fucking awesome about this country. That to me is thanks enough for my service.

    To further it the anger was directed at you because you choose to make it personal and tried to use personal things to detract my statements, and then got pissed when I told you why I thought they where invalid. You don't want it to be personal, don't put the personal out there.

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  13. *blinkblink*

    I disagree with you all the time. Good lord, for a while I laughed at the fact that it seemed no matter what you posted I always had a completely different opinion.

    This isn't a bashing people who disagree with Jesse post, to be clear this isn't really about any one person. This just showcases a set of behaviors that I see often and don't particularly understand.

    I don't understand is why there is an expectation between people that says you should always agree. I also don't understand why there is an expectation of conciliatory behavior when you don't agree. "Oh I've upset you let me step back two steps and calm it down so you aren't upset." Why? I don't want to hurt my friends, but upsetting them? Not always a bad thing.

    Also, this is a huge pet peeve right here. Person A adds in personal detail in the middle of a debate/argument/conversation to show passion with the hopes of evoking empathy from a your opponent. This is to sway someone to your side. To agree with your point of view. Alright, I get this. This is smart, usually. Especially since there seems to be an ingrained drive to not upset someone else. But when Person B is not inclined towards emotional appeals and brushes it off, why then would Person A get butthurt? Or when Person B uses that personal information, that emotional appeal, to turn it back around, why then would Person A scream foul?

    Perhaps I should come with a warning label, "In a debate I WILL use any piece of information you give me. Give me ammunition at your risk."

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