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Monday, January 2, 2012

It is what it is,..

Because of some recent changes in my life your regularly scheduled blog is being hijacked. I was going to talk about a soldiers eye view of things in regards to upholding that wonderful oath of service, possibly being used on civilians on our own soil, and when one draws the lines of patriots or insurgents. Not gonna happen though. Today I want to get something a bit more personal off my chest and also bring my own thoughts into focus. Some of this might be hard to follow because this is a personal matter and the names of those affected by this are purposefully left omitted. This is for the respect of those parties that this concerns.

Today though I want to talk about the term fault. Not like fault line but more along the lines of who is at fault. Then I want to address those hurtful things we say to each other as humans when we try to make sure others know that its not your fault and it is the sole fault of another. The infamous blame game. I could end this whole blog now with a simple statement, that fault or blame are typically equal on both sides of an issue unless it is a criminal act that is being committed. That though is not my style. Of course you in the faithful following know that I like to ramble on and write until my very fingers bleed.

First I want to discuss the value of fault, or being in the state there of. Unless you are filing an insurance claim or seeking restitution, fault or blame has little value. Understanding why someone did what they did may hold insight as to how to prevent things from happening again in a similar fashion but they do little to correcting the issue that forced people to want to place blame in the first place. Shit happens, you like it or you don't and if you don't you do something about it. It really does not matter how long you play the blame game, nothing changes until you do something about it no matter who's fault it is right?

Now we come to a scenario that many of us with siblings should be able to relate to. Picture the scene from the Simpsons when Bart says he is going to walk this way swing his arms and if Lisa stands in his way it is not his fault since he declared intent. Lisa does the same thing, and of course they collide because that is what they both wanted. Now who has the fault there? You see they are both angry enough to want to hit each other, but neither of them are willing to accept the blame or consequences of their actions, and if you did place blame on one child would it really resolve the conflict they had in the first place?

Now let us see about consequence and look where and if blame helps. If a person tells you that if you do not pay your car note, they are going to send someone out to repo your ride. Now say you do just that, do you blame the dude with the tow truck? Or perhaps the people that owe you money or the job issues? Who ever gets blamed you don't have a car no more. That repo man probably has his own car note or mortgage that he needs to pay too, so can you really blame him?

I think that is the nuts and bolts of it. We typically like to tag things with blame willy nilly and forget to look at the cause and affect. How much did we play into this and how much are we willing to be responsible for. In one situation I fucked up, I took blame, so please do not blame the people I was with. No matter how well in advance people know what you are going to do, if you do it you should accept the consequences of your actions. I do, fully.  Sure people get hurt, that is life. The true measure of character is what they do with it and how they lay the blame.

So for all you people out there locked and loaded with your blame throwers be careful, you can and will most likely get some on you. People will see what is yours and what is not. To the rest of you, I really love you for steeping up, and stay frosty is a crazy crazy world we live in. At the end of the day though what good does it do to cast blame and be hurt. It is what it is, what done is done, and its harder to move on if you are holding onto to those things that cause you pain. Sure it still hurts but that is why I try to focus on moving rather then trying to figure out why this happened to me. It did, so put on your big boy pants and move the fuck on.

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