Nothing is sometimes greater than
something. That I think is what I treasure most. Not so much the
presence of something, or something I can hold touch or feel, but
rather the absence of things. It is in this nothing that feel the
greatest peace, and the greatest comfort. So many times we reach out
for things, and push to acquire the baubles of life. We chase the
best car, the perfect house, and get wrapped up like a mass produced
cheese burger. We look at all the crap that we thin we need, and when
we get it all we do is look for the next thing that we have to have.
What I mean by nothing though, is not
just the repulsion of consumer based ideals. I am referring more to
that state of Zen or enlightenment that our Eastern brothers and
sisters talk about. I mean the absence of the static that fills our
life. A void of even white noise, and that false promise of peace. I
have found these moments in my life. One such moment hit me this
morning. I was standing waiting for the bus, eager to go to school.
The air was crisp and cold, but more importantly, it smelled like
nothing. No exhaust, perfume, animalistic odors, or that boiled onion
smell of an unwashed person. It did not carry the sweet scents of
fruit, or flowers. No rancid piles of shit, or burning flesh. Neither
good nor bad, just nothing.
In that nothing I found peace. For that
moment when I inhaled the world had stopped. I was not being
assaulted with choice or responsibility. It was not the comforting
smell of fresh cut grass. It was not the memories brought on by the
permeation of cinnamon touched fresh out of the oven, good old
wholesome, American apple pie. No memory or desire tainted this
moment. It simply was a moment and nothing more than that. Pressure
rolled off my shoulders. Expectations drifted away ever so briefly.
It was in that I found the wisdom of
"Office Space." The joy of nothing far out weighs the two
chicks at one time. Don't get me wrong, the two chicks at one time is
a great experience, one that I would recommend to all my friends,
but that is all life is. It is a succession of experiences wrapping
around us in a layer of over stimulation. They infect our thoughts,
our hearts, and our minds until their is nothing left but the desire
to contain, capture and recreate those experiences until all we are
doing is looking for the next one. Rarely are we given pause to
actually savor the experience of just being.
Life is a buffet and we are so
concerned with loading our plates and filling our gut, that we forget
to chew. We forget to enjoy the flavor. We forget so much, worried
that we might not get to experience something in our life, that we
forget to experience life. We get wrapped up in the sensation and
rarely get to appreciate the substance. Everything has substance.
Textures, feelings, tactile and visceral substance is everywhere. It
is in all actions, even the ones we might not think about or enjoy.
Sometimes you need a moment or two of nothing to appreciate the
circus that happens everyday.
When there is nothing to do, or nothing
to see, there is only you, that is when you can and will discover
what really has value. There you will find the stories worth telling
when you meet you ancestors again. It is then when you can find the
things you really do need to do before you are done with this world.
It is there that peace lays in wait. When everything stops, there is
no distraction, there just is. That is all we really have to do, we
just have to be. Its not about being good or bad. Its not about being
evil or righteous. It is naught that is right, but not in the sense
of right and right, but just in feeling right. It is what is
important in being human.
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